Fifth Down

It’s week 18 already! Time has flown by. I know it’s been a few weeks but I wanted to get one more of these in before the playoffs start so here we go! Many of the games have significant playoff implications.

Home Alone vs Let’s Ride: Bengals @ Steelers on ESPN at 6 pm mountain time

The Bengals were left for dead despite their high scoring offense. Now they are just one win away plus a couple of team’s losses from clinching a playoff spot. Kevin McAlister has been playing lights out for most of the year and putting up insane stats. He is very good but I think people are starting to forget that he is throwing to Chase and Higgins. Apparently the entire league and especially the Chiefs is afraid of the Bengals despite the fact that they only have one win against a team with a winning record. They have also lost to the Chiefs the last 3 times they have played but who cares about those facts. They are peaking at a good time even if it is too little too late. The offense is humming and the defense is slightly less crappy then it has been most of the year. Meanwhile Russ and the Steelers have not been playing well. They have lost 3 straight, albeit to really good teams. But Russ looks more like “let’s ride” Russ and a lot less like Seattle Russ. Also, he and George Pickens are not vibing well which isn’t shocking because Russ is kind of annoying and Pickens doesn’t seem to get a long with anyone. One team seems on the rise…the other seems on the fall. Is this just based upon scheduling or is this legit where these teams are at? Let’s all find out by watching the NFL on Saturday night! I think the Steelers kind of suck. I don’t think the Bengals are good but I think they are good enough to win one more and make Sunday interesting.

Bengals 27 Steelers 21

Baker keeps baking!: Saints @ Bucs on Fox at 11 AM mountain time

Next year, I really want the Bucs to get to 13 wins so I can make Baker’s Dozen comments. But for now, this will have to do. You got to admit, Baker is darn likeable. I mean I have never really liked the Bucs but I am actively cheering for them now, simply because Baker makes me laugh. And they are now one win away from clinching the division. They are also 85 yards away from keeping Mike Evans 1,000 yard season streak alive. If you hear the team talk, I am not sure which is actually more important to them. Anyway, this team is pretty fun. I mean they got Baker and a running back named Bucky. I am not sure they are all that good but they are good enough to beat the aints. Especially since they are sending Spencer Rattler out there and Kamara isn’t playing. The Falcons might beat the Panthers but it won’t matter because Baker is going to bake up a victory.

Bucs 38 Aints 13

Tua less Dolphins vs the last ride of Aaron Rodgers: Dolphins @ Jets on Fox at 2:25 PM mountain time

The Dolphins need a win and a Broncos loss in order to get into the playoffs. All they have to do is beat the Jets and Aaron Rodgers who is coming off perhaps his worst game ever. The problem is Tua is still hurt and probably not going to play. The good news is it isn’t Tua’s head this time. It’s his hip or something. The Dolphins are rolling with Tyler Huntley who is better than the garbage QBs they were rolling out earlier in the year but he still isn’t good. Meanwhile, Rodgers very well could be playing his last game as a Jet and maybe his last game ever. This week Rodgers said this has been the best two years of his life. He and I have different perspectives on what makes a year good. Anyway, he is bringing all the good vibes to New Jersey. He surely can’t play as awful as he did last week. I think he brings his A game one last time and the team rallies around him. Meanwhile, the Dolphins with Tua on the road aren’t very good. Without Tua, I don’t like their chances. Give me the enigma for one last win.

Jets 24 Dolphins 17

JV Chiefs vs Desperate Broncos: On CBS at 2:25 PM Mountain time

I won’t be watching this one on TV. Instead, I’ll be attending the game. My wife bought me tickets for the game. I think she did this in order to get rid of me so she can yell and celebrate without any ramifications for our marriage. Savi and I will be bundled up due to the cold weather to cheer on Carson Wentz and whoever else is playing. This will be Savannah’s first NFL game so that is exciting. She did learn that Mahomes wasn’t playing and she was a little disappointed. She wanted to see him throw some crazy pass. I told her we might see that if we show up early enough for warm ups. This game for the Chiefs is simply a game to get out of there as healthy as possible. Meanwhile, the Broncos are trying to make the Playoffs for the first time since 2015. They have the second longest drought in the league to only the disaster that is the Jets. The Broncos have been pretty good all year and really should have beat the Chiefs earlier in the season but instead they got a kick blocked. Think about this, if that kick hadn’t been blocked and they made that FG, the Broncos would already be in the Playoffs and the Chiefs would need to win this game to lock up the 1 seed. This really is a game of inches. Anyway, I think this game will be closer than people think. I mean right now the spread is 10.5. That is an awfully big number. The JV Chiefs don’t suck. I mean they still got to play some guys who normally start. Plus Wentz isn’t terrible. I think the JV Chiefs come out strong and take a lead. After a while, Reid decides to let the 3rd string QB get some snaps and the Broncos mount a comeback. Late in the game, the Broncos are down 1 and Bo Nix leads a nice drive to give them the opportunity to kick a game winner. The blocked kick is mentioned 47 times on the drive to the annoyance of Bronco fans everywhere. This time, the Chiefs don’t block it or really even try to block it and the Broncos kicker kicks them into the playoffs. And Joe Burrow has to stay home alone during the Playoffs.

Broncos 26 Chiefs 24

Winner gets the 1 seed, the Loser gets the Rams: Vikings @ Lions on NBC at 6:20 PM

What a season both these teams have had. The Lions have overcome a plethora of injuries to a 14-2 season. Hard nose Dan Campbell has somehow created a culture of scoring a bunch of points and giving up just slightly less points. Jared Goff has been awesome and the Lions have weapons all over. Throw in offensive coordinator Ben Johnson who is know for his creativity and whatnot and you have a recipe for a fun team. I should like this team. However, I do not. I can’t tell you why but for some reason they rub me the wrong way. I don’t hate them or anything and I can’t pinpoint what my issue is but for some reason, I just don’t like them that much. On the other side you have the Minnesota Vikings. As a kid, the Vikings were my NFC team. I loved Chris Carter and Randy Moss and Jake Reed and Robert Smith on offense and Chris Doleman and John Randle and Joey Browner and others on defense. Then they had the boat incident and I didn’t feel like cheering for them after that. Then my son became a Packers fan so it was even easier not to cheer for the Vikings. But then they got Kirk Cousins. Everyone likes Kirk…especially opposing defenses recently. They moved on from Kirk and brought in Sam Darnold who has been a bust before this year. Granted that was for two teams who are arguably the worst run organizations in the league. Turns out if you give Darnold some weapons and some good coaching he is pretty awesome. He has the opportunity to lead his team to the 1 seed and a first round bye and I am not gonna lie to you, I am cheering for it. Besides, the bye is probably the only way the cursed Vikings make it out of the first round of the playoffs. Both these teams are really freaking good with a ton of talent. Normally, I’d say they were evenly matched but the Lions defense is a mess with all the injuries. However, the Lions are playing at home. This game is a coin flip, but give me the healthier team in a shoot out for the win.

Vikings 38 Lions 30

It’s a new year but I can still brag about my preseason predictions. Sure I was wrong on some stuff but here are 10 things I was absolutely right about.

10. Bills win the division.

The Dolphins and Jets were the popular picks but I stuck with the team with the best quarterback in the division and look who not only won the division but is probably going to win the MVP. I did predict that the Jets would be a wild card but we don’t need to talk about that.

9. The Eagles win the division keeping a 20 year streak alive.

No one has won the division back to back since 2003-2004. The Cowboys won last year but the Eagles took the division again this year. Go ahead and place your bets on the Commanders for the 2025 NFC East champs.

8. Rams win the division.

This one looked bleak at times but due to a weird strength of schedule thing, they have already clinched with a week to go. McVay said screw seeding…we are resting our guys! They will likely host the loser of Detroit and Minnesota…yikes.

7. 3 teams from the NFC north made the playoffs.

Sure I picked the Packers to win the division and sure I bought into the hype train of the Bears and disregarded the Vikings but math is math. I said 3 teams would make it and they did!

6. The 49ers would miss the playoffs and have a bunch of injuries.

Vegas favorite super bowl pick came up way short as I predicted. The 49ers cannot stay healthy for more than one season. This one seemed obvious.

5. How about those Chiefs!!!!

I predicted they would win the division again and they sure did…by like week 11 or 12.

4. Tampa and Atlanta would battle for the South.

I had Atlanta finishing a game ahead of the Bucs and it looks like it will go the other way but we still got a week left to find out. How was I to know that Kirk Cousins was going to play like complete crap for most of the season?

3. Texans win the AFC South

They didn’t win it by playing well but they won it none the less.

2. The Chiefs are the 1 seed.

Not only did I predict that the Chiefs would win the division but I also picked them to be the 1 seed…which they are.

1. Chiefs win the Super Bowl

Okay, this one hasn’t come true…yet. But we all know it’s inevitable.

Tune in tomorrow for the final regular season Five for Friday!

2024 is in the books but the NFL season isn’t quite over yet. This will be our final ranking of the year of all the NFL teams. Starting next week, I will rank the remaining playoff teams through the post season. In the spirit of the New Year, here is a New Year’s resolution for every NFL team.

32. Browns: Move on from Deshaun Watson. I know they just restructured his contract, so he isn’t going anywhere but not much has gone right for them since signing massage boy to a ridiculous contract. There only success came when Joe Flacco was playing quarterback.

31. Giants: Get rid of anyone who has anything to do with making decisions. This group decided to pay Daniel Jones and not pay Saquon Barkley. That is enough in itself. They also started Danny Devito over Drew Lock. And no one can ruin your chances of getting a high draft pick like Drew Lock.

30. Patriots: Lose to the JV Bills to get the number 1 pick. They can trade that pick for a bounty of tricks or fire their coach and hire Deion and then draft Shedur. I think the latter would be a disaster but it would be more fun than what they have been doing since Tom Brady left.

29. Titans: Sign Sam Darnold to a lucrative contract. Maybe Darnold isn’t that good and is just in a great situation but if he is good, the Titans can win the awful south for years to come.

28. Raiders: Don’t change a thing. You are doing great. Definitely don’t fire your coach or draft a quarterback.

27. Jaguars: Get Trevor Lawrence a haircut. As much as I hate to see those glorious locks go, the Jags need a change or lots of changes.

26. Jets: have someone run the team that isn’t acting like a teenager. Making decisions based upon video games and what a literal teenager thinks might not be the best way to succeed in the NFL.

25. Bears: For the love of all things, higher a good offensive coach!

24. Saints: Let go of everyone and start over. The salary cap is a mess. The team isn’t good. They keep trying to fix something that isn’t fixable. It’s time to start over.

23. Panthers: Draft well and keep doing what you are doing. The Panthers aren’t good but they are getting better. They are exactly where I thought they would be at this time of year. They need a lot more help but they are headed in the right direction but they are the Panthers so I am guessing they will screw it up.

22. Colts: Help Anthony Richardson learn football stuff like passing, staying in the game, and playing through minor injuries.

21. Cardinals: Figure out how to play more than 6 good games a year. The Cardinals are good for a stretch every season. The problem is that stretch is never more than 6 games. Let’s shoot for 7 or 8, Cardinals.

20. Cowboys: Teach Micah Parsons how football works. This week he said they made the Eagles earn everything besides 5 big plays and that the game was close. The Cowboys lost 41-7.

19. 49ers: Finally, and I mean finally…get some new trainers. This team has more guys land on IR every year than the rest of the league combined.

18. Falcons: Start Michael Pennix sooner…like the whole year instead of a still injured Kirk Cousins.

17. Seahawks: Win some games when it matters. The Seahawks have been pretty good all year…just not good enough.

16. Broncos: Beat the JV Chiefs. Win this game and you make the playoffs for the first time since 2015.

15. Dolphins: Get Bubble Wrap for Tua. This team isn’t amazing but they are significantly better with Tua than without.

14. Texans: Get CJ Stroud back from 2023. You remember when he was awesome and the Texans were fun? Those were the days.

13. Bengals: Not suck in September and beat winning teams. They are always so bad in September. And as much as everyone says the Chiefs and everyone else should be so scared of them, it took overtime for them to beat their first team with a winning record this season.

12. Steelers: Find a quarterback. This team wins every year but then loses quickly in the playoffs or just misses the playoffs. Russ does not seem to be the answer.

11. Chargers: Get predicted to win the AFC West and then not win it. Every season…every single season.

10. Bucs: Get some new defensive guys. Baker has this offense cooking (see what I did there? Baker…cooking). But the defense has issues. Time for a refresh on that side of the ball.

9. Packers: Beat good teams. Maybe it will happen in the playoffs. Maybe it won’t happen until next season but this team is close. Unfortunately they have 5 losses to the 3 best teams in their conference.

8. Rams: Find their offense again. The D has been playing really well of late. If the offense comes alive…my prediction of them making the Super Bowl might just come true.

7. Commanders: Make sure Jayden Daniels stays healthy. That dude can play and should get even better but without him they are not good.

6. Ravens: Keep playing defense like they have lately against good teams. The offense is great. The defense has been great lately but they haven’t played the stiffest of competition. Will it translate when they play elite teams?

5. Eagles: Not allow Sirianni make stupid decisions. This team has it all except for a stable coach.

4. Lions: Someone to tell Dan Campbell it is okay not to go for it on 4th down. We are who we are only gets you so far. Sometimes you have to adjust and make an actual smart decision.

3. Bills: Josh Allen finally wins something important. Maybe not this year but one of these years, he’s gonna get it done.

2. Vikings: Go to the Super Bowl because next year you are starting all over again. They aren’t going to pay Sam Darnold so that means you got to get the rookie up to speed. It’s not that they can’t or won’t but it seems like this is their best opportunity.

1. Chiefs: 3 peat baby!!!

It’s Christmas Eve and tonight Santa will be dropping off all gifts to all the good boys and girls. With that in mind, I rank all 32 teams with a gift for each of them, even the ones that haven’t been good like the Raiders.

32. Giants: the number 1 draft pick. They will probably screw it up but at least they would get a shot at it.

31. Jaguars: Doug Pederson from 3 years ago. Seriously, what happened to this guy?

30. Raiders: Their head coach keeping his job. Wait, that would be a gift for the rest of the league. How about a quarterback then.

29. Titans: player toughness. Just kidding. They need a quarterback too.

28. Browns: Deshaun Watson to retire so they can move on with their lives past this disaster.

27. Bears: an offensive minded coach. If they are going to be bad, they could at least be fun.

26. Saints: A larger salary cap…a much larger salary cap. This team is a financial disaster.

25. Patriots: Drake Maye to be legit. He looks pretty good so far but so did Mac Jones his rookie year.

24. Jets: An owner who doesn’t make decisions based upon Madden rankings.

23. Panthers: To keep things rolling into 2025. The Panthers have turned into a decent team.

22. Cardinals: To play two good halves of a season…in the same season.

21. 49ers: New trainers. How is this team decimated with injuries every other year?

20. Cowboys: An owner who actually wants to win instead of being the center of attraction.

19. Colts: Anthony Richardson to get better at passing and staying in the game when he is tired.

18. Dolphins: The same thing I wish for every game for the Dolphins, Tua to not die.

17. Bengals: To get their crap together before week 5 next year. Every year they do the same things. Maybe they should mix it up and win a game before October.

16. Falcons: To go back in time and bench Kirk Cousins sooner.

15. Seahawks: To be good on defense and offense at the same time. One of these days, they will put it all together.

14. Texans: To not lose any more receivers to injury. Their receiving room must use the same trainers as the 49ers.

13. Bucs: Some defensive guys to go with their awesome offense.

12. Broncos: A playoff birth for the first time since 2015. Only the Jets have a longer drought in the league but they can snap that with a win on Saturday.

11. Chargers: Justin Herbert to win a game that matters.

10. Rams: To combine the offense from a couple of weeks ago with the defense from the last two weeks.

9. Commanders: Jayden Daniels to stay healthy the rest of the year and beyond. He has a great future if he can stay on the field.

8. Steelers: Russ to play like Russ from 5 years ago for the next 5 games.

7. Ravens: Play well in consecutive games…preferably in the playoffs.

6. Packers: Jordan Love to continue not to turn the ball over. If he plays smart this team can beat anybody.

5. Eagles: For Jalen Hurts to get through concussion protocol quickly. Kenny Pickett is not good.

4. Bills: To play better defense. We all know what Allen can do but he can’t play linebacker or safety so that got to figure this thing out.

3. Vikings: For Sam Darnold to keep playing like…Sam Darnold? He is playing great…can he keep it going?

2. Lions: No more defensive injuries. Pretty soon they are going to have to give me a call to fill a roster spot.

1.Chiefs: That 3 peat, baby!

And here are 5 gifts for us NFL fans:

1. The first round of the NFL playoffs to be more competitive than the first round of the College Football Playoffs. That was atrocious.
2. The Broncos to win on Saturday. It will make my wife happy and me happy because she is happy and the Bengals will be eliminated.
3. No key injuries down the stretch. We got a lot of competitive teams in the hunt. We want as many healthy guys headed into the playoffs as possible because its going to be an awesome ride to the Super Bowl.
4. The Chiefs to win another game in some odd and ridiculous way. It’s entertaining during the game and entertaining after the game when all non Chiefs fans lose their minds.
5. History to be made. If the Chiefs 3 peat that would be history which is what I am cheering for. But if they don’t, let’s crown a champion that has never been crowned. I’m looking at you, Bills, Lions and Vikings.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season with your friends and family.

We have wrapped up week 14 and now there are just 4 weeks left of the season. Also, for many of us it is the last week of the regular season for our fantasy teams. I have 4 and two are going great and two are going poorly. But hey, 2 out of 4 isn’t bad. Anyway, besides being Fantasy Football season it is also Christmas season. In the spirit of Christmas, I rank the teams this week based upon Christmas Movies and rank the Christmas movies as well.

Krampus: Giants

I just watched this movie and it is a Christmas horror movie. And it is indeed horrific. While I was surprised at some of the people in the movie that is the end of the excitement for this movie. The Giants are so horrifically bad that a fan paid to fly a plane over the stadium to request that they turn it around. Also, there is a rumor that a Giants player paid an only fans girl to flash the other team to distract them. This is how bad the Giants are. They are so bad that they are barely a football team.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas: Raiders

This movie stars Jonathan Taylor Thomas of Home Alone fame. I haven’t seen this movie in a very long time. I think the only time I actually saw this was on a Young Life weekend trip. One of my Young Life kids, Jason who is still a great friend to this day was on the trip and refused to going on any other weekend trips in the future based upon on how bad the movie was. The Raiders are equally bad and aren’t getting better anytime soon.

Jingle All the Way: Patriots, Titans, and Jags

Jingle All the Way is a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger where he plays a terrible father that forgets to get the one toy he is supposed to get for his son. He desperately searches the city for the toy and gets in fights with Sinbad. He also tries to steal the toy from his creepy neighbor. This is a mess of a movie but it is a Christmas movie. These teams are technically football teams but they are all a mess and just like when Jingle All the Way is on, I am just hoping for the end of these teams seasons.

It’s a Wonderful Life: Jets

This supposed great movie is long, painful, depressing and overrated. Just like the Jets and their season.

Fred Claus: Browns and Panthers

Fred Claus is a poorly done, illogical film with lots of plot holes and bad story writing. But I’m not gonna lie I find it entertaining and fun. Both the Browns and Panthers are not good, poorly organized but they are entertaining.

White Christmas: Dallas Cowboys

White Christmas was the quintessential Christmas movie many, many years ago and not so much anymore. Just like the Dallas Cowboys were a great team many, many years ago.

Polar Express: Saints and Bears

I’m not sure how I feel about the Polar Express. There is something odd about a bunch of kids on a train without adult supervision. But I thought these teams were fitting for this movie because they don’t have supervision either after firing their coaches. And just like the train ride, I can’t wait for these teams seasons to be over.

Home Alone 2: Bengals

Home Alone is entertaining but over the top ridiculous in some ways. I mean how bad are these parents? You literally put yourself in the same situation two years in a row. I don’t think they are even fit to be parents. And then when Marv and Harry chase after Kevin they get tortured in new and even more ridiculous ways. I mean they wouldn’t have survived the first battle against Kevin but this second round is all sorts of brutal. I’m not one to show sympathy for the Bengals but this season has been painfully bad despite some outstanding play by Burrow and Chase. But their owner and GM are like the parents in the movie. They make the same mistakes over and over again abandoning their players. Plus, Joe Burrow looks like Kevin so I had to use a Home Alone movie. But I love the first movie so I obviously couldn’t use that one.

Family Man: 49ers and Dolphins

Family Man is a movie about a guy who has it all but his life gets flipped upside down when he runs into a guy who is some sort of spirit or something and he sends him into a different reality where he didn’t dump his college girlfriend and is now married to her and has some kids and sells tires. The 49ers and Dolphins started the year with big aspirations but then their seasons got flipped upside down with injuries and their season turned into something they did not expect. But the difference is there is no happy ending for their seasons.

Muppets Christmas Carol: Cardinals, Falcons and Colts

I love the Muppets Christmas Carol. One of my favorite parts of the movie is how Michael Caine plays the whole thing completely straight despite being surrounded by Muppets. While it is awesome it does make the whole movie a little uneven like the two things don’t quite go together. These teams seasons have all been uneven as well and they have all been visited by the ghosts of turnovers, bad losses and the Colts got visited by the Ghost of Christmas past also known as Joe Flacco.

Scrooged: Commanders

Scrooged is an okay movie made great by the always entertaining and exceptionally great Bill Murray. I don’t think the Commanders are really that good but Jayden Daniels makes them entertaining and fun and takes a pretty good team and makes them a solid playoff contender.

Die Hard: Rams and Bucs

I know some will debate that Die Hard is a Christmas Movie but it happens on Christmas Eve and their is Christmas music throughout and many Christmas references including the great line, “Now I have a machine gun, ho, ho, ho.” If that doesn’t say Christmas, I don’t know what does. Anyway, this movie is amazing with John McClane saving the day. Both these teams have had their struggles with their own terrorists in the building only their terrorists have been injuries. But their John McClane can still come to the rescue and lead their teams to playoff success. Matthew Stafford is playing great ball and you all know I love me some Baker! Lookout for these two teams in the playoffs if they win their divisions. Their records might not be great but if they yell yippee Kaya…look out.

The Santa Clause: Texans

We watch this every year. It’s a Christmas staple. It’s not great. It’s not bad. It’s just sort of okay with some really good parts and some not so good parts. But you can count on it at Christmas. Just like you can count on the Texans this year being in the playoffs. They aren’t great. They aren’t bad. They sometimes look good and sometimes look bad. But they play in the AFC south so they will be in the tourney.

Miracle on 34th Street: Chargers and Seahawks

This is the old movie that is actually good. It’s a little slow at parts and never extremely exciting but just a good solid story with a happy conclusion. It’s not a flashy movie but one you can count on. The Chargers and Seahawks aren’t flashy either. They are just solid teams that will likely make the playoffs and lose a close game in the first round.

Love Actually: Broncos

Every Christmas I throw this on because my wife loves it. There are many flaws to the movie that ignore out of true love. While there are a couple good love stories in there in the midst of some just awful stories that include but are not limited to; Hans Gruber attempting to cheat on his wife and getting caught. A loser British guy coming to America and having a sex fest with some American women. And my personal least favorite, Rick from the Walking Dead being the worst best man ever because he is love with his best friend’s wife and then inappropriately goes and tells her that he loves her with some signs. To add to the creep factor, I found out today that Kiera Knightly was only 17 years old when she filmed that and shouldn’t be married to anyone. Gross. Anyway, I do like the funny musician guy and the story of the prime minister and the writer guy’s love stories are pretty good despite being wildly inappropriate. What does this have to do with the Broncos? I don’t know, but I watch this because I love my wife and I watch the Broncos because I love my wife so there’s your connection. Also, the Broncos are pretty good.

Christmas Story: Ravens

Christmas Story is a classic must watch every year. Or at least that is what the world tells us. I remember watching it as a kid in school and I hated it. I actually like it more now as an adult although I still can’t watch when that kid gets his tongue stuck on the ice pole. It’s a pretty good movie actually. The problem is that is on stop and kind of overrated. The Ravens have been hyped up all year and even when they are losing we are supposed to believe they are one of the top teams. They are pretty good but they aren’t great so let’s stop pretending like they are.

The Grinch: Packers

There has been a few renditions of the Grinch story over the years. This most recent one in cartoon form with Dr. Strange voicing the grinch is one of my favorites. It is fun and light hearted but still stays true to the original story and hey who doesn’t think a screaming goat isn’t funny. The Packers are fun and entertaining. I’m not sure how good they really are but I like to watch them and if they lose, my son turns into a grinch.

Christmas Chronicles: Vikings

If you haven’t watched this newer classic on Netflix then you are missing out. This a fun and entertaining adventure that tugs at the heart and is funny throughout. And Kurt Russell as Santa Claus…I bet your thinking that can’t work but it absolutely does. It has become one of our favorite Christmas movies at the Campbell house. Just like Kurt as Santa, it doesn’t seem like it should work for Sam Darnold to be awesome with the Vikings but he is. This team is legit and if they weren’t the Vikings, I’d think that they could make it to the Super Bowl.

Gremlins: Eagles

We watched Gremlins recently. It’s ridiculous and dumb and cheesy but darn is it fun and because it is ridiculous it is funny too. It’s a wonderful mess of a movie involving cute things that become ugly real quick. In case you haven’t seen it in a while, there are just three rules from keeping that from happening. Keep them out of the sunlight, don’t expose them to water and don’t feed them after midnight. It’s an 80s movie so of course all 3 of those things quickly happen. The Eagles can be fun despite their often ridiculous behavior. Nick Siranni is the leader of the pack that often makes terrible decisions and yells at his own fans. The Eagles truly are the team that can turn good things into bad things. AJ Brown is now upset because he isn’t getting the ball enough during the 9 game win streak. They just can’t have nice things and I am sure they will gremlin this thing up sooner rather than later.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas: Steelers

The original movie is a tried and true Christmas classic. You can’t have Christmas with watching this. It’s short but great and the grinch is an incredible character. The Steelers have been having winning seasons since basically this classic first aired. They are a little grumpy but just like you can’t have Christmas without the grinch, you seldom have the playoffs without the Steelers. And just like the grinch is short, the Steelers time in the playoffs is usually pretty short too.

Home Alone: Bills

Home Alone is a great movie that we kick off the Christmas season every year with on Thanksgiving night. Even though it is ridiculous to not realize you are missing a kid until you are halfway across the world, it sets up a wonderful and funny plot. McCauley Culkin is amazing in it. The robbers are great. The supporting cast is wonderful and John Candy shows up for one of the best cameos ever. Sure the end is ridiculous. I mean, how does he set up all those traps in less than an hour? Also, the robbers would have died about halfway through the traps. But it makes for good slapstick humor and you can’t beat that. The Bills are fun and lovable and everyone cheers for them and wants them to win. They are an NFL classic. And their season always ends in some ridiculous way too. The problem is that it never ends with a happy ending. On a side note, anyone else notice that the whole family comes home, celebrates Kevin for about a minute and a half and then they all just walk away and ignore him again? If that was my family, I’d want them to disappear too.

Elf: Lions

Elf is one of my favorite Christmas movies. Will Ferrell is amazing and Bob Newhart is so good as Papa Elf. It is so well casted and executed. When Will Ferrell gets hit by the Taxi and then pops back up, I laugh so hard, I usually cry. It’s got heart and is a strong humorous movie through out. The Lions are a great team. Right now they are probably the best team. They have heart. The execute exceptionally well. They are great across the board and don’t have any glaring weaknesses. So why aren’t they number 1. It’s simple, with the game on the line, who do you trust? Dan Campbell and Jared Goff or Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes?

Christmas Vacation: Chiefs

This is the best Christmas movie ever. It has no weaknesses. A Dad trying to pull off a ridiculously perfect Christmas. Parents and in laws that are polar opposites. A wife trying to hold it all together. Two kids trying to avoid everyone. Hilarity ensues throughout. And then Cousin Eddie shows up. The interaction with the neighbors and really just from beginning to end it is smart funny at times, ridiculous funny at times and then just physical humor at times. It’s an exceptional perfect Christmas movie even though the ending is ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous endings…The Chiefs know no bounds. Toe just out of bounds, late PI call, overtime coin toss win, blocked kick, fumbled snap by the opponent to lose the game, and now the doink for the division. This team is ridiculously perfect. Everyone says their luck will run out. What if it doesn’t? I sort of don’t think it will. You can ask my family, I literally was laughing out loud at the end of this week’s game. I think there are 4 or 5 teams that are probably better than them right now. But do I think any of them will beat the Chiefs with everything on the line? I do not. And that is why they are the best.

It’s time for 5 for Friday! I’m a day late but I don’t get paid to do this so you will get over it. It’s already week 14 and 6 teams are on bye but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any games to watch this weekend. But it will be stress free Sunday afternoon. The Packers already lost, the Broncos are on bye and the Chiefs don’t play until the night. So let’s dive into the action.

Much Watch Winston: Browns @ Steelers on CBS at 11 AM mountain time

If Jameis Winston is playing then I am watching. The often boring Browns and Steelers just got real exciting. I haven’t checked the weather but maybe we will have another snow game and George Pickens can blame the loss on the elements that favor the Browns for some unknown reason. We know Winston is going to throw lots of touchdowns. We just don’t know which team he is going to throw them to. If his prayers are answered it then it will be the Browns. But I am not sure how important delivering Winston from pick sixes is to Jesus. I mean he gets a lot of requests and I am not sure a bad football player playing poorly is high on the priority list. Meanwhile, the Steelers are slightly less boring than usual at least when they play the Bengals and put up a bunch of points. I am still waiting for a clever catch phrase from Russ. “We are here to steel a victory and your hearts”. “Playing us must be the Pitts…burgh.” But I’ve got nothing from him yet. Until I do, I refuse to cheer for him. Winston will surely give some rousing speeches as well as pre, mid and post game interviews. Unfortunately being fun and giving good speeches does not equal wins. I don’t see the Steelers going 0-2 against the Browns so give me Russ and the gang in this one but I’ll be cheering for Winston and his pick sixes to be delivered and deliver a victory.

Steelers 31 Browns 20

Kirk’s return home: Falcons @ Vikings on Fox at 11 AM mountain time

Kirk spent several years playing pretty good football in Minnesota. He hopes that a return back will help him play pretty good football again because he has been awful this year except when he is playing the Bucs. He threw 4 interceptions last week and doesn’t seem to be able to move. People are beginning to say they should put in the rookie and bench Kirk. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for quarterback whose team is currently leading their division. They have lost 3 in a row and have not looked great. To make matters worse for Kirk, the guy who took his place who had been awful everywhere is all of the sudden awesome and tearing it up with the coaches and players that used to make Kirk look good. Perhaps, just maybe neither of them were or are that good and instead Kevin O’Connell is just a really good coach and throwing to Justin Jefferson makes things a lot easier. Regardless this should be a good game. The Vikings are playing well especially defensively. But they have also escaped some close ones. This is an 11 am road game so Kirk should play pretty well. The Vikings are clearly better and the Falcons are desperate for a win. Maybe I am just a softy for good natured Kirk but I think he pulls the upset.

Falcons 27 Vikings 20

Battle of the Western Birds: Seahawks @ Cardinals on CBS at 2:05 PM Mountain time

The Seahawks are one game ahead of the Cardinals in the lead of the NFC West just like everyone expected. Most assumed the 49ers were going to win it again. But smart people like me assumed their injury woes would return and picked the Rams. The Rams are just a game out and have a shot but it would be helpful to them if the Cardinals won. I did pick the Seahawks to make the playoffs as a wild card and that could still happen but is unlikely because of the Commanders record and the NFC North being so good. The Cardinals came out of nowhere and I did not expect them to be good but they have been pretty solid. They almost beat the Vikings last week but almost doesn’t count when you are trying to win a division. Both teams have been up and down and last time they played it wasn’t a very exciting game as the Seahawks won 16-6. Hopefully this one will be a little more entertaining. I’ll be cheering for James Conner and Kenneth Walker since I have both of them on a fantasy team. Kyler Murray is trying to overcome his shortness and Geno Smith is trying to overcome being Geno Smith to try and win the division. If Seattle wins they don’t clinch but it could be tough for anyone to catch them. This seems like a division that someone is going to win at 9-8 and will go down to the wire. So give me the Cardinals in a little more high scoring game this time.

Cardinals 27 Seahawks 24

The AFC West title game: Chargers @ Chiefs on NBC at 6:20 PM mountain time

Okay so only the Chiefs have a chance at clinching the AFC West but only the Chargers really have a shot to catch the Chiefs. The Broncos are right there and already have two division losses. The Chiefs have a big lead because of overall record and can wrap things up. The Chargers have been playing better ball this year by not making all the dumb mistakes they made last year. They are the classic pretty good team that beats everyone they should and loses to everyone they should. There is nothing wrong with that in this stage of the Harbaugh era. Also, does something seem off with Jim Harbaugh like he isn’t all there? Dude seems like he aged 15 years in the last 2. Watching his press conferences is a little like watching Biden press conferences. But whatever is going on with him, it’s working as the Chargers are much improved. According to the Sports media world, the Chiefs are terrible and the worst 11-1 team in history and will lose in the first round of the playoffs. Of course most of the people saying that spent most of their careers as coaches and players not making the playoffs but hey they have been around football their whole lives so that makes them an expert. I’ve been around pizza my whole life, that doesn’t make me an expert on Italy. The Chiefs do look a bit flawed but which Chiefs team do you feel better about in week 14? This year’s team or last year’s team? I feel significantly better about this year’s team. The new guy is going to start at left tackle and he can’t possibly be worse. They will take the training wheels off Pacheco this week. Kareem Hunt is a great story and he helped one of my fantasy teams win a bunch of games when my other players got injured but he is slowing down. They should still use him in short yardage and goal line situations but I think Pacheco has a big game on Sunday night. Mahomes has been playing well and has just been a hair off on some deep balls that I think he will hit now that he is not scared for his life of getting blasted by whoever is rushing against the left tackle. I think we not only win but win big…well big for the us.

Chiefs 31 Chargers 20

The elimination game of teams I hate: Bengals @ Cowboys on ESPN at 6:15 pm Monday night

Both these teams are barely hanging on to playoff relevancy. It has mostly to do with the rest of their respected conferences being just awful after the first 7 to 8 teams. But they are both technically in it. The Bengals average like 50 points a game but unfortunately for Bengals fans their defense gives up 55 points a game. The Cowboys have been a little bit more up and down besides when they play at home and get trounced by every team that isn’t starting Drew Lock at quarterback. Cooper Rush hasn’t been terrible and that Bengals defense will surely make him look like Joe Burrow in this one. This should be a high scoring affair which is partially why it made my list this week. But also no matter who loses we all win. If the Cowboys lose again at home it is hilarious and if the Bengals lose again then they are 4-9 and officially done. And it is always fun when the self proclaimed “team to beat” always gets beat. The hardest part is predicting who will win because both of these teams have been so awful at winning this year. I’ll go with the Bengals since the Cowboys are at home. And Joe Burrow’s bad luck has to run out at some point…right? Let’s hope not but I think it does.

Bengals 107 Cowboys 102

The Lions play the Packers tonight. I’ll be cheering for the Packers because my son is a huge fan of the Pack and he is very fussy when they lose. So Go Pack Go. But the Lions are finally good and like legitimately good for the first time in my life. So I thought it would be fun to remember some of those Lions you likely forgot.

10. Jeff Campbell

Yes that is right, they had a guy named Jeff Campbell. He played wide receiver for 3 or 4 years in the early 90s. The best part of his game was that he was on Tecmo Super Bowl so I could play with the Lions and see my name on the game running around. Of course I rarely got to play because I didn’t have video games as a kid. So I only got to play when I went to a friend’s house and I was always get crushed because they played all the time and I didn’t. That wasn’t as bad as when we played super mario brothers though and my turn took 3 minutes and their turn took an hour and half. Anyway, I am sure my lack of playing video games allowed me to use my imagination and become such a great writer. So your welcome and you should thank my parents.

9. Rodney Peete

Rodney was an All-American at USC and then was drafted by the Lions. He did quite well at handing off Barry Sanders. He also married Holly Robinson of 21st Jump Street and hanging with Mr. Cooper fame and she is also easy on the eyes.

8. Andre Ware

Ware was a Heisman winner and the idea was to pair him with another Heisman winner Barry Sanders. The problem was that Ware barely saw the field. Ware threw a whopping 161 passes in his career.

7. Herman Moore

Herman was Calvin Johnson before it was cool to be Calvin Johnson. Moore absolutely tore it up in the NFL. He had over 100 receptions 3 years in a row including 123 in 1995 including 14 touchdowns. And he didn’t have Matthew Stafford throwing to him, he had Rodney Peete and Erik Kramer throwing to him. And also the next guy on the list.

6. Scott Mitchell

Scott Mitchell came in for Dan Marino when he got hurt and played really well for 4 or 5 games. So the Lions decided to give him a bunch of money to be their starter. Mitchell got hurt his first year with Detroit. The second year he played pretty well and then after that he threw about as many interceptions as touchdowns. The Lions wanted their money back.

5. Dan Orlovsky

Dan only started 7 games and now is famous for his solid takes on ESPN. But he makes the list for famously running out of the back of the end zone for no apparent reason.

4. Joey Harrington

The Lions picked Joey 3rd overall and their bad luck with quarterbacks continued as he was not good. He started for a few years until the Lions gave up on him and then he bounced around the league for a while. He seems like a pretty good guy. He was not a pretty good quarterback.

3. Bennie Blades

Bennie was a baller. He could cover and he could tackle. He was a physical safety who was part of the crazy good teams of the University of Miami. He didn’t win nearly as much with the Lions but it wasn’t his fault. Also, as a side note, his brother Brian played receiver for the Seahawks.

2. Chris Spielman

Spielman was a very good linebacker that was a force to be reckoned with. He was often a league leader in tackles. He was also a pretty terrible commentator for Fox for a while. Now he works in the Lions office and now finally gets to be a part of the Lions winning some games.

1. Mel Gray

Gray was quite the return man. He returned 9 kicks for touchdowns and he was named to the all 1990s team. He also played at Coffeyville Community College and shared the backfield with Mike Rozier who went on to play at Nebraska and in the pros with the Houston Oilers. He gets to be number 1 because my Dad wrote 2 books about the Coffeyville football program and Mel gets mentioned in there. I don’t remember if he is in volume 1 or 2 or why there is two volumes but copies are available if you are interested.

Tune into tomorrow for 5 for Friday!

Another week down and the playoff picture is starting to work itself out. As far as I am concerned the teams in the AFC have already been decided. The only question is the order. 4 teams are already eliminated from playoff contention but that won’t stop me from ridiculing them here. Let’s dive in.

So bad they are starting Drew Lock: Giants

I love Drew Lock as much as anyone but he is not good and the Giants are worse. At least he throws it to Malik Nabers.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

Only they could screw up the opportunity to beat the Chiefs in the way they did.

Mac attack: Jaguars

Doug Pederson finally got Trevor Lawrence back from injury and thought it would be a good idea to run some design runs with him. It did not go well and neither is the Jags season. It’s Mac Jones time which is good news for no one except whatever defense they are playing.

The best of the eliminated: Patriots

They aren’t good but they are significantly better than the other 3 teams which doesn’t say a lot.

How are they not eliminated?: Jets, Panthers, Browns and Titans

The Jets ran out of people to fire but they got a lot of fans who want to quit. The Panthers probably still have a real shot to win their division and are playing better but 3-9 is still 3-9. The Titans played their one good game for the year two weeks ago. The league is better with Jamies Winston playing in it as long as he isn’t playing for your team.

They are back!: Cowboys

They upset the commanders and then beat the Giants led by Drew Lock. Micah Parsons says they are back. He is mistaken. They still suck.

The team to beat that everyone beats: Bengals

You remember when Jamar Chase said they were the team to beat going into the Chiefs game? And since then pretty much everyone has beat them. this quote is aging about as well as the burrowhead comments. Since that statement the Bengals are 13-17. Ouch.

Playing hard but it doesn’t make it good: Bears and Saints

There is no quit in these teams…except at the end of games when it matters the most. The Bears are competing with the Jets to see who can fire the most people in one season.

Good as long as it isn’t below 40: Dolphins

Everyone said they were going to make a run, etc. I said I was holding out a verdict until after they played the Packers. The verdict is in. They will be doing the same thing I am doing for the playoffs.

Not good but somehow still very much in the playoff race: Colts

The Colts are slightly better than half the teams in the AFC and a lot worse than the 7 good teams in the AFC. But hey, the still have a mathematical shot.

Someone has to win the NFC South: Bucs and Falcons

Bucs haven’t looked the same since Chris Godwin got hurt but my money is still on Baker and the gang to get it done. What’s worse than Kirk Cousins when it matters most? Kirk Cousins coming off an injury when it matters most.

Someone has to win the NFC West: Seahawks, Rams, Cardinals and 49ers

The 49ers are running out of players as I predicted they would. The Cardinals are playing hard but not winning. The Rams should be good but aren’t for some reason. The Seahawks have the inside track but they are the Seahawks so they will probably screw it up somehow.

Not good but their division is worse: Texans

They should be good but for some reason they are not. But they play in the AFC south so they get to host a playoff game.

Good teams that will probably lose in the first round of the playoffs: Broncos, Chargers, Ravens, Commanders

I think these teams are solid. But I don’t see any of them making it to far in the playoffs. Whichever AFC team gets to play the Texans will probably win but then they will likely have to go to Buffalo or KC. The Chargers and Broncos are good but not good enough to beat anyone but the Texans. The Ravens usually beat themselves so they won’t make it far either. The Commanders are a fun story but I think their ceiling is one and done.

Trust Russ?: Steelers

They are well coached and have a winning season for the 303rd year in a row. But do we trust Russ when it matters most? I do not.

Could go on a run and go to the Super Bowl if Sam Darnold wasn’t their quarterback: Vikings

They got all the pieces and Darnold is playing well but I just cannot imagine a scenario where Darnold wins two or three playoff games in a row.

Could on a run and go to the Super Bowl if Jordan Love doesn’t do anything dumb: Packers

As long as he doesn’t turn the ball over, they are tough to beat.

Can win the Super Bowl: Chiefs, Eagles, Lions, Bills

The Chiefs are flawed but they are still the Chiefs. They are also helped by the fact that the Lions can’t have nice things, the Bills can’t have nice things in the post season and the Eagles are coached by Nick Siranni. But I will not be surprised if any of these teams win it. I will be surprised if none of them win it.

Ongoing Super Bowl Prediction: Chiefs over Eagles

It’s Black Friday. Do people still wake up super early to get deals? Is that still a thing? It’s something I have never done but with all the online black Friday it seems like even less necessary. Also, are they really deals? Or do they just put a slash through a higher price than normal and make it look like a deal? I worked at Kohls for a while in college. They had a sale like every weekend. But the secret was that their prices were higher than anyone else’s but the sale brought them down to normal prices. But people came pouring in to buy crap at the same price they could get it anywhere else the rest of the week. Do your homework people…don’t fall for the “Kohl’s Trick”. Anyway, there is football this weekend including today. Let’s dive in!

Black Friday Rivalry: Raiders @ Chiefs on Amazon at 1 pm Mountain time

The Chiefs start one of the odder stretches of NFL scheduling today. They play the Raiders today on a Friday. Then they play the Chargers next Sunday night. Then they play 3 games in 10 days on Sunday, Saturday and Wednesday. Amazingly with the Dolphins losing last night, the Chiefs can be the first team to clinch a playoff spot with a win today. The Raiders on the other hand aren’t officially eliminated but they are pretty much officially eliminated. They are the worst team in the AFC and have struggled all year. Even their coach said that this is the worst team playing the best team and although I am sure it is probably tongue in cheek and he was probably trying to motivate his team, he still isn’t wrong. However, it is the Chiefs so we only play close games so obviously this will be stressful until the end. Our defense has not been the same the last few weeks, while our offense has improved. Why can’t both sides of the ball be good at the same time? Pat has played especially well the last five games besides a dumb interception early on in the Bills game. As the offense finds it’s groove this in theory should be a good game for the defense to get back on track. The Raiders are going back to Aiden O’Connell who is not good. They aren’t very good at running the ball. Jakobi Myers I’m sure will make some plays and everyone’s tight ends are always open against us but in theory this should be a blowout. But Communism works in theory. So buckle up for another stressful victory from the Chiefs.

Chiefs 27 Raiders 20

Let’s Ride the Bengals out of playoff contention: Steelers @ Bengals on CBS at 11 AM mountain time

The Steelers are coming off a tough loss to the Browns on Thursday night. The Bengals did not lose last week because they were on a bye. The Bengals have brought back ping pong tables to solve their losing problem. It brings competition and helps guys talk to each other who don’t normally talk to each other. These are real quotes. You know you are desperate when you are hoping ping pong helps you win football games. The Bengals offense has been playing well with Joe Burrow and Jamarr Chase putting up crazy stats. However, the one stat they are still struggling with is wins. They face a very good Steelers defense that has played well all year. The Steelers offense is more up and down and has been mostly down the last two weeks. Russ looks more like Denver Russ than Seattle Russ lately. And George Pickens is more concerned about getting in fights than catching hail mary’s and he also has some ridiculous quotes blaming the loss to the Browns on the weather. Pittsburgh is 2 hours from Cleveland. You have the same weather, bro. Pickens says and does lots of dumb things. Pickens is like Jamarr Chase, if Jamarr Chase wasn’t good. All that to be said, I don’t trust the Bengals defense at all and I think the Steelers will take the fact that they are 3 point underdogs personally. The Steelers win a close one putting the final nail in the Bengals coffin.

Steelers 24 Bengals 20

Battle of the East Coast Birds: Eagles @ Ravens on CBS at 2:25 PM moutain time

This should be the best game of the day so one of these teams will probably blow the other one out. These teams seem evenly matched in so many areas. They both have mobile quarterbacks who run for touchdowns. They both have dynamic running backs who are leading their conferences in rushing yards. They both have somewhat annoying coaches who make odd decisions. The X-factor is Lamar’s ridiculous record against the NFC. He is 23-3 which sounds like a Mahomes stat. The Eagles have two things the Ravens don’t though. A top wide receiver in AJ Brown and a good defense. The Ravens D has been better the last couple of weeks against the Steelers and Chargers. However, neither of those teams have the dynamic playmakers that the Eagles do. This should be a back and forth game that will likely be ruined by something dumb that Nick Sirianni does. But if he stays out of the way, I think it will be the Eagles who soar the highest handing Lamar a rare NFC loss.

Eagles 31 Ravens 24

It’s gonna be Purdy tough to win: 49ers @ Bills on NBC at 6:20 PM mountain time

The 49ers are in trouble. They are 5-6 and just one game back in the NFC west standings but they are not looking good. If Purdy doesn’t play, I think you can firmly say they have no shot in this game. Even with Purdy a victory is doubtful. You are talking about traveling across the country to an hostile environment. As if the travel and the opposing fans aren’t enough, there could also be a foot of snow. I love a good snow game but I’m guessing that the boys from Cali do not. This makes Purdy playing even more important. I am not completely comparing the elements of Ames, Iowa to Buffalo, New York but it can get pretty cold and snowy in Ames and Purdy has at least played in the elements before. The other major issue the 49ers face is that the Bills are just the better team. They are healthier. Their defense is better and although an injured Purdy is better than Brandon Allen, neither of them compare to Josh Allen. I don’t see this game going well for the 49ers even with Purdy. Without Purdy which seems likely, it’s a blowout.

Bills 31 49ers 17

A Blast from the Past: Browns @ Broncos on ESPN at 6:15 PM mountain time, Monday night

The Broncos get a rare night game facing the a Cleveland team that just had a big win in a snow game over the Steelers. Anytime these teams get ready to play there is a lot of talk about the drive when John Elway led the Broncos to a big win in the AFC championship keeping the Browns from going to the Super Bowl. What you don’t see as much is the highlights of the following year when the Browns were driving down to win the AFC championship only to have Earnest Byner fumble inside the 10. These matchups have not been good for the Browns. But now they have Jameis Winston. Is Winston good? Not really, but his speeches are amazing. Besides Kevin Harlan, I don’t know who else I would rather listen to talk. Jerry Jeudy will also make his return and now he actually catches the ball which is nice. Will that be true in Denver or will he resort to his old ways in the altitude? The Broncos are also flying high after beating the hated Raiders and currently sitting at the 7 seed in the AFC. Bo Nix has been playing very well and their defense is stingy. I believe there is a big divide between good teams and bad teams in the AFC. And I think the Broncos are a good team and the Browns are a bad team. But I do think this will be a close game and that neither QB will play great against the opposing defenses. The Broncos get a late interception to seal the game but afterwards Winston talks and makes everyone feel good about life.

Broncos 23 Browns 19

Today is a day we give thanks and with that in mind, here are the top 10 things I am thankful for.

10. The Broncos not being terrible

I know it is strange for me to be thankful for a divisional rival to be good, but when you are married to a Broncos fan and you spend every Sunday watching football with your spouse, it is nice when their team isn’t terrible. It’s been mostly good Sundays in the Campbell house minus one Sunday when a game ended with blocked kick as time expired. But we don’t need to talk about that.

9. Everyone starting to doubt the Chiefs

We started the season with all the commentators saying they would never doubt the Chiefs after last year. This year after 12 weeks, the Chiefs have a better record, less issues and look much better than they did at last time last year. But here comes all the doubters. “They don’t blow anyone out.” “They don’t have a knockout punch.” “They have this issue or that issue.” All of this is great because the Chiefs feed off all the comments and doubt.

8. Fantasy Football

I love football season for many reasons but one of the main reasons is fantasy football. It’s fun because it makes you care about games you would never have cared about before. But it also brings people together in a different way. And to make things even better, I am actually in first place in 2 of my 4 leagues. I am sure that will change in the coming weeks. But I am enjoying it while I can.

7. My family Fantasy league

The only thing better than fantasy football is my family fantasy league. We started this back in 2021 and are now in year 4. Most of the people had never played or played very little before. It’s been fun to see people improve. But my favorite part is our hilarious group text where all sorts of shenanigans happen. It provides weekly laughs and it is a way I can stay connected to siblings, siblings in laws, nephews and nieces.

6. The Election being over.

I know some of you are real happy and some of you are real bummed but we can all agree that it is good the election is over because it is the end of political commercials. They are all so bad but the favorite one at our house was some guy running for office in Colorado that according to the other side was very extreme. It ends with a grown man saying “He scares me!” I’m thankful those are no longer on my tv.

5. Patrick Mahomes

I know we don’t play our best football every Sunday but we are never out of a game because we have Patrick Mahomes. Whether we are down 24 nothing, only have 13 seconds to score or for some reason are tied with the 3-7 Panthers with minute and half left, you feel confident as a fan because number 15 is on your favorite team.

4. My kids’s school

We switched our son to a private school last year and moved over our daughter this year. We decided if our school was going to have an agenda it might as well be an agenda we agree with. This has been a great blessing with both kids enjoying it and finding success. Outside of academics, our son has started varsity in Baseball, gotten to play some varsity in football and played a bunch on the JV basketball team. He also has made a bunch of cool stuff in his woodworking and DIY classes. Our daughter starred in a 4th-6th grade musical of 101 Dalmatians as the Nanny. Whatever your expectations are of a 4th-6th grade musical, this far exceeded it. And she starts basketball next week.

3. A lot of my teams being good at the same time.

The Chiefs are trying to 3 peat, the Royals made the playoffs and if Mizzou football wins on Saturday they would have won 20 games in 2 years. I know I can be an obnoxious fan at times but it is only because I suffered so long. Before Mahomes the Chiefs playoff record was 9 and 18. Since Mahomes we are 15-3. I have seen the Royals lose 100 games a year much more often than I have seen them come close to making the playoffs. And all Mizzou fans assumed our team was cursed forever but now it is more likely we find a way to win a close game than lose it now. It won’t last but these are the glory days and I am embracing every moment of it.

2. Friends and family

I’m lucky to have a great family of people I actually like being around. I also have some great friends from all times in my life that I stay in touch with. Also, I have gotten to know some great people from being in different Facebook groups. I am thankful to have so many great friends across the country.

1. God

Without him I wouldn’t have all the other things on the list and many more things I am thankful for. So a shout out to the Big Guy who makes it all happen.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Another week is in the books. This week is Thanksgiving week, my favorite holiday. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here are the teams ranked from 32-1 with one thing each team has to be thankful for.

32. Giants: not having to worry that their 160 million scout team safety might get hurt. I thought the Jets handled things poorly. The Giants overpaid Daniel Jones. Benched him and said he was 3rd string but he was actually 4th string. Then they made him play scout team safety and then released him. Unreal.

31. Raiders: Figuring out the recipe to beat the Chiefs that one time. Sure they didn’t do much after that last year. And sure they lost to the Chiefs earlier this year. And sure they are 2-9 and awful. But technically they did beat the Chiefs in the past 12 months. So they got that going for them.

30. Jaguars: They didn’t lose this past week. I mean they were on a bye but I still had my doubts they would come out of the weekend without a loss.

29. Patriots: Drake Maye seems fun. The Patriots haven’t been fun in like 7 or 8 years so having a guy run around and occasionally make plays is pretty good. The team is not pretty good. They are pretty bad.

28. Titans: a big upset win. I think it says more about the Texans than it does the Titans but hey a win is a win.

27. Panthers: Bryce Young might not be terrible after all. Since returning from his benching earlier in the year, Bryce seems like a borderline functional NFL quarterback.

26. Jets: they didn’t put all their eggs in the basket of an aging, injured, old quarterback who is a terrible teammate and an attention whore. Oh wait. Well at least they aren’t the worst team in New Jersey.

25. Saints: MVS actually catching passes. Derek Carr loves to throw deep. MVS loves to run deep. It’s the perfect combination when MVS actually catches the ball, which he had not done lately until joining the Saints.

24. Cowboys: Jerry Jones’s inability to live forever. He is old and at some point he will pass away and then perhaps the Cowboys will be run like a functioning organization again. Also, they get to play the Giants this week.

23. Browns: Jameis Winston speeches. Let’s be honest, we are all thankful for those.

22. Bears: Only 6 more games until they can work on getting a new coach. They have talent. Caleb Williams is playing better but they are still losing which is good because Matt Eberflus is not the answer.

21. Bengals: Lots of passing yards. Joe Burrow and Jamarr Chase are really good. The defense is really not. So if you like lots of passing yards then the Natti is the place for you. If you like winning….not so much.

20. Colts: Being a top 20 team. The Colts are not good. Lucky for them 12 teams are real bad.

19. 49ers: There is always next year. This happens to them from time to time. Too many injuries. Super Bowl loss hangover, etc. But they always bounce back and make a run the following year.

18. Rams: A healthy Puka and Cooper Kupp. They still aren’t all that good but think how bad they would be without them.

17. Dolphins: Tua not dying. I know a lot of people are suddenly high on the Dolphins because they went from being a total turd without Tua to a competitive team with them. I’ll hold judgement for a few more weeks one way or the other. But Tua has not gotten concussed again and that is something we can all cheer about.

16. Cardinals: Being relevant. I think the Cards still have issues and I am not necessarily a believer in Kyler Murray but they are fun and could easily win the division. I didn’t think either of those things would be true coming into the season.

15. Commanders: First half Kliff Kingsbury. His offenses always start off hot and then slowly die away as the season goes on. It’s a bummer but let’s be honest the first 8 weeks of the season was more fun for Commanders than the last 8 years combined.

14. Falcons: Two wins against the Bucs. The Falcons have not played good football. Kirk Cousins has trouble moving. But they have two wins against the Bucs so all they got to do is tie them record wise and they win the division.

13. Texans: Playing in the AFC South. Any other division and these guys are sitting out the post season. But now they are going to be division winners and the 4 seed.

12. Seahawks: Being the better bird. They beat the Cardinals this week to get into first place. I don’t really have any more faith in them winning the division than I do the Cardinals, Rams or 49ers. But hey, they are in first place and their big thing is the 12th man so it seemed fitting to rank them 12th.

11. Bucs: Baker! I love me some Baker. Dude is funny. He runs down the field to run block. He dives on fumbles no one sees. He runs for touchdowns and then mocks 3rd string quarterbacks that for some reason are starting for terrible organizations. And when asked dumb questions like are you Italian? He responds by saying he hasn’t taken a 23 and me. He is a national treasure.

10. Broncos: Bo Nix/Sean Payton combo. This is the first team I have ranked that I think is actually good. I am not sure Bo Nix or Sean Payton would be all that great anywhere else. But together they are the perfect combo. They still have some tough games coming up but they are a playoff caliber team which makes my wife happy and happy wife, happy life.

9. Chargers: Winning the games they should. Under the last regime, the Chargers could snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against anyone. This team is simpler. They beat all the bad teams and lose to all the good teams. That’s what a pretty good team should do and the Chargers are pretty good. They beat the Broncos head to head so they get the slight nod ahead of them here.

8. Ravens: Derek Henry. Henry is real good and a bunch of teams are kicking themselves for not signing him. I have the Ravens lower than most because I don’t trust them when it matters most like against the division leading Steelers or the Chiefs or in the playoffs.

7. Steelers: No “Let’s Ride”. Russ is playing pretty well but didn’t bring any of his dumb catchphrases with him. He’s not great but he is good enough with their awesome defense.

6. Vikings: Kevin O’Connell. This guy should clearly be coach of the year. Some of the credit goes to Brian Flores greatly improving the defense. But guess who hired that guy…Kevin O’Connell. What he has done with Sam Darnold is borderline amazing. They are ranked below the top 5 because their ceiling with Darnold is much lower than the next 5.

5. Packers: Josh Jacobs and Xavier McKinney. Sometimes you sign free agents and you don’t know what you are going to get. Jacobs has been outstanding. If it was for Henry and Barkley we would be talking way more about them. And McKinney is on pace to get like 47 interceptions or something.

4. Eagles: Saquon Barkley. This dude is amazing. He is MVP in my book. He hurdles guys while running backwards. Not even Siranni can screw this up…well he probably will but it will be harder.

3. Chiefs: The return of old Mahomes. Pat did not play great for a while. But the last 5 games minus one bad throw against the Bills he has been outstanding. Which is good because the defense looks to be getting worse.

2. Bills: Josh Allen with limited turnovers. The Bills have been good for a while. Josh Allen has been good for a while. The one issue has been the massive amounts of turnovers that he has. He has seemed to gotten that under control and it has made the Bills that much stronger.

1. Lions: Dan Campbell culture. He’s a little crazy and I’m not sure if he can make the right decision in a close game but he took a consistent loser and made them a perennial winner. And that should make the Lions and their fan base very happy.

Ongoing Super Bowl Prediction: Chiefs over Lions

Another week is in the books! The Rankings get a bit of a shake up this week because as you know, Fifth-Down is completely unbiased and always fair. Let’s dive in.

Some how got worse on their bye: Giants

The Giants are so bad their 160 million dollar quarterback is 3rd string.

Just gave up 50: Jags

This team is not good. Not sure how Doug Pederson still has a job.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

They thought they had the answer at coach but it turns out that they probably don’t. Or perhaps the issue is they don’t have an answer anywhere else.

Running out of people to fire: Jets

Turns out the only person worse at running things than Aaron Rodgers is the Jets owner.

America’s team…to laugh at: Cowboys

Terrible team, stadium falling apart, owner saying they are all in but then doing nothing, losing by 20 plus every home game, some guy named Cooper Rush throwing to the wrong team a bunch. This is my favorite cowboys team in a while.

Not good but seem to be playing hard: Titans, Patriots, Browns, Panthers, Bears and Saints

Are any of these teams going to make the playoffs? No. Are any of these teams good? No. Could these teams be competitive and occasionally beat someone they will probably shouldn’t? Maybe. Unless they get the winning kicked blocked in the last second.

Throw for a thousand yards a game but still lose: Bengals

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahha

Somehow still have a shot at the playoffs: Dolphins and Colts

These teams have shown a little life lately but overall have been pretty bad this season. But because the AFC is filled with even worse teams they still got a shot.

Someone has to win the NFC South: Bucs and Falcons

Bucs lost all their good players. Falcons only play good against the Bucs. But one of these teams will make the playoffs.

Someone has to win the NFC West: Cardinals, Rams, 49ers, and Seahawks

The Cardinals are up by a game and have been the most consistent team but I just can’t fully believe they are that good. The other 3 are good one week and bad the next. Perhaps that is why they are all 5-5.

Up and coming: Broncos and Chargers

The AFC West is all of the sudden strong…well besides the awful Raiders. Both these teams are playing excellent football and are on pace to make the playoffs.

Playoff teams with problems: Ravens, Commanders, Packers, Vikings, Texans

All these teams are going to make the playoffs but they all have some serious flaws. Ravens can’t stop anyone from passing. Jayden Daniels seems to have been figured out. Packers turn the ball over too much. The Vikings still have Sam Darnold at quarterback and the Texans just don’t seem quite right in general.

Real good teams that could make a run but probably won’t: Steelers and Eagles

The Steelers are still limited offensively. I am not sure how many other playoff teams they can beat 18-16 besides the Ravens. Although they did once beat the Chiefs without scoring a td a few years back. The Eagles seem to be rolling but do we trust Nick Sirianni to not screw it up somewhere along the way?

Not playing that well but will probably win the Super Bowl: Chiefs

They don’t look great but are 9-1 and look way better than they did last time at this year. They have problems at tackle and corner but they have had issues the last two years and still seem to find a way to win it.

Regular Season Champs: Bills and Lions

These are the best two teams right now but I don’t remember anyone winning the Super Bowl in November. But I do think they will both end up the 1 seeds. The Eagles could maybe catch the Lions but I think it is unlikely. The Bills have a bye and then face the 49ers, Lions and Rams. If they win those 3 they finish with the Jets and the Patriots twice. The Chiefs still have the Chargers and Broncos again and play a ridiculous 3 games in 10 days against the Browns, Texans and Steelers. So I think Lions and Bills will lock up the 1 seeds.

Current Super Prediction: Chiefs over Lions