Fifth Down

Today is a day we give thanks and with that in mind, here are the top 10 things I am thankful for.

10. The Broncos not being terrible

I know it is strange for me to be thankful for a divisional rival to be good, but when you are married to a Broncos fan and you spend every Sunday watching football with your spouse, it is nice when their team isn’t terrible. It’s been mostly good Sundays in the Campbell house minus one Sunday when a game ended with blocked kick as time expired. But we don’t need to talk about that.

9. Everyone starting to doubt the Chiefs

We started the season with all the commentators saying they would never doubt the Chiefs after last year. This year after 12 weeks, the Chiefs have a better record, less issues and look much better than they did at last time last year. But here comes all the doubters. “They don’t blow anyone out.” “They don’t have a knockout punch.” “They have this issue or that issue.” All of this is great because the Chiefs feed off all the comments and doubt.

8. Fantasy Football

I love football season for many reasons but one of the main reasons is fantasy football. It’s fun because it makes you care about games you would never have cared about before. But it also brings people together in a different way. And to make things even better, I am actually in first place in 2 of my 4 leagues. I am sure that will change in the coming weeks. But I am enjoying it while I can.

7. My family Fantasy league

The only thing better than fantasy football is my family fantasy league. We started this back in 2021 and are now in year 4. Most of the people had never played or played very little before. It’s been fun to see people improve. But my favorite part is our hilarious group text where all sorts of shenanigans happen. It provides weekly laughs and it is a way I can stay connected to siblings, siblings in laws, nephews and nieces.

6. The Election being over.

I know some of you are real happy and some of you are real bummed but we can all agree that it is good the election is over because it is the end of political commercials. They are all so bad but the favorite one at our house was some guy running for office in Colorado that according to the other side was very extreme. It ends with a grown man saying “He scares me!” I’m thankful those are no longer on my tv.

5. Patrick Mahomes

I know we don’t play our best football every Sunday but we are never out of a game because we have Patrick Mahomes. Whether we are down 24 nothing, only have 13 seconds to score or for some reason are tied with the 3-7 Panthers with minute and half left, you feel confident as a fan because number 15 is on your favorite team.

4. My kids’s school

We switched our son to a private school last year and moved over our daughter this year. We decided if our school was going to have an agenda it might as well be an agenda we agree with. This has been a great blessing with both kids enjoying it and finding success. Outside of academics, our son has started varsity in Baseball, gotten to play some varsity in football and played a bunch on the JV basketball team. He also has made a bunch of cool stuff in his woodworking and DIY classes. Our daughter starred in a 4th-6th grade musical of 101 Dalmatians as the Nanny. Whatever your expectations are of a 4th-6th grade musical, this far exceeded it. And she starts basketball next week.

3. A lot of my teams being good at the same time.

The Chiefs are trying to 3 peat, the Royals made the playoffs and if Mizzou football wins on Saturday they would have won 20 games in 2 years. I know I can be an obnoxious fan at times but it is only because I suffered so long. Before Mahomes the Chiefs playoff record was 9 and 18. Since Mahomes we are 15-3. I have seen the Royals lose 100 games a year much more often than I have seen them come close to making the playoffs. And all Mizzou fans assumed our team was cursed forever but now it is more likely we find a way to win a close game than lose it now. It won’t last but these are the glory days and I am embracing every moment of it.

2. Friends and family

I’m lucky to have a great family of people I actually like being around. I also have some great friends from all times in my life that I stay in touch with. Also, I have gotten to know some great people from being in different Facebook groups. I am thankful to have so many great friends across the country.

1. God

Without him I wouldn’t have all the other things on the list and many more things I am thankful for. So a shout out to the Big Guy who makes it all happen.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Another week is in the books. This week is Thanksgiving week, my favorite holiday. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here are the teams ranked from 32-1 with one thing each team has to be thankful for.

32. Giants: not having to worry that their 160 million scout team safety might get hurt. I thought the Jets handled things poorly. The Giants overpaid Daniel Jones. Benched him and said he was 3rd string but he was actually 4th string. Then they made him play scout team safety and then released him. Unreal.

31. Raiders: Figuring out the recipe to beat the Chiefs that one time. Sure they didn’t do much after that last year. And sure they lost to the Chiefs earlier this year. And sure they are 2-9 and awful. But technically they did beat the Chiefs in the past 12 months. So they got that going for them.

30. Jaguars: They didn’t lose this past week. I mean they were on a bye but I still had my doubts they would come out of the weekend without a loss.

29. Patriots: Drake Maye seems fun. The Patriots haven’t been fun in like 7 or 8 years so having a guy run around and occasionally make plays is pretty good. The team is not pretty good. They are pretty bad.

28. Titans: a big upset win. I think it says more about the Texans than it does the Titans but hey a win is a win.

27. Panthers: Bryce Young might not be terrible after all. Since returning from his benching earlier in the year, Bryce seems like a borderline functional NFL quarterback.

26. Jets: they didn’t put all their eggs in the basket of an aging, injured, old quarterback who is a terrible teammate and an attention whore. Oh wait. Well at least they aren’t the worst team in New Jersey.

25. Saints: MVS actually catching passes. Derek Carr loves to throw deep. MVS loves to run deep. It’s the perfect combination when MVS actually catches the ball, which he had not done lately until joining the Saints.

24. Cowboys: Jerry Jones’s inability to live forever. He is old and at some point he will pass away and then perhaps the Cowboys will be run like a functioning organization again. Also, they get to play the Giants this week.

23. Browns: Jameis Winston speeches. Let’s be honest, we are all thankful for those.

22. Bears: Only 6 more games until they can work on getting a new coach. They have talent. Caleb Williams is playing better but they are still losing which is good because Matt Eberflus is not the answer.

21. Bengals: Lots of passing yards. Joe Burrow and Jamarr Chase are really good. The defense is really not. So if you like lots of passing yards then the Natti is the place for you. If you like winning….not so much.

20. Colts: Being a top 20 team. The Colts are not good. Lucky for them 12 teams are real bad.

19. 49ers: There is always next year. This happens to them from time to time. Too many injuries. Super Bowl loss hangover, etc. But they always bounce back and make a run the following year.

18. Rams: A healthy Puka and Cooper Kupp. They still aren’t all that good but think how bad they would be without them.

17. Dolphins: Tua not dying. I know a lot of people are suddenly high on the Dolphins because they went from being a total turd without Tua to a competitive team with them. I’ll hold judgement for a few more weeks one way or the other. But Tua has not gotten concussed again and that is something we can all cheer about.

16. Cardinals: Being relevant. I think the Cards still have issues and I am not necessarily a believer in Kyler Murray but they are fun and could easily win the division. I didn’t think either of those things would be true coming into the season.

15. Commanders: First half Kliff Kingsbury. His offenses always start off hot and then slowly die away as the season goes on. It’s a bummer but let’s be honest the first 8 weeks of the season was more fun for Commanders than the last 8 years combined.

14. Falcons: Two wins against the Bucs. The Falcons have not played good football. Kirk Cousins has trouble moving. But they have two wins against the Bucs so all they got to do is tie them record wise and they win the division.

13. Texans: Playing in the AFC South. Any other division and these guys are sitting out the post season. But now they are going to be division winners and the 4 seed.

12. Seahawks: Being the better bird. They beat the Cardinals this week to get into first place. I don’t really have any more faith in them winning the division than I do the Cardinals, Rams or 49ers. But hey, they are in first place and their big thing is the 12th man so it seemed fitting to rank them 12th.

11. Bucs: Baker! I love me some Baker. Dude is funny. He runs down the field to run block. He dives on fumbles no one sees. He runs for touchdowns and then mocks 3rd string quarterbacks that for some reason are starting for terrible organizations. And when asked dumb questions like are you Italian? He responds by saying he hasn’t taken a 23 and me. He is a national treasure.

10. Broncos: Bo Nix/Sean Payton combo. This is the first team I have ranked that I think is actually good. I am not sure Bo Nix or Sean Payton would be all that great anywhere else. But together they are the perfect combo. They still have some tough games coming up but they are a playoff caliber team which makes my wife happy and happy wife, happy life.

9. Chargers: Winning the games they should. Under the last regime, the Chargers could snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against anyone. This team is simpler. They beat all the bad teams and lose to all the good teams. That’s what a pretty good team should do and the Chargers are pretty good. They beat the Broncos head to head so they get the slight nod ahead of them here.

8. Ravens: Derek Henry. Henry is real good and a bunch of teams are kicking themselves for not signing him. I have the Ravens lower than most because I don’t trust them when it matters most like against the division leading Steelers or the Chiefs or in the playoffs.

7. Steelers: No “Let’s Ride”. Russ is playing pretty well but didn’t bring any of his dumb catchphrases with him. He’s not great but he is good enough with their awesome defense.

6. Vikings: Kevin O’Connell. This guy should clearly be coach of the year. Some of the credit goes to Brian Flores greatly improving the defense. But guess who hired that guy…Kevin O’Connell. What he has done with Sam Darnold is borderline amazing. They are ranked below the top 5 because their ceiling with Darnold is much lower than the next 5.

5. Packers: Josh Jacobs and Xavier McKinney. Sometimes you sign free agents and you don’t know what you are going to get. Jacobs has been outstanding. If it was for Henry and Barkley we would be talking way more about them. And McKinney is on pace to get like 47 interceptions or something.

4. Eagles: Saquon Barkley. This dude is amazing. He is MVP in my book. He hurdles guys while running backwards. Not even Siranni can screw this up…well he probably will but it will be harder.

3. Chiefs: The return of old Mahomes. Pat did not play great for a while. But the last 5 games minus one bad throw against the Bills he has been outstanding. Which is good because the defense looks to be getting worse.

2. Bills: Josh Allen with limited turnovers. The Bills have been good for a while. Josh Allen has been good for a while. The one issue has been the massive amounts of turnovers that he has. He has seemed to gotten that under control and it has made the Bills that much stronger.

1. Lions: Dan Campbell culture. He’s a little crazy and I’m not sure if he can make the right decision in a close game but he took a consistent loser and made them a perennial winner. And that should make the Lions and their fan base very happy.

Ongoing Super Bowl Prediction: Chiefs over Lions

Another week is in the books! The Rankings get a bit of a shake up this week because as you know, Fifth-Down is completely unbiased and always fair. Let’s dive in.

Some how got worse on their bye: Giants

The Giants are so bad their 160 million dollar quarterback is 3rd string.

Just gave up 50: Jags

This team is not good. Not sure how Doug Pederson still has a job.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

They thought they had the answer at coach but it turns out that they probably don’t. Or perhaps the issue is they don’t have an answer anywhere else.

Running out of people to fire: Jets

Turns out the only person worse at running things than Aaron Rodgers is the Jets owner.

America’s team…to laugh at: Cowboys

Terrible team, stadium falling apart, owner saying they are all in but then doing nothing, losing by 20 plus every home game, some guy named Cooper Rush throwing to the wrong team a bunch. This is my favorite cowboys team in a while.

Not good but seem to be playing hard: Titans, Patriots, Browns, Panthers, Bears and Saints

Are any of these teams going to make the playoffs? No. Are any of these teams good? No. Could these teams be competitive and occasionally beat someone they will probably shouldn’t? Maybe. Unless they get the winning kicked blocked in the last second.

Throw for a thousand yards a game but still lose: Bengals

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahha

Somehow still have a shot at the playoffs: Dolphins and Colts

These teams have shown a little life lately but overall have been pretty bad this season. But because the AFC is filled with even worse teams they still got a shot.

Someone has to win the NFC South: Bucs and Falcons

Bucs lost all their good players. Falcons only play good against the Bucs. But one of these teams will make the playoffs.

Someone has to win the NFC West: Cardinals, Rams, 49ers, and Seahawks

The Cardinals are up by a game and have been the most consistent team but I just can’t fully believe they are that good. The other 3 are good one week and bad the next. Perhaps that is why they are all 5-5.

Up and coming: Broncos and Chargers

The AFC West is all of the sudden strong…well besides the awful Raiders. Both these teams are playing excellent football and are on pace to make the playoffs.

Playoff teams with problems: Ravens, Commanders, Packers, Vikings, Texans

All these teams are going to make the playoffs but they all have some serious flaws. Ravens can’t stop anyone from passing. Jayden Daniels seems to have been figured out. Packers turn the ball over too much. The Vikings still have Sam Darnold at quarterback and the Texans just don’t seem quite right in general.

Real good teams that could make a run but probably won’t: Steelers and Eagles

The Steelers are still limited offensively. I am not sure how many other playoff teams they can beat 18-16 besides the Ravens. Although they did once beat the Chiefs without scoring a td a few years back. The Eagles seem to be rolling but do we trust Nick Sirianni to not screw it up somewhere along the way?

Not playing that well but will probably win the Super Bowl: Chiefs

They don’t look great but are 9-1 and look way better than they did last time at this year. They have problems at tackle and corner but they have had issues the last two years and still seem to find a way to win it.

Regular Season Champs: Bills and Lions

These are the best two teams right now but I don’t remember anyone winning the Super Bowl in November. But I do think they will both end up the 1 seeds. The Eagles could maybe catch the Lions but I think it is unlikely. The Bills have a bye and then face the 49ers, Lions and Rams. If they win those 3 they finish with the Jets and the Patriots twice. The Chiefs still have the Chargers and Broncos again and play a ridiculous 3 games in 10 days against the Browns, Texans and Steelers. So I think Lions and Bills will lock up the 1 seeds.

Current Super Prediction: Chiefs over Lions

I had all the intentions of writing this yesterday but ran out of time during the day. Then I was going to write it last night after Savannah’s outstanding performance as the Nanny in 101 Dalmatians. But then we were trying to stream the Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul fight and needed all the extra internet we could get for that and it still wasn’t enough. Apparently live streaming is not a strength of Netflix. It sounds like I didn’t miss much anyway as it turned out to just be a money grab which makes sense due to the fact that Tyson is almost 60. We did get it to work for a few minutes prior to the fight just in time to see Tyson’s bare butt so that was something. This is why I prefer boxing movies over real boxing or whatever that was last night. The final fight in a boxing movie never lets you down. But I am here to talk about football so let’s dive into the top 5 games to watch this weekend!

For the Love of the game: Packers @ Bears on Fox at 11 AM mountain time

This is the game that will be on our tv since my son is a huge Packers fan. You haven’t lived until you watch a Packers game with Walker. It’s an emotional roller coaster like no other. I have forbid him to say things like “we’re gonna lose!” or “We suck!” in the first quarter anymore. And besides Walker, you don’t suck. The Packers suck. He has actually gotten better which says a lot. If you ever want to question your own fandom and how you watch games, have a child who displays similar temperament towards sports as you do. Watching yourself as a younger version might just be the wake up call you need. Anyway, the Packers don’t actually suck they are just going through growing pains and some injuries. They paid Jordan Love a lot of money and he has gotten hurt twice and thrown a bunch of interceptions. But he also makes a ton of great plays too. Meanwhile on the other side Caleb Williams is what some might call a slump and others might call he’s not good. I know he is talented and the easy front end of their schedule made me think they could sneak into the playoffs as the 7 seed. But they are 4-5 after the easy part and have the hardest schedule in the NFL the rest of the way. I do not have a lot of faith in their head coach. And firing a coordinator always reeks of desperation. The Packers coming off a bye should be a little healthier and they are already the better team with the far better coach. So I’ll take the Packers in this one. And they better win because as a Packers fan, you must hate the Bears over all others and my son falls right in line with that. I don’t think our family Sunday can handle a loss here.

Packer 27 Bears 13

Let’s ride…to the factory: Ravens at Steelers on CBS @ 11 AM mountain time

Guess who’s back? Russ is back. Guess who’s back? Russ is back. Russ is back, Russ is back, Russ is back, Russ is back. He seems to have left his cheesy sayings and poor play back in Denver. He looks like Russ from 2020 Seattle. He’s not the best in the league but he is pretty good, he moves around and throws a great deep ball. That’s enough to make grumpy George Pickens happy and make Mike Tomlin look like a genius. Many people questioned benching Justin Fields since they were winning. Well never question Mike Tomlin. Sure, he might be carrying some spit or food in his beard but he knows football. I think the Steelers are actually good which I didn’t believe for weeks. But they are on a roll and in first place in the division. They have a half game lead on the Ravens who many think are the best team in the AFC even though they have lost to the Raiders and the Browns. This is a battle for first place between what used to be two physical and gritty defensive teams. Now it is a battle between one physical and gritty defensive team vs the Ravens. The Ravens can score but they can’t seem to stop anyone. This doesn’t bode well for them this week because for the most part the Steelers stop everyone. Give me the team with the fewer weaknesses in the hopes that after the game, Russ breaks and finally gives us a cheesy line after the game that you know he has been dying to use but has resisted until now. My money is on “we don’t steel victories we earn them” or “it is okay if you steel don’t believe in us, we believe in ourselves.” Steelers in a close one.

Steelers 27 Ravens 24

The Rebound: Falcons at Broncos on Fox @ 2:05 pm mountain time

Both of these teams suffered brutal losses last week. The Falcons lost to the woeful Saints in a game they had no business losing. Instead of expanding their grip in the NFC south they lost to another south opponent keeping the division championship in reach of the Bucs. A loss here would do real damage to their playoff hopes. The Broncos lost on a last second block field goal that I have named Bruno because in the Campbell house we don’t talk about it. A loss like that against an opponent you really want to beat can linger. The Falcons are the better team offensively and the Broncos are the better team defensively. So this should be a good match up. Both teams really need this win especially the Broncos who are currently holding on to the 7 seed and don’t want to fall below .500. With the Bucs on a bye the Falcons can distance themselves further in the lead for the division. This game is about who you trust. Do you trust Kirk Cousins on the road to lead his team to a bounce back win? Or do you trust Sean Payton to get his squad back on track at home after a heart breaking loss. Give me the veteran coach over the veteran quarterback in this one.

Broncos 24 Falcons 20

Never tell Pat the Odds: Chiefs at Bills on CBS at 2:25 PM @ 2:25 PM Mountain time

Despite being 9-0, the Chiefs are underdogs in this one. This will be the 15th time that Pat has been the underdog as a starter which is an insane stat to begin with. What’s even more insane is that Pat is 12-1-1 against the spread as an underdog and 11-3 straight up. Even odder is during their current 15 game win streak they have been underdogs 5 times. They are undefeated in those games, obviously. The Bills have been playing well but their two losses are against arguably the two best teams they have played in the Ravens and the Texans. Both those games were on the road and the Bills are tougher at home. Not only that, Josh Allen is 3-1 against the Chiefs in the regular season including winning 3 in a row. Lucky for Josh, this is not a playoff game where he is 0-3 against the Chiefs. He can even the overall score to 4-4 against Pat with a win on Sunday. I can tell you that Pat is fully aware of that and it will be just the motivation he needs because Pat is petty and things like this inspire him to play his best ball. The Chiefs can basically wrap up the 1 seed with a win and an undefeated season isn’t out of the question. After this one, they have they go to the Panthers and then host the Raiders and Chargers before their brutal stretch of 3 games in 10 days. The Bills must win this one to stay in the hunt for home field advantage. They have basically already won the division so that isn’t an issue. But I am sure they would rather be hosting teams than visiting them in January and a loss would make them 0-3 against all the other likely AFC division winners meaning they could easily end up the 4 seed. These games are always exciting and back and forth battles. This has Pat takes their heart in some heart breaking way written all over it. I don’t think the Chiefs go undefeated but I do think they get to 10-0 and of course giving Chiefs fans a heart attack along the way as usual.

Chiefs 28 Bills 27

Home Alone but He’s got Company on the road: Bengals at Chargers on NBC @ 6:20 PM Mountain Time

I feel like I have let you down by not making enough Macauley Culkin/ Joe Burrow comparisons this year and for that I apologize. I’ll try and make it up to you the rest of the way. While Joe really isn’t home alone he has made wins disappear as the Bengals only have one win at home against the awful Raiders. Meanwhile on the road they are a more respectable 3-2. This is why this game is hard to predict. While technically they will be playing on the road, it is against the Chargers who basically don’t have home games and there will likely be more Bengals fans at the game than Chargers. The Chargers are a solid team who have beaten all the bad teams they have played and lost to all the good teams they have played. Which leads us to the question…are the Bengals a good team? They certainly have a good receiver in Jamaar Chase who had like 800 yards receiving last week against the Ravens. The oddity is that it doesn’t matter how good Burrow and Chase are because their defense kind of sucks especially against the pass. But the Chargers are more of a run first team so I am interested to see how this plays out. Jim Harbaugh despite looking like he is 75 has got the Chargers playing solid ball. I think these teams are pretty even and the Bengals desperately need a win. But often games like this come down to who makes the most mistakes and that will for sure be the smack talking Bengals.

Chargers 30 Bengals 28

It’s time for top 10 Thursday. The NFC East has had a different division winner for 20 years. This will be true again this year as well because the Cowboys won the division last year and that isn’t happening this year. The winner of tonight’s game has the inside track to winning. The NFC East actually leads all divisions with championships. Due to the game tonight here are my top 10 memories of the NFC East in their Super Bowl wins.

10. Almost Perfect and then perfectly annoying

In one of the first super bowls I remember watching the Giants beat the Denver Broncos when Phil Simms completed 22 of 25 passes and won MVP. Phil later became the main and often annoying commentator for years on CBS. My Broncos loving in law family can often be heard saying “shut up Phil Simms!”

9. Larry Brown wins MVP after opposing QB throws the ball directly to him

Larry Brown was an average corner that played opposite Deion Sanders. Due to Neil O’Donnell avoiding Sanders, he also avoided throwing to his own players and instead threw the ball directly to Brown twice and so Brown landed the MVP and used that to get a lucrative deal with the idiot Raiders who apparently didn’t look at the rest of his resume. He barely played for them.

8. Wide Right

The Giants controlled to clock but the Bills still had a shot to win. And then poor Scott Norwood missed it wide right. 11 year old me thought it was ridiculous that he missed a 47 yarder because my brother made one from the same distance as a senior in high school earlier that year. 45 year old me understands that the significance of the kick probably added a little more pressure than my brother’s kick in a blow out win in the middle of nowhere America with a couple of hundred people watching.

7. The Redskins are real good

The following year the Bills made it back but the result was even worse. The Skins finished 14-2 and then won through the playoffs with their ridiculously good team led by Mark Rypien at Quarterback which was probably their weakest position. This game was not close as were most of their games that year.

6. Giants beat Brady…again

In 2007 the Patriots were 18-0 until the Super Bowl when the Giants shocked the Pats with their first loss. More on that in a little bit. A few years later they met again in a rematch. It was again a really close game that the Giants came up on top and Eli Manning seems to be the Brady killer.

5. Leon Lett is not faster than Don Beebe

The Cowboys were rolling in this one and Leon Lett was about to put the final touch on the game. But as he was celebrating on his way into the end zone he didn’t realize that Don Beebe and his double helmet came running down and knocked the ball out of his hands and out of the end zone for a touch back. The Cowboys won big but this was probably the most memorable play of the game.

4. Unknown guy still has all time Super Bowl rushing record

In 1987 The Skins switched to QB Doug Williams which everyone remembers. But what you probably don’t remember as they used little know Timmy Smith played running back in the big game. Overshadowed by Williams being the first black quarterback to win the Super Bowl, Smith ran for a record 212 yards that seems like a record that will hold for a long time. Ironically Smith only ran for like 300 yards total outside of that game.

3. Philly special

Not many thought that Nick Foles would out dual Tom Brady in the Super Bowl but that is exactly what happened. Along with that, he also caught a td on a trick play. It was a fun exclamation point on on a fun and surprising game.

2. All the Touchdown passes

The Broncos got off to an early 10-0 lead and then Doug Williams went off and threw for 4 touchdowns and along with a long td run from Timmy Smith. And all of the sudden it was 35-10.

1. Guy catches pass on helmet

The Patriots had dominated all year long to an amazing perfect record. Enter the Giants. Spags worked his magic to contain Brady and the potent offense. Then Eli Manning some how avoided getting sacked by like 3 different guys and launched a pass down the field to a random player named David Tyree who caught the ball on his helmet. The Giants went on to score the winning td and ruin the Pats attempt at a perfect season leaving the stupid 72 dolphins as the only undefeated team even though the Pats had already won 1 more game than they did.

It was another crazy week of the NFL with some teams ruining their chances of any hope of making the playoffs and other teams winning games they shouldn’t have to stay on top of the league. Let’s dive into where everyone ranks going into week 11.

Trying to get that number 1 pick and probably a new coach: Titans, Jags, Raiders, Giants and Browns

All these teams have 2 wins. The Jags are for sure getting a new coach. Titans guy is in year 1 but he is an offensive guy and the only thing good about the team is the defense. Raiders coach who once had the blue print to beat the chiefs apparently now doesn’t have the blue print to beat anybody. I actually think the Giants and Browns coaches are good coaches who have gotten a bad set up for success but 2 wins is still only 2 wins.

Not technically eliminated but pretty much eliminated: Panthers, Saints, Patriots

The whole league is pretty average this year so although typically a 3 win team usually has no shot at making the playoffs in week 11, these teams are still sort of in it. But I don’t think anyone believes they can make a run, not even them.

Eliminated but we still have to talk about them: Jets, Cowboys and Bears

These teams are complete dumpster fires but because they are in big markets and have some big names the media is going to keep talking about them like they are relevant. They are both awful. Rodgers and his philosophic BS is wearing thin and Cooper Rush just went 13-23 for 45 yards. 45 Yards! In an NFL game. They are both done. The Bears have Caleb Williams and so the media will keep talking about them too. But when you start firing coordinators in desperation you know the season is over.

A couple of these teams are going to make the AFC playoffs: Dolphins, Bengals, Broncos, Chargers, Colts

While the top of the AFC is very good and the bottom of the AFC is very bad the middle of the AFC is just eh. The Chargers have the best record and have done a nice job of beating the bad teams and losing to the good teams. Unfortunately for them they have a run of good teams coming up. Beating the Bengals this week on Sunday night football could help them separate from the pack. The Broncos are solid and if they beat the Falcons this week then I like their chances of getting in. At least one of the two are getting in. The Colts switch to Joe Flacco has not paid off for anyone besides fantasy football owners who have Colts receivers not named Michael Pittman Jr. But technically they are only a game and half behind the Chargers so I feel obligated to include them. The Bengals keep finding ways to lose but they are probably the most talented team of the bunch. The Dolphins are 3-6 but the middle of the AFC sucks and their schedule is easy so they still have somewhat of a shot. My money is on the Bengals if they win this week and whoever wins the Chargers vs Broncos game in week 16.

Someone is going to win the NFC South: Falcons and Bucs

The fact that the Bucs are still in this even though they are 2 games back and lost to the Falcons twice tells you everything you need to know about my confidence in the Falcons.

Someone is going to win the AFC South: Texans

The Texans are not good. In fact they seem to get worse every week. But the rest of the division is so bad that it doesn’t matter. They will be the 4 seed in the AFC.

Someone is going to win the NFC West: Rams, Seahawks, 49ers and Cardinals

I think the Cardinals might actually be good. They have won 4 in a row and have the best record of the bunch. But a game and half separates them from the Seahawks team in last place so who knows who is going to win this thing. I don’t think any of the teams are great but the 49ers or Rams could get hot and make some noise. But probably instead they will just have a bunch more injuries.

Legit NFC Playoff teams: Eagles, Commanders, Vikings, Packers

Either the Eagles or Commanders will win the East but the other one is getting into the playoffs. Both teams are solid. I think the Vikings are in trouble but they already have 7 wins and I think 10 gets you in so I think they are safe to lose in the first round. The Packers have some issues primarily some bad decision making by Jordan Love. But they are talented and well coached and will do enough to get in.

Legit threats to beat the Chiefs in the AFC: Steelers, Bills and Ravens

I have the least faith in the Ravens because their defense is bad and Lamar doesn’t play that great in the playoffs or against the Chiefs. The Bills are good and we will see what happens this week but in the playoffs they always find a way to choke away victory. I actually fear the Steelers the most at this point. I am finally going to give them credit as a good team and they can play the right strategy to beat the Chiefs. You have to play our game of methodical offense and great defense and then hope you end up with the ball last and the Steelers can do that. Sort of like the Broncos did before getting the game winning field goal blocked.

Duo of Destiny: Chiefs and Lions

I firmly believe these are the two best teams. Neither team deserved to win on Sunday but both did. It feels like these teams are destined to meet in the Super Bowl and the rest of the season is just details. The whole world minus Chiefs fans would be cheering for the Lions. No matter who wins, history will be made. Either a 3 peat or something good happening for the Lions.

Current Super Bowl Prediction: Chiefs over Lions

It’s time for Five for Friday where I give you 5 games to watch this weekend with a few thoughts and projections on each one.

The 80 years later punishment: Giants @ Panthers but actually in Munich, Germany on NFL Network at 7:30 AM mountain time.

80 some years ago, Germany tried to take over the world causing a war that pretty much everyone had to get involved in. This was Germany’s second such discretion in about 30 year period. Sure there were consequences then but you know us Americans like to hold grudges. Thus we are sending them the Giants and Panthers for their game this season. If you would like to suffer with the German people you can get up early and watch this dumpster fire. The Panthers finally beat the awful Saints last week for their second win in the season. The Giants have played several close games but always find a way to lose. Daniel Jones did finally throw a touchdown in his home stadium for the first time in like 3 years so that is good. The winner gets a 3rd victory and the loser is one step closer to the number 1 pick of the 2025 NFL draft. Meanwhile, we and especially all the people in Germany are the biggest losers for having to watch this crap show. And not like the biggest losers from the show the Biggest loser where the person who loses the most is actually the winner. Anyway, I think the Giants are slightly better and get the win.

Giants 20 Panthers 17

A House Divided: Broncos at Chiefs on CBS at 11 AM Mountain Time

It’s no secret that I am a huge Chiefs fan. What you may not know is that my wife is a huge Broncos fan. We knew this when we got married but the Chiefs were terrible then so my fandom was a little quieter. The Broncos weren’t great either and we were two kids in love so it didn’t matter. Well we were in our late 20’s but I felt like a kid compared to how I feel now considering I often pull muscles while sleeping. Anyway, as our marriage went on and our teams sucked less we realized that we were truly a house divided. Our family fantasy football league is named after this and our son became a Packers fan because there was no winning picking either the Chiefs or the Broncos. Some look at this as an issue but I look at this as real love. Sure twice a year we sit quietly on opposite ends of the couch and watch the game in silence. But the other 16 weeks of the NFL season we actually cheer for each other’s teams. Not because we like each other’s team but because we like each other and we know the rest of Sunday that person will be more fun if they win. I even cheered for the Broncos in the 2015 Super Bowl even though I didn’t want to. And Danielle even did the chop in 2019 when we finally won one. Sure I despise John Elway more than any athlete on any team ever. And sure she gets sick of my obsession with repeats and 3 peats. But hey love is love. She even drafts Patrick Mahomes on her fantasy teams so that she has a reason to cheer for the Chiefs. Even that hasn’t worked out that well for her this year as he has been pretty bad in fantasy despite not losing in real life. Anyway, there is a football game on Sunday. Kevin Harlan is announcing so even though neither of us will be allowed to get that excited, Harlan has it covered. All Chiefs games are close and I don’t foresee this one being any different. I actually think the Broncos are pretty good and have a good chance in this one. Our D is really good so no high power offense and bad defense is going to beat us. You need a stingy D of your own to win a slug fest of stops to get the job done. Pat has struggled some against the Denver D over the years. The only defense he does worse again is the Bengals. I was real close to picking the Broncos in this one. But the Chiefs have been so clutch when it matters most so I can’t quite pull the trigger. I’ll take the Chiefs in a close stressful game that will put a strain on my marriage for the rest of the day.

Chiefs 24 Broncos 20

Battle of the injured: 49ers @ Bucs on Fox at 11 AM mountain time

What’s left of these teams will battle it out with Tom Brady commentating. The 49ers are getting slightly healthier with McCaffrey and Jennings coming back they have almost the whole band together besides Aiyuk. But you and I both know that at least one key player will be injured by the time this game is over. The Bucs are playing without their two best offensive players in Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. That doesn’t phase Baker when it comes to fantasy stats but it does hurt him when it comes to wins. He is 0-3 without his top two playmakers despite valiant efforts. And now he faces a desperate 49ers team that also really needs a win. I love Baker and will be cheering for him but I don’t like his odds in this one. The 49ers have more play makers and the Bucs D is not good. Baker will do what he can to keep it close but in the end, he just doesn’t have the fire power to get it done despite his receivers getting real excited when they occasionally make a catch.

49ers 31 Bucs 27

All in on losing: Eagles @ Cowboys on CBS at 2:25 Mountain time

Woof, the afternoon games are rough. Jerry Jones said the Cowboys were going all in during the offseason. Then he made no moves and waited forever to pay his current players. He is not good at his job. The Cowboys suck so bad that even Dak Prescott could be seen mouthing that they suck with an extra colorful word. The Cowboys are bad every week but especially bad at home. Now Dak is on IR and Cooper Rush is getting the start. This is all good news for the Eagles and my daughter who became an Eagles fan conveniently when they won the Super Bowl. This is also good news for her fantasy team since she has Hurts, Barkley, Smith, their defense and their kicker. She is all in on the Eagles and against this Cowboys D at their house this should be a good thing. I cannot see any way that this is a close game except if Nick Sirianni makes some of his usual dumb decisions. So it will probably be a close game. Usually when the Cowboys are at home, they give up a bunch of scores and then Dak racks up a bunch of passing stats coming from behind. But I don’t think Cooper Rush will do the same. Also, what the heck are they doing with Trey Lance? I mean wouldn’t this be the ideal time to see if he was any good? Also, why in the world did they trade a 4th round pick for Johnny Mingo a guy who couldn’t get playing time on the freaking panthers? Seriously, Jerry Jones is really bad at his job. I am going to have fun watching the Cowboys suck it up in this one. Not even Sirianni can screw this up. Eagles win big.

Eagles 38 Cowboys 17

Does the Lion get tamed or roar once again?: Lions @ Texans on NBC at 6:20 PM mountain time

The Lions look like the clear best team in the NFC and because they win more significantly, people want to say they are better than the Chiefs but last time I checked the Lions have a loss and the Chiefs don’t. Jared Goff has been playing very well which he tends to do when he doesn’t have to throw too much. The Texans D isn’t that great so it should be another good game for the Lions offense. The Lions added a pass rusher at the trade deadline and the defense seems to be getting better. You know what isn’t good? The Texans offensive line. They are beat up and weren’t that good to begin with. CJ Stroud is suffering the same problem as most quarterbacks, running out of people to throw to. But he isn’t handling it as well as others. I was hoping Nico Collins would be back this week but that seems to be up in the air and Diggs is out for the year. It will be up to Tank Dell and company to get open which is possible as the Lions secondary while getting better still gives up some open passing lanes. I think this one is a little bit back and forth early with the Lions pulling away late. Goff is playing better, has better weapons and probably the better defense. And definitely the better offensive line. Lions in a close one.

Lions 27 Texans 24

Since the Bengals and Ravens are playing I think this is good time to admit that the AFC North is my least favorite division in football. I don’t like any of these teams. Here are the top 10 things I hate about the AFC North.

10. Cleveland fans: Overall, I respect Browns fans. However, I don’t like Indians fans who are now Guardians fans. I went to an Indians vs Royals game with my son at Cleveland and the fans were jerks. But hey, they are probably jealous because the Royals have won a World Series in the last 100 years. Also a lot of Browns fans are fans of LeFlop who you know I am not a fan of.

9. The Steelers never have losing record: Often not good but never terrible and winning just enough of other team’s season. It’s annoying.

8. The Bengals Mayor: You remember when he said that his Burrow was Mahomes daddy? What a tool.

7. Ravens…the regular season champs: The Ravens are awesome during the regular season. Everyone talks about how awesome they are even when they lose. Even right now at 6-3 and currently losing to the Bengals, people are acting like they are better than the 8-0 Chiefs who they already lost to.

6. Mike Tomlin’s beard: There is always either food or spit stuck in it. It’s gross.

5. Deshaun Watson: I don’t know if Mr. Creepy did what he is accused of…but I’m guessing he did and he has basically screwed over the entire franchise by taking all their money and playing terrible.

4. The Bengals for some reason having the recipe to stop Mahomes: He seemed to figure it out in the AFC championship a couple of years ago but then this year he struggled again. Which is odd because their defense sucks against everyone else.

3. Ray Lewis being celebrated as a good guy. He’s was involved in a murder but who cares about that. He is a good example for all.

2. Joe Burrow being compared to Patrick Mahomes: Pat has 3 super bowls and Joe has one appearance. Joe is up 3-2 but it would be 3-3 if Joe could make it through back to back seasons without getting hurt. Plus he looks like a combination of Macaulay Culkin and Ellen DeGeneres.

1. Ja’Marr Chase: Sure he is good at football. But he talks a bunch of crap, is annoying in general and even though in his first game against the Chiefs he went off hasn’t really done much yet since then. And he is just a punk in general and my least favorite player in the NFL.

Wow, the season is half over already. It’s been a great year unless you are an NFL receiver because then you are probably on injured reserve. As you know, I love the NFL and am a little sad that the regular season is almost over. Since we are half way done, we rank the teams based upon their goals for the rest of the season.

Get the number 1 pick: Panthers, Saints, Titans, Raiders, and Giants

Everyone has at least 2 wins so pick #1 is wide open. All these teams are terrible so it is truly anyone’s game. All these teams have massive weaknesses and the occasional strength. They should all give up on the season and get pick #1.

Figure out how bad we are and how many changes are needed: Browns and Jags.

Both of these teams are too talented to lose enough to get the number 1 pick. So they got to figure out if they need to burn it down, fire coaches, etc or make minor tweaks.

Keep Tua alive: Dolphins

Every time they play I get nervous. If you lose a couple more they should shelf him for the rest of the season.

Do just enough to give the team a little bit of hope to not make major changes and disappoint their fan bases all over again next year: Jets and Cowboys

Both these teams are major disappointments. Both teams will probably have new coaches next year, but they overall will continue on the same disaster of a path they are on. Look for lots of hype in the offseason, followed by a few early wins to get the media real excited followed by a complete letdown.

Help their young QB get better: Bears and Colts

They are taking different strategies to get there but both these QBs have work to do. Bears probably need a new coach. Colts need their QB to learn basic things like don’t take yourself out on 3rd down because you are tired.

Fight until the end to get a playoff spot but probably come up short: Bucs, Broncos

I think these two teams are all pretty good but all have a major issue. The Bucs are too banged up. The Broncos QB is still learning and they need another weapon or two.

Make the playoffs just to spite me: Bengals

Someone has to get that 7th playoff spot in the AFC and something tells me it is going to be the stupid Bengals. If they get in, you never know they might make a run. But their defense is so bad, I don’t think they get out of the first round.

Win the NFC West: Cardinals, Rams, 49ers, and Seahawks

The Cards are currently in first place at 5-4. Everyone else is 4-4. The 49ers and Rams have gone through some serious injury issues and getting kind of healthy. My money is still on the Rams to come out on top.

Lose in the first round of the Playoffs: Steelers, Chargers, Vikings

I think all these teams get in. But the Steelers and Chargers aren’t good enough offensively. And the Vikings are well…the Vikings.

Win the division and then lose in the first round: Texans and Falcons

Both of them will win the South but the Texans have major offensive line issues still and the Falcons have Kirk Cousins so neither of them are making it very far.

Probably lose the division but make a run in the Playoffs: Eagles and Packers

These teams have issues but are both talented enough to make a deep run in the playoffs and even make it to the Super Bowl. Nick Siranni’s and Jordan Love’s decision making will probably keep them from doing so.

Win the division and a playoff game: Commanders

This is a good team that should be really happy with how things are going. Oddly enough no one has won the NFC East back to back since 2002-2003. If they win this year, they could be the team next year to break that streak. But they probably won’t.

Lose to the Chiefs in some heartbreaking way: Bills, Ravens, Lions

All these teams are doing all the right things to play the Chiefs at some point in the playoffs and play just well enough to barely lose in some crazy way.

Three Peat: Chiefs

They are the only undefeated team and still haven’t played that well offensively. But look out, we got D-Hop and he seems like a game changer and they will get a couple more offensive guys back as the season goes on. 17-0 isn’t off the table but I am doubtful. If they win the next two I’ll be more convinced of the possibility but even then they have to play 3 games in 10 days in weeks 15-17 which is a ridiculous thing the league is making them do. But the 3 Peat looks as a real possibility.

Other Highlights of the first half of the season:

• There was a plethora of injuries that hurt a lot of real teams and even more fantasy teams.
• Receiver definitely got hit the hardest. On my family fantasy football league my top 3 receivers were Rashee Rice, Nico Collins and Chris Godwin. Then they were Nico Collins and Chris Godwin. Then they were Chris Godwin. Then they were Khalil Shakir. Ironically Shakir missed a week or two as well.
• The refs rigged it for the Chiefs talk is at an all time high. If there is a missed call at any point in the Chiefs favor just assume the game was rigged and the league wants a team in a small market to win every week. Just ignore that the refs are humans and they make mistakes in every game every week. Just ask Sam Darnold and what’s left of his facemask.
• The Jets have too many games on primetime. Why must we suffer the first half of every year watching the Jets play awful just because the NFL wants them to be good.
• Aaron Rodgers is the worst teammate ever and I would not want to be his coach. He lost a guy his job and then rattled off like 5 straight losses. Then he threw his receiver under the bus. In good news for Mike Williams he is out of New Jersey and headed to stable Pittsburgh.
• Rookie Quarterbacks have played well overall…much better than last year’s bunch. Caleb has been good more than he has been bad. Jayden Daniels has been exceptional. Bo Nix before this week had gotten better each week. And Drake Maye doesn’t look terrible. Bryce Young and Anthony Richardson both got benched (Richardson once by himself because he was tired and once by his coach) and CJ Stroud does not look as good as he did yesterday.
• Jarod Goff is really, really good when he doesn’t have to throw the ball very much. Goff has been exceptional when he throws 20 or less times. If they keep running all over everybody they will be tough to beat.
• How long until the next 49er gets hurt? Everyone picked them to win the division but I had hunch the injury bug would get them again. McCaffrey is supposed to come back but this has reinjury in a couple of weeks written all over it.
• I have 4 fantasy teams which is a lot. I won’t say it is too many because it is a lot of fun. But my players on one team are always on the opposing team in another league. So it has proven impossible for my teams to win all in the same week. I’m in first place at 7-2 in two of the leagues, 4-5 in my wife’s work league and 3-6 in the ridiculous 16 team league. Injuries in that league are a fantasy death sentence.

Half way Playoff predictions:

AFC:

1. Chiefs
2. Bills
3. Ravens
4. Texans
5. Steelers
6. Chargers
7. Bengals

NFC:

1. Lions
2. Commanders
3. Falcons
4. Rams
5. Eagles
6. Packers
7. Vikings

Way to early Super Prediction: Sticking with Chiefs over Rams for now.

Tune into tomorrow for the return of Top 10 Thursday!

Last week there were a ton of games I was excited to watch. This week, not so much. But that won’t stop me from watching as many games as possible. Let’s dive in to the 5 games I’ll be watching the most closely.

Battle of the struggling coaches: Eagles @ Bengals on CBS at 11 AM Mountain time

Both these teams have been winning more lately but it hasn’t been pretty. They also have both beaten the Giants and the Browns lately so not exactly going up against the cream of the crop. The Eagles have been up and down but are significantly better when AJ Brown is playing. But it feels like they are winning in spite of Nick Sirianni instead of because of him. Sirianni has a tendency to do dumb things both with play calling and strategy and outside of coaching as well like talking crap to his own fan base after barely beating the Browns. Bringing your cute kid to the press conference can only save your job for so long so they really need to beat a team with a pulse. The Bengals are playing better again and this feels like a team that unfortunately might be able to make a run. But if they miss the playoffs, then you have to question Zach Taylor’s return. I mean how can this team start off so poorly every single year? Do they just not practice in the preseason and training camp? I don’t get it. Winning this would get them to .500 with the Raiders next week which means they could have a winning record heading into a tough stretch were they go to the Ravens, to the Chargers and then host the Steelers. The schedule is pretty easy after that but they need this win. Much is on the table for the Eagles as well so this is a pretty big game. Both teams have great weapons and this should be a high scoring affair. I will be cheering hard for the Eagles but this feels like yet another Bengals team that gets better as the year goes on and then makes some noise in the playoffs. Here’s hoping I am wrong.

Bengals 31 Eagles 27

Battle for the NFC South: Falcons @ what is left of the Bucs on Fox at 11 AM mountain time

The Saints have fallen apart and the Panthers were never good and still aren’t so it looks like these two teams are playing to win the division. They won’t play again after this one so it is a big game in determining who wins this thing. The Falcons lone good win was against the Bucs in an exciting overtime bout a few Thursday nights ago. Side note, you remember how bad Thursday night football was when they first moved it to Amazon? While I do miss Al Michaels snarky comments about the terrible games, I got to say overall Thursday night football has been great so far including this week’s game between the Rams and the Vikings that ended with a terrible missed call. Can we stop with the constant the refs are in to help the Chiefs and just admit that the officiating overall isn’t great? But I digress. The Falcons just got their butts kicked by the Seahawks. I am not sure what is wrong with the Falcons. On paper they should be good but on the field they are just okay. The Bucs offense looked awesome but now they are down their two best players including Chris Godwin who was on my family league fantasy team. I started the year with him, Nico Collins and Rashee Rice and it was awesome. That trio is no longer awesome because they are all on IR. But I’m not bitter. Baker has been great but will he still be good throwing to Sterling Shephard and Jalen McMillen? I’ll give you a few minutes to look up who those guys are. As much as I love Baker, I think their bigger issue is that Todd Bowles defense sucks. Kirk lights them up again and the birds take a significant lead in the division even though they will have the same record.

Falcons 41 Bucs 30

Kermit’s Revenge: Chiefs at Raiders on CBS at 2:25 PM Mountain time

I’m excited for this one. The Chiefs are 6-0 and the Raiders are terrible. For some reason because they won one game against the Chiefs last year without completing a pass in the second half, they think the own Pat and the Chiefs now. Their coach talked about how they have the recipe to beat him after the game and then during training camp the raiders players got caught on camera with a kermit the frog/Pat Mahomes dressed doll and made some not so nice comments. Pat will say none of this matters to him and he is just focused on winning the game and getting better. But you and I know that is not true. Pat is like Jordan, very, very petty. It’s part of what makes them great. They will use any dumb thing to help motivate them. To add to the drama, Pat has literally never lost in this stadium. The Chiefs own Vegas and I don’t expect much to change here. Hopkins is likely to play but even if he doesn’t, I think Pat lights them up. And to make everything even better, Kevin Harlan is announcing. I couldn’t be happier about that. Harlan is my favorite announcer in all of sports. My productivity would go through the roof if he announced my life. Anyway, the Raiders are terrible and the Chiefs aren’t so Chiefs by a lot.

Chiefs 31 Raiders 10

#1 vs #2: Bears @ Commanders on CBS at 2:25 PM mountain time

The number 1 draft pick will hopefully match up against the number 2 draft pick in this quarterback dual. Caleb Williams started off slow but he is playing much better now. Of course playing the Jags and Panthers in back to back weeks can help anyone look better. Jayden Daniels started off hot and has continued to play well until he got injured last week. He is listed as questionable and will be a game time decision. This game loses a lot of it’s intrigue if they role Marcus Mariota out there. Assuming Daniels play it should be an exciting one. The Bears defense is tough but that shouldn’t stop Daniels and their high powered offense. The Commanders defense is not good so that should help Caleb Williams and an inconsistent Bears offense. I think both these guys will be good in the long run but it will be fun to see who gets bragging rights assuming Daniels plays. Which I hope he does because in that same family league, scary Terry Mclaurin is my last good receiver I have left. I think this will be a back and forth shoot out and whoever has the ball last wins sort of game. Give me the commanders if Daniels plays.

Commanders with Daniels 30 Bears 27

or

Bears 27 Commanders without Daniels 20

Battle of 1995: Cowboys at 49ers on NBC at 6:20 PM Mountain time

These two proud franchises don’t have much to be proud of these days. Both teams have regularly made the playoffs since the 90s but neither has won it all since 1996. The Cowboys have only won a few playoff games and the 49ers after starting 5-0 in super bowls have lost 3 straight. This year the 49ers have once again been decimated by injuries which is pretty common for them in even numbered years. The Cowboys on the other hand just aren’t that good and are especially atrocious at home. Luckily for them this week they are on the road. That’s the good news. The bad news is last year they got absolutely destroyed on Sunday night at the 49ers. Maybe their luck will turn around this year. I think both these teams are on the struggle bus. I don’t trust either quarterback. The Cowboys have better receivers and the 49ers have better running backs. I don’t trust either coach that much either but Shanahan is pretty good if he isn’t playing the Chiefs or playing in a super bowl or both. And the 49ers defense is slightly healthier and better overall. I used to love to watch these two teams battle in the 90s. Now I will only be watching because it is the only game on. Give the 49ers in a somewhat close one.

49ers 24 Cowboys 20

The Presidential Election is less than two weeks away. Like you, I will miss all the cheery tv ads where they degrade their opponent. Each Presidential election I get less and less excited about placing my vote. But this year is an exception. Because the candidates are in my opinion epically bad, I decided to vote for someone who would be much better or at a minimum easily defeat either of them in a debate and that someone is me. I may not have the on paper qualifications of the current candidates but unlike Kamala I do have original thoughts and unlike Trump I can occasionally put my ego aside and keep my mouth shut. So before you go to the polls let me give you 10 reasons to vote for yours truly. These are of course all sports related.

10. Discontinue instant replay in Baseball. I have no idea why they even waste their time with this. They never change the calls even if it is obvious that they should.

9. Shorten the NHL season by 20 games. Why in the world are we playing hockey in June??? And it has already started so why do we need such a long season.

8. Shorten the NBA season by 20 games. Again, why do we need NBA basketball from October to almost July? Also, the players only play 60 games each now anyway because they are a bunch of pansies. So just give them what they want and shorten the season.

7. Get rid of the stupid NBA In Season tournament. This is the dumbest thing ever as they are just trying to make their sport relevant in a time when no one cares about it yet. I didn’t even know they did this until they brought up during the real playoffs.

6. Fire all NCAA Division 1 Basketball refs. These guys are the worst officials in all of sports and that says a lot because officiating is pretty awful everywhere. Hire some young up and comers and tell them two things, one call the game consistent and second call what actually happens instead of what you speculate is going to happen.

5. Realign College football so it makes sense again. I have no problem with the direction of college football overall. It is what it is. But what I do have a problem with is Miami playing Cal in a conference game. What the hell are we doing here? I’ll reorganize things geographically and it will all make sense again.

4. Once you become an adult you get 1 favorite team for each sport to cheer for and 1 college. Sure you can occasionally cheer for other teams. I watch every NFL game I can and I am always sort of cheering for one team or the other. But some adults out there are out of control. I have one buddy who is a Raiders fan but because they are obviously terrible he also cheers for the Bills, Packers and now the Lions. I mean, come on, the Lions and Packers are in the same division. I had a friend named Luke who used to say you couldn’t cheer for a team unless you became a fan of that team when you were a little kid or you lived near the team for a significant amount of time. That seems fair enough but I once had a boss who was a Georgia football fan, a Kentucky basketball fan and a Cardinals baseball fan. He was technically playing by the rules but come on, he is just picking winning teams. And you should be forced to pick one college to cheer for everything on. The same guy never cared about Kentucky football or Georgia basketball. So part of your registering to vote will be declaring your fandom.

3. I will have a staff member make a montage of bad calls that effect each game in the NFL each week and those of us who are Chiefs fans will have access to the montage in order to send it to people in response to all their dumb comments about the refs being for the Chiefs and the league being rigged.

2. There will be a salary cap in baseball. The Yankees are playing the Dodgers in the World Series. No one saw that coming. Sure a small market team can make the playoffs but certain teams have so much more capital it is ridiculous and impossible to stay competitive long term. The Yankees payroll was basically the same as the Royals, Tigers and Guardians combined. Why is the NFL great? Because a team goes from last to first in their division each season. Every game can be close because the talent gap is not dramatically wide between the worst and best team. This is one of the reasons it is the most watched sport in America. It’s time for Baseball to get on board.

1. Move the Super Bowl to the Sunday before President’s day. Literally no one is productive the day after the Super Bowl anyway. This way we can all eat and drink as much as we want and stay up as late as we want and then recover the next day. Does this diminish President’s day? Not anymore than our current candidates have. So hey, if we have to suffer through these idiots running our country, the least they can do is give us the day after the Super Bowl off.

There you go. When you go to place your vote my official name is Jeffrey David Campbell.

Tune in tomorrow for 5 for Friday.

Another week, another Chiefs win and a slew of injuries. If you are anything like me you are quickly running out of players on your fantasy teams. This week we rank these teams based upon fast food restaurants. Let’s dive in.

Captain D’s: Browns, Jags, Patriots, Titans and Panthers

There is something unsettling about fast food seafood. What’s worse than fast food seafood? The worst of the fast food seafood restaurants. These teams are awful, gross to watch play and you avoid them so much that you’d rather watch the rest of these bad teams instead.

Long John Silver’s: Dolphins, Giants, Saints

You cannot convince me that eating any fast food seafood is a good idea. But I did used to eat at Long John Silver’s once a year to remind myself why I don’t eat at Long John Silver’s. And they randomly have chicken as well. All of these teams are terrible but at some point this season they did look good for at least one game.

Taco Bell: Raiders

The Raiders are trash. Which is where that Taco Bell you just bought should go.

KFC: Rams, Jets, Cardinals

KFC should be good. It has a bunch of stuff in theory that I love. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, Mac and Cheese. This sounds like the perfect meal. Unfortunately when these things are made by KFC, they are not good. All these teams on paper looked good entering the season but turns out when put into action they are quite the opposite.

Burger King: Colts, Broncos, Chargers, Seahawks and Falcons

I don’t eat at Burger King much but occasionally I do and I think this is actually pretty good. And so I go back again but all of the sudden it isn’t good the second time. Sort of like how these teams are good one week and terrible the next.

Hardees/Carl Jr.: Steelers and Bengals

Hardees is actually pretty good but you feel sick immediately after eating it. It just feels gross in general. These teams being successful make me sick as well. And just like I don’t go to Hardees anymore, I refuse to cheer for these teams.

McDonalds: Cowboys and 49ers

McDonalds was awesome in the 80s and 90s just like these teams but they are all still living on what was and haven’t done anything great since then.

Subway: Eagles, Bears, Bucs, and Texans

Subway is never bad. It’s also never great. Sometimes it can be pretty good. Other times the bread is stale and the middle eastern man who was a lawyer in his old land, stares into your soul while he stingily places hardly any meat on your sandwich. These teams have shown to be really good at times and other times they are pretty average.

Arby’s: Packers, Bills and Commanders

Arby’s isn’t winning any awards but they seldom completely let you down. Maybe the curly fries are a little stale but the roast beef comes through. Maybe the Arby’s sandwich maker for whatever reason has a hard time slapping the roast beef evenly on the bun, but that time the Curly fries are hot and fresh. It’s never all bad at Arby’s. These teams don’t look like they are winning the Super Bowl but they seldom look terrible and always have some good moments each game.

Chick-Fil-A: Ravens, Lions and Vikings

Now we’re talking. Chick-Fil-A is the Mercedes Benz of fast food. They have good food, incredible service and a whole system in place that doesn’t always seem to make sense but always comes through clutch. These teams are the best of rest and are championship contenders. They are the clear kings of the league right now just like Chick-Fil-A is the king of fast food.

Joe’s KC BBQ: Chiefs

The problem for the rest of the league is the Chiefs are in their own league. They are basically in their own category. Joe’s BBQ is in their own category for me. Not only is it significantly better than fast food, it is the best BBQ out there. Sure it can be messy but even when it isn’t that good, it is still better than everything else. The Chiefs haven’t looked their best. Their games are messy and they haven’t played exceptionally well. But here they are 6-0 and the only undefeated team in the league. They are a class above the rest of the league.

Tune it tomorrow for Top 10 Thursday!