2024 is in the books but the NFL season isn’t quite over yet. This will be our final ranking of the year of all the NFL teams. Starting next week, I will rank the remaining playoff teams through the post season. In the spirit of the New Year, here is a New Year’s resolution for every NFL team.

32. Browns: Move on from Deshaun Watson. I know they just restructured his contract, so he isn’t going anywhere but not much has gone right for them since signing massage boy to a ridiculous contract. There only success came when Joe Flacco was playing quarterback.

31. Giants: Get rid of anyone who has anything to do with making decisions. This group decided to pay Daniel Jones and not pay Saquon Barkley. That is enough in itself. They also started Danny Devito over Drew Lock. And no one can ruin your chances of getting a high draft pick like Drew Lock.

30. Patriots: Lose to the JV Bills to get the number 1 pick. They can trade that pick for a bounty of tricks or fire their coach and hire Deion and then draft Shedur. I think the latter would be a disaster but it would be more fun than what they have been doing since Tom Brady left.

29. Titans: Sign Sam Darnold to a lucrative contract. Maybe Darnold isn’t that good and is just in a great situation but if he is good, the Titans can win the awful south for years to come.

28. Raiders: Don’t change a thing. You are doing great. Definitely don’t fire your coach or draft a quarterback.

27. Jaguars: Get Trevor Lawrence a haircut. As much as I hate to see those glorious locks go, the Jags need a change or lots of changes.

26. Jets: have someone run the team that isn’t acting like a teenager. Making decisions based upon video games and what a literal teenager thinks might not be the best way to succeed in the NFL.

25. Bears: For the love of all things, higher a good offensive coach!

24. Saints: Let go of everyone and start over. The salary cap is a mess. The team isn’t good. They keep trying to fix something that isn’t fixable. It’s time to start over.

23. Panthers: Draft well and keep doing what you are doing. The Panthers aren’t good but they are getting better. They are exactly where I thought they would be at this time of year. They need a lot more help but they are headed in the right direction but they are the Panthers so I am guessing they will screw it up.

22. Colts: Help Anthony Richardson learn football stuff like passing, staying in the game, and playing through minor injuries.

21. Cardinals: Figure out how to play more than 6 good games a year. The Cardinals are good for a stretch every season. The problem is that stretch is never more than 6 games. Let’s shoot for 7 or 8, Cardinals.

20. Cowboys: Teach Micah Parsons how football works. This week he said they made the Eagles earn everything besides 5 big plays and that the game was close. The Cowboys lost 41-7.

19. 49ers: Finally, and I mean finally…get some new trainers. This team has more guys land on IR every year than the rest of the league combined.

18. Falcons: Start Michael Pennix sooner…like the whole year instead of a still injured Kirk Cousins.

17. Seahawks: Win some games when it matters. The Seahawks have been pretty good all year…just not good enough.

16. Broncos: Beat the JV Chiefs. Win this game and you make the playoffs for the first time since 2015.

15. Dolphins: Get Bubble Wrap for Tua. This team isn’t amazing but they are significantly better with Tua than without.

14. Texans: Get CJ Stroud back from 2023. You remember when he was awesome and the Texans were fun? Those were the days.

13. Bengals: Not suck in September and beat winning teams. They are always so bad in September. And as much as everyone says the Chiefs and everyone else should be so scared of them, it took overtime for them to beat their first team with a winning record this season.

12. Steelers: Find a quarterback. This team wins every year but then loses quickly in the playoffs or just misses the playoffs. Russ does not seem to be the answer.

11. Chargers: Get predicted to win the AFC West and then not win it. Every season…every single season.

10. Bucs: Get some new defensive guys. Baker has this offense cooking (see what I did there? Baker…cooking). But the defense has issues. Time for a refresh on that side of the ball.

9. Packers: Beat good teams. Maybe it will happen in the playoffs. Maybe it won’t happen until next season but this team is close. Unfortunately they have 5 losses to the 3 best teams in their conference.

8. Rams: Find their offense again. The D has been playing really well of late. If the offense comes alive…my prediction of them making the Super Bowl might just come true.

7. Commanders: Make sure Jayden Daniels stays healthy. That dude can play and should get even better but without him they are not good.

6. Ravens: Keep playing defense like they have lately against good teams. The offense is great. The defense has been great lately but they haven’t played the stiffest of competition. Will it translate when they play elite teams?

5. Eagles: Not allow Sirianni make stupid decisions. This team has it all except for a stable coach.

4. Lions: Someone to tell Dan Campbell it is okay not to go for it on 4th down. We are who we are only gets you so far. Sometimes you have to adjust and make an actual smart decision.

3. Bills: Josh Allen finally wins something important. Maybe not this year but one of these years, he’s gonna get it done.

2. Vikings: Go to the Super Bowl because next year you are starting all over again. They aren’t going to pay Sam Darnold so that means you got to get the rookie up to speed. It’s not that they can’t or won’t but it seems like this is their best opportunity.

1. Chiefs: 3 peat baby!!!