Fifth Down

It’s already week 6. Time flies when you manage 4 fantasy football teams. Let’s dive in to which games you should watch and what you should watch for.

Home away from home Jags @ Bears but not really because they are in London on NFL network at 7:30 AM mountain time

I’m not gonna lie to you guys, I am less excited about getting up early for this one as I was last week. This will probably be more of deal where I wonder down to the couch around half time. But let me take this time to convince you to watch. This exciting match up features two number 1 draft picks at quarterback. We’ve got exciting rookie receivers in Bryan Thomas Jr. and Rome Oduze. Thomas is on one of my many fantasy teams and Oduze’s name is fun to say. The Bears have a solid defense. And the Jags like to give the other team the ball. The Jags do have the advantage of playing multiple games over seas every year because apparently Jacksonville isn’t that excited about watching them play. I can’t say I blame them too much on this one. London is happy to watch any football so it is a win, win. This is a tough one to predict. I do like that the Jags have the experience of playing overseas, but the Bears have the better defense. I don’t trust either coach. The Jags do seem to play better in London so I’m gonna give them the nod over Caleb who has been playing better but I just can’t get too confident about a guy who paints his finger nails before every game.

Jags 23 Bears 20

Battle of the running quarterbacks: Commanders @ Ravens at 11 AM mountain time on CBS

Lamar is the best running back to play quarterback in the league. He has gotten better at throwing and everyone thinks that he is as good as anyone but they are just fooling themselves. They are at their best when he is running. The combo of him and Henry has been very solid the last few weeks. On the other side, Jayden Daniels has taken the league by storm. He is running all over the place but he is throwing the ball well as well. Jayden has the Commanders rolling since their week 1 loss to the Bucs. Jayden has made some incredible throws over the last few games. This will be his toughest test yet. The Ravens D isn’t terrible but it isn’t the force it once was. Burrow did just throw 5 touchdowns on them. The Commanders do like to run first and then pass which isn’t ideal because the Ravens are better against the run than the pass. On top of that, their best running back Brian Robinson is banged up. I’m not sure how much he will be able to play. The Ravens are coming off an emotional few games. This is a big game for Jayden. He has answered the call every time so far and I think he does it again. Give me the Commanders in this one with the upset.

Commanders 31 Ravens 24

Battle for 2nd place: Chargers @ Broncos on CBS at 2:05 PM mountain time

The Chiefs are obviously going to win the division. The Raiders are falling apart so they are likely to finish last. That leaves these two to battle for second. The Chargers are coming off back to back losses after starting 2-0. The Broncos on the other side started 0-2 but then won 3 in a row. The Chargers if they can win this one won’t play a team that currently has a winning record for another 5 weeks. On the flip side, the Broncos have a couple of easier games followed by back to back games against the Chiefs and Ravens and then a game against the Falcons. This game is much more important to the Broncos long term success. Both teams can play defense and I am not sure that Justin Herbert is fully healthy. Bo Nix has been playing better but I think the Chargers will be well prepared. These teams seem pretty evenly matched so give me the Broncos in a low scoring game since this is a home game.

Broncos 16 Chargers 13

Dirty Detroit @ Disappointing Dallas on Fox at 2:25 PM mountain time

The Lions are coming off a bye and looked at their best the last game out. Dallas squeaked one out last week against the Steelers. Dallas is the home team where they have been beaten badly twice while being 3-0 on the road. Detroit went back to running the ball and that worked out pretty well for them. Jared Goff was literally perfect last game. While I don’t see that happening, I don’t believe the Cowboys are all that good. I’m sure Dan Campbell will be extra fired up coming off the bye week. Part of the reason the Cowboys have been better on the road is that they played worse teams on the road. It does seem odd for the Cowboys to start the year 0-3 at home but again, this is the Cowboys. Last year when these two played there was a controversial call when the refs said someone didn’t report eligible on what would have been the go ahead touchdown. The player who they said didn’t report was seen talking to the official before the play. Maybe they were just checking in on each other’s family or talking about what they were gonna have for dinner. Anyway, I think their Lions get their revenge.

Lions 34 Cowboys 24

The best quarterback for 3 weeks vs the quarterback who breaks up teams: Bills at Jets on ESPN at 6:15 PM mountain time

The Bills looked unstoppable the first 3 weeks of the season. Then they played two actual good teams and lost both. The Jets have been a mess all year. Last year they were good on defense and their biggest issue was the quarterback. But now Aaron Rodgers is healthy and they are good on defense and their biggest issue is at quarterback. Aaron has played poorly and last week he threw 3 interceptions. He also got his coach fired but somehow his buddy Nathaniel Hackett gets to keep his job despite being the worst play caller in the NFL. He is no longer calling plays or helping with the game plan but he still gets to be the offensive coordinator. Perhaps the Jets so look up the definition of offensive coordinator because I don’t think they understand the meaning. The Bills don’t usually play well against the Jets but they definitely need a bounce back win. Typically when a coach gets fired, the team responds with a win. But Aaron Rodgers is basically the coach so not much has really changed. This one is hard to pick because I am not sure how good either team is. But it seems like perfect spot for the Jets to win and then press to talk about how good they are now and how they have the best roster and yada yada yada. And then they will follow all that hype up by losing to the Steelers the next week.

Jets 24 Bills 17

This was a requested topic but one I often think about. It is a little funny to write this because the people in charge of the Chiefs seem to be doing a pretty good job. But why settle for good when I could do the job great. So here is the top 10 things I would do from least to most important.

10. Lower food and beverage prices at Arrowhead. The fans are as loyal as they get and have been tailgating since basically the night before the game. It’s the loudest stadium in the country. Award the people with a cheaper hot dog and coke.

9. Fix the locker room so we can stop getting a “F” on the stupid player report.

8. Make sure everyone gets their own hotel room on road trips. We aren’t running a non profit here. No grown man wants to share a hotel room with another grown man. I mean I’ve done it but purely for cost reasons. Cost should not be an issue for the Chiefs at this point.

7. Keep Skyy Moore on the roster to continue to frustrate the fan base. Do I think Skyy is good? I do not. Do I think Skyy will be good one day? I do not. Do I think it is funny to see grown men complain about him being on the roster on social media? I do.

6. Sign Nick Bolton to an extension. Bolton gets hurt a little more often than I would like, and he isn’t the best in coverage. But he is always and I mean always around the ball and is the leader of the D. Pay the man.

5. Sign Trey Smith to an extension. Trey is a beast. I value him a little over Bolton because Veach seems to be better at drafting linebackers than he is at drafting offensive linemen. And protecting Pat is very important. Plus Trey is good for some classic pancake blocks every season. I don’t want to miss those.

4. Give Pat a 10% stake in the Chiefs in order to stop giving him raises. Pat’s contract is pretty friendly overall but if the cap keeps going up but his pay doesn’t then we can find more good players to help us win more championships. Pat has already earned the 10% ownership because he has done more for our organization than any player in our history and it isn’t close. I am sure this is against the rules so we would do it real quiet like.

3. Give Andy and Spags whatever they want. Andy and Spags are literally dominating the league right now with one star defensive lineman, a tight end past his prime and a quarterback playing the worst football of his career. Injuries don’t bother us. I think Andy could find a way to get me open. I mean I probably wouldn’t catch it but neither does Skyy Moore and he gets to be on the team.

2. Ask the league if they can go ahead and suspend Rashee Rice this year. Dude is out the year and then will likely miss at least 6 games due to suspension. I would go to Rodger Godell and say hey bro, I got a deal for you. Instead of suspending Rice for 6 games next year, why don’t you suspend him for 12 this year. Double the suspension and you look like a rock star who truly cares about off the field issues even though you and I both know you don’t. What do you say?

1. Trade a 3rd round pick to the Browns to get Amari Cooper. Cooper is good. He is miserable over there in Cleveland. First he is in Cleveland and Cleveland sucks. Secondly the Browns are just awful. They get worse every week. How happy would Amari be to play for the Chiefs after playing for the Raiders, Cowboys and Browns? Look what we just did with JuJu. Imagine how good Andy could make Amari look. This one actually needs to happen.

There you have it. Feel free to send this on to Brett Veach to see if I can get a job. Tune in tomorrow for Five for Friday and go Royals!

Week 5 is in the books. Here are this week’s rankings from 32 to 1. This week I compare each team’s starting quarterback to a rapper because why not.

32. Drake: New England Patriots: Drake is not good. Drake Maye is probably not going to be good. But they have the same name.

31. P-Diddy: Cleveland Browns: Both Watson and P-Diddy started their careers off very well but got worse over time. And they both have ahem…off the field issues.

30. Kriss Kross: Las Vegas Raiders: They wore their clothes the wrong way. Minshew and the other guy throw the ball to the wrong team.

29. Vanilla Ice: Carolina Panthers: Both Vanilla Ice and Andy Dalton were good in 1991 and haven’t been good since.

28. Macklemore: Tennessee Titans: Macklemore sings a song about a thrift shop and the Titans just dropped their QB off at one.

27. Lil Wayne: Jacksonville Jaguars. Despite little to no knowledge of what it takes to be successful at football, Lil Wayne is always hanging around football games. Sort of like Trevor Lawrence.

26. Ice Cube: Miami Dolphins: Both Cube and Tyler Huntley were surprised that it was a good day on Sunday. Tyler didn’t give the game away and Cube didn’t use his AK.

25. Asher Roth: New Jersey Giants: Asher is barely a rapper and Daniel Jones is barely a quarterback.

24. Machine Gun Kelly: Cincinnati Bengals. Dying your hair doesn’t make you cool or successful.

23. Ice T: Los Angeles Rams. You sort of forget about Ice T and then he pops up in some crime drama and you are like oh yeah, Ice T is pretty good. Sort of like what happens with Matt Stafford when the Rams pop up on your tv.

22. Ol’ Dirty Bastard: Indianapolis Colts: I mean Joe Flacco…it just fits, right?

21. DC Talk: New Orleans Saints: Derek Carr is a really nice, Christian guy just like the guys from DC Talk. Unfortunately that trait doesn’t make them good at their actual occupations.

20. Ludacris: Philadelphia Eagles: Lulu is pretty good when he is rapping in other people’s songs. Jalen Hurts is pretty good when he has all his star players. Both of them when they are solo…not so much.

19. Eazy E: New Jersey Jets: Eazy E and his agent broke up a rap group and now Aaron Rodgers and the Jets owner are breaking up a team.

18. Common: San Fran 49ers: Common’s name is Common and everyone thinks Purdy is common. But both are actually pretty good.

17. Skee-Lo: Arizona Cardinals. Both Skee-Lo and Kyler Murray wish they were a little bit taller.

16. Future: Chicago Bears. Future’s name is Future and I think Caleb Williams might be good in the future.

15. Kendrick Lamar: Los Angeles Chargers: People think Kendrick Lamar is great. People think Justin Herbert is great. I think both are overrated.

14. Hammer: Denver Broncos: Bo was 2 Legit 2 Quit when Auburn gave up on him a few years ago. Now look at him, he’s a NFL quarterback.

13. Kanye West: Pittsburgh Steelers: Justin Fields has the Steelers playing harder, better, faster, stronger. Or at least the faster part.

12. The Weekend: Dallas Cowboys: Dak is blinded by the playoff lights.

11. DMX: Seattle Seahawks: DMX always seemed like an angry rapper. I think Geno kind of plays angry after being dumped around the league for years.

10. Limp Bizkit: Tampa Bay Bucs: Baker has the Bucs offense rollin, rollin, rollin. He and Fred Durst got that chip on their shoulder attitude.

9. Tupac: Buffalo Bills: It’s just Josh against the world for some reason because the world does not seem to want the Bills to win anything. He has shed so many tears after losing to the Chiefs in the playoffs. But that’s just the way it is. Some things will never change.

8. Flava Flav: Atlanta Falcons: Both Kirk and he love to rock big necklaces.

7. Notorious BIG: Green Bay Packers: It’s been mo money, mo problems since Jordan Love got paid, dealing with injury, bad interceptions and disgruntled teammates.

6. Snoop Dogg: Houston Texans: Just like Snoop, Stroud is a cool, chill, confident guy. Of course Stroud does it without a ton of weed in his body.

5. Jay Z: Washington Commanders: Sometimes someone shows up and just has that “it” factor. They are just naturally great. Jayden and Jay Z are like that.

4. Andre 3000: Baltimore Ravens: much like Andre, Lamar is good on his own but great as a duo with Derrick Henry. And the way Lamar plays quarterback makes him a little bit of an outkast in the league. (see what I did there).

3. Slim Shady: Detroit Lions: Will the real Jared Goff please stand up? Goff can be awesome or terrible but when he is awesome he is real awesome just like his Detroit pal, Eminem.

2. Dr. Dre: Minnesota Vikings: You remember when Dre disappeared for a while and then came back and was awesome? Sam Darnold is living his next episode.

1. DJ Khaled: Kansas City Chiefs: All Pat does is Win!

Tune in tomorrow for another edition of top 10 Thursday!

It’s already week 5! And in case you missed it, the week is off to a good start as the Falcons beat the Bucs in overtime on Thursday Night. Kirk Cousins threw for more yards last night than half the quarterbacks have thrown all year. I feel sorry for anyone who had Kirk on their bench in fantasy football. Anyway, let’s dive into the rest of week 5.

The British are coming!: Jets @ Vikings but not really because it is really @ London on NFL network at 7:30 AM mountain time

The NFL continues to try to take over the world one extremely early game at a time. For the next 3 weeks there will be games in Europe. While I am not a big fan of either of these teams, I am happy that at least it isn’t the Jags. Now you might be thinking, if Jeff doesn’t care about these teams then surely he won’t wake up on one of his two days to sleep in a little bit. Well you would be wrong. I’ll be up and at em and cheering on my fantasy players for both teams. The Vikings are off to an amazing start and are one of two undefeated teams. They have mostly survived the injury bug and former Jet Sam Darnold is playing lights out. Apparently all it took for him to be good was to not play for the Jets or the Panthers. A strong tactic for any NFL player. Meanwhile the Jets have been struggling along and are a measly 2-2 after falling to the Broncos last week in a game where Bo Nix had negative 7 passing yards in the first half. Aaron Rodgers is his normal semi disgruntled self. The coaching staff seems in over their heads. Everyone is talking about the awesome Jets defense but 3 of their 4 games were against the Titans, Patriots and Broncos. Not exactly a murderer’s row of offenses. The one good offense they played against was the 49ers who scored a bunch of points against them. The Vikes on the other hand have handled the 49ers, Texans and Packers the last 3 weeks. I think everyone might be talking about the wrong defense. I’m rolling with my Sam Darnold in this one as he gets his revenge and then celebrates with some biscuits and hi tea.

Vikings 24 Jets 13

Wake Me Up When September Ends: Ravens @ Bengals on CBS at 11 AM mountain time

The Bengals got the best news earlier this week when on Tuesday it became October. They got their first win last week against the struggling Panthers. Now they host the red hot Ravens who are 2-2 but won their last 2 and their last game is decisive fashion. The Bengals can pull even with the Ravens with a win. There is just one problem though. The Bengals don’t beat the Ravens all that often. When Lamar plays, the Ravens usually beat the Bengals. There is actually a second problem too. The Bengals aren’t very good. I mean talent wise they are pretty good but for some reason it is not coming together for them. In the past they have looked bad early but usually it isn’t this bad. I’m certainly not complaining about them being bad but they just don’t look right. Usually these games are defensive slug fast. But the Bengals D doesn’t seem to be able to stop anybody outside of the Chiefs who they always play their best game against. Both these teams have already talked about what is going to happen when the play the Chiefs in the playoffs. The loser of this is going to have a hard time even making it to the playoffs. These games are usually pretty close but in the end, give me the running back playing quarterback in this one.

Ravens 27 Bengals 17

Houston we have a problem: Bills @ Texans on CBS at 11 AM mountain time

The Bills are coming off a complete beat down by the Ravens. I expect them to bounce back and play well despite both them and one of my 4 fantasy teams not having Kalil Shakir. Josh Allen is playing great football and the Bills were dominating everyone until last week. Granted the teams they dominated were the Jags, Dolphins and Cardinals. The Texans are also 3-1 defeating the challenging teams of the Jags, Colts and Bears. They also lost badly to the one good team they played when they lost on the road to the Vikings. This one is at home but they will also be missing one of their main weapons in Joe Mixon who is out for the 3rd straight week. This could very well be a fun shoot out but I think it will be a little slower paced than we are hoping for. Both defenses are decent overall and both offenses are down a guy or two. I don’t think we really know a whole lot about how good either of these teams are yet. What’s a better test than playing each other? Also, this is sort of a revenge game for Stephon Diggs who is going up against his former team. The last time he went up against a former team he lost 34-7. He is hoping for a better outcome this time. I’m looking for a better outcome from Tank Dell who is brining down two of my fantasy teams. I think these teams are pretty even and that usually leads me to pick the home team. But I just don’t think Josh Allen will have two duds in a row. He shows the Texans and the world life can be better off without Diggs.

Bills 31 Texans 21

First one to two scores wins!: Raiders @ Broncos on Fox at 2:05 PM mountain time

The rare all AFC game on Fox. I am sure CBS was real sad about giving up this one. I always enjoy when the Raiders play the Broncos because it is the two times a year I can cheer for the Broncos with my wife and really mean it. The Broncos are coming off an exciting victory over the Jets. And by exciting, I mean they won the game in a close fashion, not that it was fun to watch. The Broncos are now 2-2 and they haven’t even learned how to pass yet. Their defense does seem to be very good. With Vance Joseph as their coordinator, I am surprised as you are. Meanwhile the Raiders are also 2-2. Despite being a total disaster they were able to beat the Browns last week because the Browns are an even bigger dumpster fire. Davante Adams said he would “prefer” to be traded. Which is a very polite way of saying get me the hell out of here. I think he has been hoping to get traded ever since he got there. That is the raider way, to want out as soon as you get there. They have a no nonsense coach but if you keep moving on from your talent it doesn’t matter how disciplined you are. Anyway, Davante is not going to play of them again. He “injured” his hamstring in practice a week ago but watch how quickly that heals up once he gets out of Vegas. I don’t think either of these teams are all that good. But one of them can at least play defense. Look for another exciting game when Gardner Minshew and Bo Nix battle it out. The Broncos take it in another low scoring affair.

Broncos 13 Raiders 12

Pissed off Pat?: Saints at Chiefs on ESPN at 6:15 PM mountain time

It’s been a while since we have seen pissed off Pat but of all my favorite Pat’s, that is my favorite one. He plays well when he is angry and sometimes in dominating fashion. The Chiefs have won 10 in a row with most of them being stressful one score wins. Eventually we have to beat someone by multiple scores. I think Pat is upset that the pick he threw got Rice hurt. I also think he is tired of playing sub par football. The only question is who is he going to throw to with Rice out. It’s a hodgepodge bunch but Pat has done more with less before. Meanwhile the Saints haven’t looked the same since not punting the first two games. They’ve dropped two in a row and haven’t looked great doing it. While the defense looks solid enough, they may be running into a little problem called Derek Carr. Carr rarely plays well against the Chiefs which is good news for me. The Chiefs have been very good against the run and if they can stop Kamara they should be fine. I’d like to say this is the day that pissed off Pat dominates and the Chiefs win by multiple scores, I just can’t say it anymore until I see it. Get ready for another low scoring, stressful last minute winning game. But hey, a win is a win.

Chiefs 20 Saints 17

Today we cover the top 10 positions we would want to play in Football. Let’s dive in.

10. Running Back: You have a short shelf life and are lucky to make it through your rookie contract. Also, no one values you anymore so you are lucky if you get drafted in the second or third round. On a positive note, you have the ability to make fantasy football owners very happy for the 3 years you are good.

9. Cornerback: The positives are if you are really good you can become overpaid very quickly. Also, expectations of your tackling skills are low. On the negative side, you are on an island and everyone knows when you make a mistake.

8. Kicker: The positives are you can be the hero of any game at any time. See Harrison Butker the last few years. You also only play like 7 or 8 plays a game. On the negative, you can also be the most hated person in a city. See Lin Elliott and Scott Norwood.

7. Punter: Slightly less glory but way less pressure. No one remembers the guy who costs you the game because he shanked a punt. Still don’t have to play much and you get to act tough when you occasionally push the returner out of bounds.

6. Outside Linebacker (3/4 defense only): You have one job. Go get the quarterback. Rack up sacks and if you aren’t completely terrible against the run you are highly complimented for being a “complete” player.

5. Wide Receiver: Be as loud and obnoxious as you want. Celebrate every catch you make by pointing forward. When you don’t catch it, flop around because there was obviously pass interference otherwise you would have caught it. Cut and die your hair funny. Have lots of tattoos. Get in trouble off the field as long as it isn’t too bad. Have lots of kids with lots of women. You are basically an NBA player playing football.

4. Starting Quarterback: This would be higher back in the day. But now it is more pressure than glory. It’s your job to drag your entire franchise along with wins and stats. If you don’t have stats but have wins you are a game manager. If you have stats but no wins, then you are just taking advantage of bad opponents. But unless you are Patrick Mahomes you can be extremely overpaid without accomplishing anything like Justin Herbert, Trevor Lawrence and Tua.

3. Long Snapper: you are the least athletic person on the team but you have complete job security because you can snap a ball through your legs. It’s always the kickers fault unless the holder screws up so bad that you can’t not blame him. No one knows your name or what you look like so you can go out in public and do whatever you want and no one will notice. But you get an NFL pay check so you can buy more stuff than I can, even though we have the same overall athletic ability.

2. Back up quarterback: This is the role you want. You get to hang out with best player on the team. You mostly just hang out on the sideline with a clipboard. Then you occasionally sit on the bench and look at pictures on an iPad with the starter. If you are thrust into play, no one expects much so if you play poorly they say, well that is why he is the backup. If you play well you are the hero. Henne thing is possible!!

1. Chase Daniel: Okay not technically a position, but this is who you want to be. This guy bounced around the league and was well respected despite rarely playing. He never played and so his body is still in great shape because it took the same physical toll as a kicker…maybe less. And he made over 43 million dollars. To put that in perspective, John Elway made 47 million in his career and guys like Justin Herbert and Jalen Hurts haven’t hit that number yet. Of course they will vastly surpass that. But both of them have started one less game this year than Chase started in his whole career. The guy was in the league for 13 years and threw less that 275 passes and 9 touchdowns and made 43 million dollars! And now he has used his time in the NFL to start a great tv career. He is literally living my dream.

Another week is in the books! It was filled with upsets, blowouts, nail biters and of course more injuries. Here are my never wrong, always 100% correct and important rankings.

Just the worst: Jags. Sure they put up a fight against a depleted Texans team but they remain the only defeated team in the league. I’m starting to think that Trevor Lawrence is not very good at football.

Really bad, I mean just awful…but slightly better than the Jags: Browns, Patriots, Dolphins, Titans, Giants, Panthers. All these teams have 1 win. That is the one thing they have going for them. They are all really bad football teams.

Really bad, but I mean half their team is hurt: Rams. They are not good but maybe they would be if they had a few more healthy players.

Really bad but still kind of fun: Cardinals. They are going to lose a lot of games but they aren’t terrible to watch.

September Bengals: You don’t move far in the rankings by barely beating the Panthers.

Pretty sure they aren’t very good: Eagles, Cowboys, Broncos, Raiders, Jets, Chargers, Bears. All these teams seem to have issues. But the league overall isn’t great so a couple of them will probably make the playoffs.

Better now that Shane Falco is at QB: Colts. Joe Flacco once again got off his crappy house boat to play quarterback for an average team that he somehow makes significantly better. Richardson will probably come back and start this week but it is only a matter of time before he gets hurt…once again.

Worst 3-1 team in the league: Steelers. They finally lost but to be fair to them, they were not prepared to face Shane Falco.

Somebody is going to win the NFC South and they might not be terrible this year: Saints, Falcons and Bucs. The last couple of years this division has been the first one to eight wins gets the division. But I think these teams might actually be pretty good. I have the least faith in the Saints which is a bit ironic based upon their team name.

The only fun thing in D.C. : Commanders. While I think most of us are dreading this election coming up along with all the normal shenanigans going on in DC, there is at least one bright spot. Jayden Daniels is the best thing to come to DC in a long time. He is fun and so are the Commanders. Their defense finally stopped someone and the offense is rolling. I think they might actually be good.

Ready to lose in the divisional round: Bills. Just when you think that this Bills team might be different, they go and do something like this and reassure you that they are the same ole Bills.

Good…but not that good: Texans, Seahawks. I think they have a solid teams. They might even win their division. Well, Houston will definitely win their division. But they are still not at the level of the top teams.

Whatcha gonna do, they are 2-2: Packers, Ravens, 49ers. All these teams are better than their records and are improving. Health is the only thing that keep them from making a run in the playoffs. I’m looking at you 49ers.

Goff and Running: Lions. It amazing how much better the Lions are when the run the ball and don’t have Jared Goff throw 50 times a game. Goff was literally perfect on Monday night and even caught a touchdown. Although, he did look like me running over there to catch it. As long as the Lions stick to this game plan, they are a contender.

Coach of the year: Vikings. Kevin O’Connell has the Vikings 4-0 with wins over the 49ers, Texans and at the Packers. They let the Packers back in the game but it was pretty much all 3 dominating victories. He has done all this with Sam Darnold at Quarterback. Darnold was almost out of the league. Now he leads the league in touchdowns. We might as well give him coach of the year honors right now.

No Rice…still no dice: Chiefs. Even when we lose our best offensive player we still win. I know Mahomes is technically the best but he isn’t playing like it. Here’s hoping he can go a game without throwing a pick. The Chiefs are the DJ Khaled of the NFL. All we do is win.

My Friday got away from me with work and then spending 2 and an half hours driving to watch my son play Friday night lights which his team lost 58-6 and then I drove 2 and an half hours back home. Then on Saturday, we had a fun day as a family. But don’t worry because I will not let you down, even though I am a couple of days late, I’m making it up with an extra game. So with that…let’s do this! Here is Six for Sunday to get you ready for the games today!

Revenge of the Red Rifle: Bengals @ Panthers on Fox at 11 am mountain time

Despite several good years in the Natti, the Bengals were happy to say goodbye to a guy named Andy Dalton and draft Joe Burrow. Since then, Burrow has gone to the Super Bowl, lost a AFC championship in what was briefly called burrowhead and been injured multiple times. Meanwhile, Andy has bounced around the league with a few different teams without a lot happening for him…until now. Andy came in last week as the starter and made the Panthers look like a real football team. Sure it was against the Raiders…but still. Meanwhile the Bengals have been flailing about losing to the Pats at home in week 1, a heartbreaker at Arrowhead which they once called Burrowhead and since calling it that are 9-11, and then losing at home to the Commanders. This is an absolute must win for the Bengals. And it is absolutely a nothing to lose game for the Panthers. So who wins this battle of the cats? Well what day is it? September 29th? Which means we are still dealing with the September Bengals? Give me the red rifle for the revenge win sending all the Natti into a downward spiral.

Panthers 31 Bengals 27

Can you Hackett? Broncos @ Jets on CBS at 11 am mountain time

In case you don’t remember Nathaniel Hackett was the Broncos coach for like 9 months a couple of years ago. If you are a Broncos fan, I am sure you are trying to forget about that entire year. Why did the Broncos hire Hackett to begin with? I firmly believe it was to get Aaron Rodgers…which they did not. Instead, they got Russell Wilson. Everyone tried to act like it was just as good. But sadly, it was not. In fact, it was about the worst year in Broncos history. I’m not a Broncos fan so I can’t stay that for sure, but it was pretty dang rough. Russ was awful and the phrase “let’s ride” will forever be associated with terribleness. Hackett got run out of town before the season was over. Hackett was the scapegoat and a new Super Bowl winning, likely hall of fame coach Sean Payton showed up and then Russ was the scapegoat and then they ran him out of town. They are literally paying him million of dollars to sit on the bench in Pittsburgh. And now Sean has his boy Bo Nix and all the excuses have to stop. They did last week with a big win in Tampa. Meanwhile, Hackett finally reunited with Rodgers in New Jersey which at first was only about 4 plays. But this year, they have been together for 3 games and are 2-1. Albeit their two wins are against the Patriots and the Titans. Despite no Rodgers, Hackett and the Jets went to Denver with the arm of Zach Wilson and won. So what happens with round 2? Rodgers and the gang looked good but the defense of the Broncos looks solid as well. I think this will be mid range game point wise as both defenses are solid. I don’t trust the Jets coaches but I trust Rodgers more than I trust a guy playing his 4th game of the year.

Jets 20 Broncos 17

Birth vs fandom: Vikings @ Packers on CBS at 11 AM mountain time

I know it is an odd title, but my son Walker was born in Minnesota and is a huge Packers fan. How did this happen you might ask. Well, as you know, I am a huge Chiefs fan and my wife is a huge fan of the Broncos. My son at a young age knew he was in a no win situation, so he chose his own team and decided to pick the Packers for some reason. He has been loyal ever since. On the football field, Jordan Love is likely going to play. On the other side, Sam Darnold who has been terrible his whole career is all of the sudden awesome. This is a battle of two of the best young coaches in the league. What Matt Lafleur has done the last two weeks with Malik Willis is amazing. But they have also beat the Colts and the Titans who both are proving to be less than average. Meanwhile Kevin O’Connell has given Sam Darnold new life in the league while beating the 49ers and Texans. No matter what happens, we are all winners if we watch because Kevin Harlan is announcing. How much more productive would we all be if Kevin Harlan narrated our lives. “Look at Jeff Campbell go! He’s putting on his headset. He’s putting in the number…look at him dial! He’s going all in on this cold call! Will he get the voice mail? Will he get the assistant who is really a gate keeper? Or will he actually get the person he is calling? Oh my! It’s the person he is calling! He’s dominating this cold call with incredible questions leading him to provide the solutions this person has always been looking for!” We would all be better, lets be honest. But I digress. Kevin O’Connell after the Texans win in the locker room said that that this feels real. And he told them he wouldn’t lie to them. So who am I to question this? I believe you Kevin!

Vikings 24 Packers 20

Running Wild in the Desert: Commanders @ Cardinals on Fox at 2:05 PM mountain time

This should be a fun one! What’s not to like? You got Quarterbacks that run around. Good skill players making plays. A former head coach returning home as an offensive coordinator of an opposing team and the best part, terrible defenses. The Cardinals are not good against the run defensively and the Commanders aren’t good against air defensively. Everyone has been able to run on the Cardinals and everyone has been able to run and pass against the Commanders. But that hasn’t stopped the Commanders from becoming 2-1. Meanwhile, the Cardinals have suffered a couple of tough losses to the Bills and the Lions with a blow out over what is left of the Rams in between. Are either of these team any good? Probably not. Are both of these teams fun to watch? You betcha. Sure you could watch what is left of the 49ers hosting the boring Patriots or watch the battle of dumpster fires when the Browns play the Raiders. You could even sit through another stressful, close Chiefs victory. That’s what I’ll be doing because I am Chiefs fan and that’s what heroes do. But you better believe I’ll have this game playing on my iPad to see what happens in what should be a score fest with two quarterbacks running around. While I don’t have a ton of confidence in either of these teams actual success, they both also have great fantasy value. I got guys on both teams playing and I am also playing against them as well and sometimes I have a guy in one league and am playing against him in another. I’m talking to you James Conner. This is the life of a guy managing 4 fantasy football teams. Anyway, despite all the fun, someone has to win this thing. The Cardinals are coming off a tough loss and the Commanders could easily have a let down after an emotional win in the Natti. Give me the home team in a fun shootout.

Cardinals 34 Commanders 30

Chiefs extra home game: Chiefs @ Chargers on CBS at 2:25 PM mountain time

The Chiefs head on the road for the second week in a row, the only difference in this week is that its not really a road game because they are playing the Chargers who don’t really have home games. The Chargers are the only team in the league that plays their home games with at least half the crowd cheering for the other team. But hey, they have Jim Harbaugh so they are exciting now. I must say that Jim is a good coach. However, when you see him on TV, am I the only one that thinks he looks 75? He moves around on the field slightly faster than Joe Biden gets off the stage. Did you see the locker room scene after the first win against the Raiders? Their owner came in and was talking and Jim Harbaugh looked like he didn’t know where he was. But to his credit he has turned this team from a drastic under performer to a team that wins when they are supposed to. The bad news is they are also a team that loses when they are supposed to. Especially with Herbert injured. On the other side, the talk has already continued about what is wrong with the Chiefs despite being 3-0. Winning doesn’t seem to matter when it comes to KC. Instead, they must not only win but win all fancy. Well guess what? The Chiefs are just good enough. They are just good enough to beat whoever they need to beat to win the game. The Chargers are not as talented and even if they were it wouldn’t matter because everyone is hurt. Herbert is playing on one leg, they are down at least one tackle and Joey Bosa is out. If this was another great team, this would be a blow out. But this is the Chiefs, so expect a stressful game with some late call that is probably a blatant call but is late in the game against the Chargers so that everyone can cry about the refs rigging the game for the Chiefs. And you know who has two thumbs and doesn’t care how we win as long as we win? This guy!

Chiefs 23 Chargers 20

Battle of QBs who we try to act like are on Mahomes level but aren’t: Bills @ Ravens on NBC at 6:20 pm

The Bills are the September Champs not just winning but winning big. Of course those wins are against the Cardinals, Dolphins and Jaguars. The Ravens are the team everyone wants to be great because Lamar has won two mvps despite not being incredibly good at throwing the football. It’s like being the best running back to ever play quarterback isn’t enough for these people. Lamar is sort of fun to watch and Josh Allen is really fun to watch. The Ravens are good at running the ball and the Bills aren’t great at stopping the run. The Ravens aren’t good at stopping anyone besides the Cowboys for 3 quarters. They are at home so that they feel good about that but Josh is playing lights out and the September Bills are the anti September Bengals. This will be the first real test for the Bills. Meanwhile it has been a stressful season so far for the Ravens. One thing both these teams have in common is snatching defeat from the jaws of victory especially against the Chiefs. But at the end of the day, I think the Bills are the better team with the better quarterback and the less likely team to choke away a game. So give me the Bills with the win.

Bills 27 Ravens 20

Welcome to the first edition of Top 10 Thursday where Fifth-Down brings you a top 10 list. We kick things off with the top 10 worst mascots in the NFL.

10. Bills. Obviously the couldn’t be the Buffalo Buffalos but they could have been the Bison as opposed to a group guys with the same name or things we hate paying.

9. Cardinals. Oh no, here comes the scary small song birds.

8. Commanders. The name isn’t that bad but how they got there was stupid. I liked them better when they were nameless.

7. 49ers. Here comes the prospectors looking for gold! They should really be looking for better trainers to keep their players healthy.

6. Steelers. Oh boy, here comes the people who make steel. Woohoo!

5. Packers. Unless, you are an amazon employee you can’t get too excited about this one.

4. Chargers. Look they named their team after the thing you are always frustrated that you can’t find. I guess it is in reference to lightning but it doesn’t exactly strike fear into the opponent.

3. Texans. They were named this purely so people in Houston could remember what state they live in.

2. Colts. You know what is less intimidating than horses? Baby horses.

1. Browns. They are named after a color. Of course they are really named after Paul Brown who was their coach for a while and he left and co-founded the Bengals who now play in Paul Brown stadium. To make matters worse their mascot is an elf for some reason and their team colors are mostly orange and white. This is just a terrible franchise all the way around.

There you have it. Tune in next Thursday for the next top 10 list and if there are any topics you want me to cover, the suggestion box is open!

3 weeks are in the books and as we head into Week 4 there is a little more clarity of who is who. Here are the ever important rankings for the week.

AFC Suck Division: Jaguars, Titans and Colts. Sure the Colts hung on to beat the Bears but Richardson is highly inconsistent and the rest of the team isn’t very good either. The Jags and Titans look just awful.

Da Bears, Da Suck: Caleb threw for more yards and I am sure he and they will get better but right now they are a bad football team and he is a bad quarterback.

Raiders gonna Raider: You lose to the woeful Panthers you move up the bad team list. You get blown out by the woeful Panthers and you are at towards the very top of the list.

They are who we thought they were: Patriots, Browns and Giants. The Patriots beat the Bengals and hung with the Seahawks but on Thursday night they looked like who I thought they would be. Expect more of the same. The Browns are highly inconsistent and that win over the Jags looks worse and worse. The Giants beat the Browns but really only have one good offensive player. None of these teams will ever be consistently good.

The Red Rifle is back!: The Panthers are significantly better for at least one game with Andy Dalton at QB.

The September Bengals: These are my favorite type of Bengals. Here’s hoping they hang out with us the rest of the season.

Tua late to get a new QB?: For those of you who wondered why the Dolphins paid Tua so much, Skylar Thompson is why.

You’re welcome: Broncos. They have been woefully bad offensively so I picked up the Bucs D in fantasy football. And of course the Broncos looked great and the Bucs D did horrible. This made my wife’s side of the family happy and my fantasy team not happy.

Hahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhaha: Cowboys. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha!

Best running back playing quarterback ever: Ravens. Move over Christian McCaffrey who played quarterback for the 49ers for a little bit when they ran out of QBs in the nfc championship game a couple of years ago. Lamar is clearly the best running back to ever play quarterback and he showed that against the cowgirls.

Winners of the IR Game: Rams. They are too banged up to have long term success but what a comeback against the slightly less injured 49ers.

Not sure how good they are but they are fun to watch: Cardinals, Commanders and Falcons. Falcons and Cardinals are both feisty birds right now. Can they put it together and actually win a lot of games? Yet to be determined. The Commanders have their QB and he balled out last night. Can he stay healthy is question 1. Question 2 is can they figure out how to cover anyone on defense.

Not sure how good they are and not that fun to watch: Chargers and Eagles. The Chargers lost to the Steelers and Justin Herbert is hurt. If Herbert comes back, they are slightly more entertaining but not a lot. The Eagles should be fun but because Hurts isn’t playing well, they have too many injuries and Nick Siranni is sort of an idiot, they aren’t that fun either.

It’s not looking Purdy: 49ers. Brock actually played pretty well but this team is pretty banged up. They lost the IR game and look like they are headed in the wrong direction.

Worst undefeated team: Steelers. They keep winning. I keep not being impressed.

Good teams or just bad opponents?: Jets and Seahawks. These teams have looked pretty good but the Seahawks beat the Broncos during Bo Nix’s first start, the patriots and the dolphins without Tua. The Jets lost to the 49ers and then beat the Titans and the Patriots. Still not sure if these teams are good.

Came back to earth: Texans, Saints and Bucs. All of these teams have been flying high but got rude awakenings in week 3.

A good healthy QB away from being great: Packers and Lions. The good news for the Packers is they are actually waiting for their good quarterback to become healthy. What they have done with Malik Willis at QB is amazing. Sure the Colts and Titans are awful but so was Malik Willis 3 weeks ago. The Lions issue as that Goff looks like old Goff. He played better but is still making a lot of dumb mistakes.

Whatcha you talking about Darnold!: Vikings. I think this team might be legit. I think Sam Darnold might be legit. Can we just go ahead and give Kevin O’Connell coach of the year now?

Ready to lose in the Divisional Round: Bills. They look great. They look unstoppable. But this is what they do. They are the Anti Bengals. Great in September but always find a way to lose in the playoffs.

Not playing well but still better than your team: Chiefs. We don’t look great but we are 3-0 and eventually will play better and that’s when it gets real scary for the rest of the league.

Tune in Thursday for a new segment called Top 10 Thursday and then Five for Friday will be back on Friday.

This is a new segment that Fifth-Down is bringing you. While this will still be football related, it won’t necessarily have anything specifically to do with this NFL season. It might be past stories, fantasy football related or other fun or funny topics. So let’s dive into the first ever edition of Monday Funday.

The J Team

As you all know, I love fantasy football. I am not necessarily all that good at it but I love to play and get others to play. The biggest example of this is the family fantasy football league I created called A House Divided. This is our 4th season playing. It is made up of myself, my wife, and my two kids along with siblings, nephews, and nieces. While we have had a solid 10 teams from the get go, the 11th and 12th spots have rotated a little bit. Now I feel confident that we have our 12 going forward. The last member I roped in last year, was my sister, Ruth. I had a whole big speech ready to give to her to make her our 12th member. But she already knew I was going to make her play and was ready to say yes.

I am lucky to have two siblings that aren’t just my brother and sister but are also two of my best friends. Besides a short stretch when I was in middle school and Ruth was in high school, we always got a long. She is a great person and arguably the smartest person I know. She can figure out all sorts of things out that I am incapable of. To give you an idea of how smart she is, do you remember when Sudoku was cool? My wife got me started on Sudoku when we were dating. I was much more interested in her than Sudoku. If she was into checkers, I would have been into checkers. But I digress. Anyway, Sudoku is this puzzle game where you have to fill in numbers. The books would go from easy to very difficult. If I completed a medium difficultly level one I would feel good about it. As I was doing Sudoku, I thought Ruth would love these. So I called her and said, hey have you ever done Sudoku. She said, yeah I did that a little bit but it is too easy. I said you mean the ones in the front of the book? She said all of them. I felt dumb but I am only dumb compared to Ruth.

I am fully confident that if Ruth applied herself to Fantasy Football she would dominate our league and whatever other leagues she wanted to. However, there is just one problem. She doesn’t care. I know that seems crazy. But Ruth does not care about football. And therefore, she doesn’t care much about fantasy football. She is just in the league because she loves me and is a good sister. But she will admit that last year she had more fun than she thought she would. But when she loses, it does not affect her life. But as with all things in life, Ruth finds ways to make things more interesting for her. She came up with a strategy for this season that is definitely unique to her.

Draft strategies are nothing new to fantasy football. There is Zero RB, Hero RB, Heavy RB (I’m not sure why most of the strategies revolve around the running back), QB early, QB late, and so on. But this is a strategy I am sure you haven’t heard of or used before.

My Sister texts me and says, I think I have a draft strategy for this year. This was of course intriguing. She says, I am going to draft players that all have names that start with the same letter. Now this seems sort of up surd to someone like me who studies football a ton. But it is the perfect strategy for someone like Ruth. It’s a way to have a strategy without having to do a lot of work. But is it even possible? Well of course this guy had to try.

I started with a mock draft and used her number 4 pick. The first time I did it I decided to pick whoever I would actually pick at 4 and then draft the rest of the team based upon that. I picked Breece Hall. So at that point, everyone else on my team’s last name had to start with H. Here was my starting lineup.

QB- Jalen Hurts, WR- Tee Higgins, WR-Deandre Hopkins, RB-Breece Hall, RB Najee Harris, TE-Hunter Henry, Flex-Khalil Herbert, K-Dustin Hopkins.

While that is not terrible, it’s not great and my bench was way worse. So I let Ruth know not to go with H. Ruth, being the smart person that she is knew a much better letter to use. She said I think J for all the first names would work. That made sense to me. So I had to dive in and do another mock draft with this strategy. It did mean that I would have to start by drafting either Jamar Chase or Justin Jefferson earlier than I normally would at pick 4. Well you know, I wasn’t picking Chase because I hate him. I wouldn’t draft Chase in a real draft, I’m certainly not taking him in a mock draft. Plus it is bonus points for Jefferson since both his first and last name start with J. As I continued the mock draft, I realized not only was this possible it was actually possible to put together a pretty dang good team. As each round passed and each of my picks came up I got more excited about the team. This was my final team.

QB Jordan Love

WR Justin Jefferson

WR Jaylen Waddle

RB Josh Jacobs (double points again)

RB James Conner

TE Jake Ferguson

Flex Jayden Reed

K Jason Myers

Defense Jacksonville

Tell me you wouldn’t roll with this squad. But unlike the H team, the J team had a really solid bench. My bench was Javonte Williams, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Jameson Williams, Jerome Ford, Josh Downs, and Jahan Dotson. I immediately let Ruth know that J is the letter to go with. Ruth was excited and even more excited that I had done her homework for her.

Then the actual draft came. While I was certainly excited about the draft for myself because I love the draft. I was excited to see what Ruth would do, how it would go in a live draft and would anyone else notice. She came up to draft and picked Justin Jefferson. In round 2 she grabbed Josh Jacobs. She’s off to a great start not only getting two players but earning double points for both first and last name starting with J. Round 3 comes around quickly and she picks up James Cook. While I love Cook and have him in another league, I thought she should have gotten Waddle and hope that James Conner is still there in the 4th. But because she didn’t she drafts Jayden Reed way earlier than most people would. This immediately works out for her in week 1 when Reed is one of the highest scoring receivers in the league. Round 5 she gets Javonte Williams who has been a disappointment but doesn’t ruin her team because of a great grab later in the draft. Next she goes Joe Burrow at QB. She rounds out her starting team picking Justin Tucker, Jonnu Smith, and the Jacksonville D in rounds 7-9. Then she got Jordan Addison in round 10. She got what looks to be a steal of the draft in JK Dobbins in round 11. In rounds 12-15 she grabs Josh Palmer, Josh Downs, Juwan Johnson and Jaylen Wright to wrap up her team. And my favorite part, I am pretty confident no one noticed.

So how is the season going? She is 1-1 and in 4th place and 3rd in points. Not too shabby. Now I do have some questions on how she will manage bye weeks and injuries. But so far so good. I got a text after week 1 that said I started J and I should have started J. And J is listed at questionable so I might have to put in J. A couple of Saturdays ago, she said, you know I might actually know their first names by the end of the season. If you look at the app it just says J. and then the players last name. So it does look like a bunch of Js. She changed her team name to the Jays and her logo is a blue jay. She has gone all in on the strategy. And this is how she made fantasy football fun for her. Certainly I am hoping to win the league but if I don’t, I got to say I am cheering for the Jays. It would be hilarious if this strategy didn’t just make her competitive but won her the league. It just might create a whole new strategy that sweeps the fantasy football nation. Which would be about right, for the smartest person I know to come up with a successful strategy that involves absolutely no knowledge nor any care about football. If anyone can pull it off, it’s my sister Ruth.

We dive into week 3 of the NFL Season. There are some great games this week. Here are my top 5 games with a little something about each one and my always correct, rock solid predictions.

Lemonade game: Texans @ Vikings on CBS at 11 AM mountain time

2 years ago, the Texans were a disaster. In fact, they were so bad that they were in the running for the number 1 pick. But instead, the won one too many games. So they ended up with the number 2 pick. With a disaster of a team things looked bleak but with that second pick along with a new coach they made lemonade out of lemons. Stroud has been solid. Nico Collins has been exceptional and their defense has done a nice job. They head back on the road to face a Minnesota Vikings team that I and many others thought would be a mess and at the bottom of their division. Instead they are in first place being led by Sam Darnold. Apparently Kevin O’Connell is some sort of quarterback whisper. Sam Darnold has been a disaster everywhere he has been. He is most famous for saying that he was seeing ghosts during a game. He’s bounced around the league everywhere. And arrived in Minnesota after Kirk Cousins left. It’s only been 2 weeks but Darnold has been excellent and even beat the 49ers this past weekend. Sure he has Justin Jefferson. But name another healthy receiver for the Vikings. I’ll wait. So with not a ton of talent, Darnold is leading this team well and playing great. And Kevin O’Connell has truly made something sweet out of a true lemon in Darnold. They face another test this week. The Texans may be without Joe Mixon which has been an important part of their success. I think the Texans are the better team and will end up having a more successful season. But I think the Vikings pull another upset at home.

Vikings 27 Texans 24

The Saints go marching in: Eagles @ Saints on Fox at 11 AM mountain time

The Saints have been outstanding the first two weeks of the season. They have been so ridiculously good that they literally haven’t punted. They have scored a field goal or a touchdown on every offensive drive. That’s just crazy. Derek Carr has had a resurgence after being terrible last year. Alvin Kamara stopped beating up people with his buddies and instead is beating up on opposing defenses. Dude had 4 tds last week alone. Olave and Shaeed have both been great. Their defense has been very solid so far. They look like a legitimate force to be reckoned with. The Eagles on the other hand are 1-1 and have been up and down in both games. Hurts seems a little out of sorts in this offense. But he is mobile and makes a lot of great plays as well. He also makes some mistakes. Barkley has been great minus one important drop pass last week. Meanwhile, the Eagles will likely be without AJ Brown again and when Brown is out, Hurts seems to only want to throw to Devontae Smith. Their bigger issue though seems to be their defense that gave up a ton of points and yards to the Packers and gave the Falcons offense new life. I am not sure the Saints can sustain this sort of level of success but for now they go marching on.

Saints 34 Eagles 24 but the Saints do punt for the first time.

Must win game?: Ravens @ Cowboys on Fox at 2:25 PM mountain time

I know it is only week 3 but this sort of feels like a must win game for both of these teams. The Ravens were supposed to be Super Bowl contenders but look more like pretenders after starting the season 0-2. They barely lost both games but these losses can build up. More concerning is their lack of identity. In the past they have been dominant on defense and running the football. Now their defense has not been consistently good and while they are doing okay running the ball, they are still working too hard to make Lamar a good passer and not hard enough to win games. Also, it is very obvious of what they are going to do based upon their personnel. If Henry is in, they are likely going to run. If Justice Hill is in, they are definitely passing. 98% of teams who have started 0-3, have missed the playoffs. On the flip side, the Cowboys just got annihilated at home. Similarly, the same thing happened to them last year in the playoffs. They seem to fold when they get behind and seem to lack urgency. They literally didn’t stop the Saints once last week. Falling to 1-2 would be a brutal blow. They were supposed to be a team trying to get over the hump and make it to at least the NFC championship game. If they lose this game, they will become a team that is just trying to make the playoffs. I think both teams have issues that will keep them from winning anything significant. But someone has to win this particular game. I think the Cowboys flaws will be less obvious on Sunday.

Cowboys 27 Ravens 20

The Shake it Goff game: Lions @ Cardinals on Fox at 2:25 PM Mountain time

This is the Lions 3rd time in my 5 for Friday and I am yet to predict them correctly. Jared Goff has been on the struggle bus throwing some bad interceptions and making bad decisions. To make matters worse, both games were at home and inside where Goff is typically significantly better. This is his first time on the road. The Lions are also making some odd decisions including having Goff throw the ball over 50 times last week. It is one thing to throw the ball 50 times, it’s another to do so while having Gibbs and Montgomery at running back. Dan Campbell in true Dan Campbell fashion took the blame for last week’s loss. Well at least I think that is what he was doing. He said the head coach let the team down. He is the head coach and I think he knows that, but I am not 100% sure. On the other side, the Cardinals played the Bills tough and then annihilated what is left of the Rams. They played great and are looking to go 2-0 at home. It really comes down to whether Jared Goff can shake it Goff or will he continue to struggle. Goff is on one of my fantasy teams and I actually face Kyler Murray in two of my four leagues. Since I am apparently terrible at predicting the Lions and could really use Murray to have a lower scoring game, I’ll predict the opposite. Goff continues to struggle and Murray tears it up.

Cardinals 31 Lions 24

Hotlanta leads to hot offense: Chiefs @ Falcons on NBC at 6:20 PM mountain time

The Chiefs head on the road for the first time in their second prime time game of the year. All the talk has been about the penalty and the refs helping the Chiefs. And it is starting to feel like we only play in extremely close games. The Chiefs seem to have issues with bad tackle play, Kelce looking like he is washed and Pat making some terrible decisions. And now to add to the issues Pacheco is out for a few months. On the other side, the Falcons had their get right game last week against the Eagles. They won a nail biter with a rare Kirk Cousins prime time victory. They have a lot of talent and are starting to put it together. The Chiefs have been just awful defending against tight ends. Kyle Pitts is a tight end on two of my fantasy teams. This is all lined up for my fantasy team to finally get a boost from Pitts. So I can only assume this is the week Spags figures out how to stop the tight end. Pat always seems to play well on Sunday night. In other ridiculous statistics, Mahomes is 12-0 in domes. I think with Pacheco out he steps up his game and the offense starts to get hot. Kelce looks like himself again instead of me out there. Rice continues to do his thing and Carson Steele fills in admirably for Pacheco. Kirk plays well but makes a couple of key mistakes and Pat throws 4 touchdowns and finally goes a game without throwing a terrible interception. I’m going to keep predicting that the Chiefs win without it being that close because that has to happen eventually. Hopefully it happens Sunday night.

Chiefs 38 Falcons 24

Be on the look out on Monday for a new segment I am bringing to Fifth-Down and of course my ever important rankings on Tuesday.

Week 2 is in the books and my main takeaway is that no one is that good yet. Also, the injuries are piling up quickly…AJ Brown, Deebo, CMC, Puka, Cooper Kupp, Pacheco and on and on and on. Better check your fantasy football rosters. But for now let’s dive into our weekly rankings.

So Bad they are starting Andy Dalton: Panthers. Their new coach is not wasting anymore time running Bryce Young out there. The number 1 draft pick is going to have to learn from the sideline going forward.

Looked functional but still not good: Giants. They barely lost to the commanders but they looked better than the Panthers. So they got that going for them…which is nice.

A Mile high away from being good: Broncos. I thought the Broncos would be better. Their defense has looked okay. Their offense looks just awful. Bo Nix can’t seem to complete a pass past 3 yards. They head to Tampa next. Ouch.

AFC Suck Division: Titans, Colts and Jaguars. These teams are a combined 0-6 to start the season. All 3 have shown some life on occasion but not enough life to win a game.

Somebody call the Rambulance: Rams. The Rams told the 49ers to hold their beer on the injury front. They are running out of offensive linemen and wide receivers at an alarming rate. Is former Chief Demarcus Robinson about to become their number 1 receiver?

Bearly not the worst: Bears. The only thing worse than Caleb’s play is the play of the offensive line.

September Bengals: They out played the Chiefs but then fell apart in the 4th quarter when Joe Burrow fumbled, Chase threw a temper tantrum, then Burrow took a sack and then they committed an obvious pass interference. Burrow is now 0-5 in week 2 of NFL Season and 1-9 in the first two weeks of every nfl season. I think the Bengals will be fine, but I am not moving them up in the rankings until October.

Boring but not terrible: Browns. After taking a beat down from the cowgirls, the browns bounced back and beat the Jaguars. I still don’t have much confidence in them going forward.

Better than the other teams with rookie quarterbacks: Commanders. They barely beat the Giants but they are more functional than any other team starting a rookie.

Ravens gonna Raven: Ravens found a way to somehow give up a 10 point lead to the Raiders and lose by 3. Ravens are working real hard to make Lamar a great passer. It does not help them win games. They should go back to just running the ball a lot.

Raider didn’t Raider: Tell me you didn’t expect them to give up a big play and have Tucker kick a fg and then the ravens winning in over time. But they didn’t do that. Good for you raiders. In even better news, you play the Panthers next.

Worst 2-0 team ever: Steelers. Their defense is good I think, although hard to tell based upon who they have played. But that offense is not good. But this is what they do. Find a way to win 10 games. They are a 5th of the way there.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha: Cowboys. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Concussed: Dolphins. I’m not going to make fun of Tua for getting yet another concussion. But it certainly puts the Dolphins in a bit of a limbo state.

Still look average: Jets and Patriots. The Jets are ranked ahead of the Dolphins purely because their QB is healthy. Looking average is a compliment for the Patriots. These two play on Thursday. Enjoy.

Bi Polar Birds: Eagles and Falcons. Both are 1-1. Both have looked really good at moments and really bad at moments. Congrats to Kirk for winning a prime time game.

A Better Bird: Cardinals. In the wild, the Eagles and Falcons are far superior to a Cardinal. But on the football field, the Cardinals barely lost to the Bills and crushed a wounded Rams team. This team has spunk and talent and will be in the conversation until Kyler Murray inevitably gets hurt.

No Love, no problem: Packers. They looked solid with Malik Willis under center. Are they as good at throwing without Love? No. Can they be competitive for a few weeks until Love comes back. Yes.

Shake it Goff: Lions. The Lions have been competitive in both games and are 1-1. But something seems off with them. I am not sure why they are throwing the ball 50 times a game when they have 2 stud running backs. Goff has thrown multiple bad interceptions. He needs to shake it off and start to play better.

Undefeated just like we all expected: Vikings, Saints, Seahawks, Bucs and Chargers. I’m still not sure how good any of these teams really are. But they are 2-0 and 63% of teams who start 2-0 make the playoffs.

The 49IRs: CMC is already on IR. Deebo may miss multiple weeks. I told you this is what happens to the 49ers. They are still a solid team but I am not sure how many more injuries they can survive.

The Young and The Restless: Texans. The Texans are tough. they have great skill guys. But they also seem a little testy as they got into multiple skirmishes with the Bears on Sunday night. They are feisty and will be a tough out.

All set to lose in the divisional round: Bills. This is what the Bills do. Start out hot. Struggle in the middle of the season. Finish kind of strong but still with issues that are exposed that will be exploited in the playoffs. Lose in a heartbreaking fashion in the divisional round…repeat.

Our D game is better than your B+ game: Chiefs. They are 2-0 against two contenders and haven’t even played well yet. And no the refs didn’t bail them out. It was clear pass interference. The Bengals imploded and the Ravens missed opportunities. But the bigger concern for the league should be the fact that the Chiefs played poorly yet the games were super tight anyway. That’s why they are still the team to beat.

Tune in Friday for Five for Friday when I give you the rundown on the top 5 games to watch over the weekend.