Fifth Down

Well, we are halfway through the season and we are starting to have a better idea of who is good and who isn’t. Although, I’m not sure anyone is great yet. Let’s dive in to the always accurate, unbiased, and best rankings in all the land.

Trash with Draft Picks: Jets

The Jets were already a disaster and they just traded arguably their best two players. They wouldn’t trade their 3rd best player to the Chiefs because the Chiefs offered a 4th round pick and instead they wanted a 3rd round pick. This way, Breece Hall can just leave in free agency and they can get nothing for him. They did get quite the draft haul for the other two guys. Not that it matters, I’m sure they will screw it up.

Titanically bad: Titans

I was all set to put the Titans as the worst team after I saw a stat going into week 9 that their point differential was -120. But they put up a decent fight this week and only lost by 7 so I kept them just slightly ahead of the Jets.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

The Raiders finally show up offensively and play half way decent and still find a way to lose. They are a special bunch, I tell ya.

So bad that they aren’t even fun to make fun of at this point: Dolphins, Browns and Saints

They are all sad in their own little way. I’m sure I’ll get back to making fun of them next week but for now they get the week off, just like what their offenses do most weeks.

Probably going to lose 48 to 47 this week: Bengals

The Bengals are on a bye this week. I stand by this prediction.

NFC Least: Cowboys, Commanders, Giants

Commanders are injured and really haven’t played great this year anyway. The Cowboys can’t stop anyone and now their offense sucks too. The Giants are still slightly fun but not as much fun as they were. Also, what’s with the gruesome injuries in this division? First Skattebo and this week Jayden Daniels.

Not good but poised to mess things up: Cardinals, Texans and Falcons

None of these teams are making the playoffs. But something tells me they are going to beat a team or two and keep that team out of the playoffs.

Sort of good with a shot: Bears, Vikings, Panthers, and Jaguars

All these team have some life in them and they all won this week. I think they all miss the playoffs but they still got a shot to sneak in.

Minimal room for error: Ravens and Chiefs

I think both of these teams can be really good, even great. But they are both behind where they need to be record wise. They can’t lose many more. The Ravens really need to win the next couple to get back to .500. The Chiefs can lose the next two and still make the playoffs but it would all but ruin their chances of winning their 10th straight AFC West title. I don’t think anyone would be excited to play either in the playoffs. But at this point one or both could get left out.

Depends on the week: Steelers, Lions and Packers

Some weeks I think this team is for real. And other times, they are losing to the Bengals or losing home games to the Vikings or Panthers.

Good but too injured: Chargers and 49ers

I have much respect for what both teams have accomplished. I think both are good, I’m just not sure if either can get enough wins with all their injuries to limp into the playoffs.

Back to Bake show after the bye?: Bucs

The Bucs had the week off. They weren’t playing great going into the bye. Will they return to their earlier form? Let’s hope so.

Super Bowl Picks looking better: Bills and Eagles

Both teams have looked good the last couple of weeks with big wins in week 8 and the eagles on a bye (hard to screw that up) and improving their team via trade and the Bills beating up on the Chiefs this week.

Cinderella slipper cracking?: Colts and Patriots

The Colts got beat up pretty good this week. The Patriots almost lost to the bi-polar Falcons at home. No one predicted either of these teams to be elite but their Cinderella stories have been fun so far. We will see if the magic holds up in the coming weeks as their schedules get a little more difficult.

Last Year’s Chiefs: Broncos

The Broncos are inconsistent on offense, real good on defense and find ways to win close games. I think they are a little more explosive than last year’s Chiefs at least at this point in the season. They have won 6 in a row and is about to be 7 when they beat the Raiders on Thursday night. Then they get a mini bye and get ready to host the Chiefs. If they win that, the rest of their schedule isn’t any harder and probably easier than the first half. I think you are looking at the AFC west champs.

Best of the West…and the league: Rams and Seahawks

These two teams are tough. I think they are the best two teams in the league right now. Ironically, one of them isn’t even going to finish first in their own division. They are more consistent on offense than the Broncos and I’d argue just as good on defense. They don’t have the pass rush that the Broncos have but I think they are better at other spots that make up for it. At this point in the season, these are the two best teams in my opinion.

1st half awards:

MVP: Matt Stafford

Offensive Player: Jonathan Taylor

Defensive Player: Nik Bonitto

Offensive rookie: Jaxson Dart

Defensive rookie: Abdul Carter

Comeback player: CMC

Super Bowl Prediction: sticking with Eagles over Bills…for now but will update weekly

It’s been a while since I have actually got this done on Friday but look at me go this week. It’s a good slate of games so let’s dive in!

Let’s get defensive: Broncos @ Texans

The Broncos are 6-2 and riding high (see what I did there? because you ride horses and a bronco is a horse) after destroying the Cowboys. They take their stingy D and their 5 last quarter explosive offense on the road to visit the Texans. The Texans have been up and down this year to say the least but just shut down the 49ers at home last week and their offense even looked somewhat functional. While the Broncos defense gets a lot of hype and media attention, the Texans defense is also elite. While they are only 3-4, it is not because of their defense. It has been their offensive woes that have created the problems for their team. They have also dealt with a lot of injuries offensively. But it does appear that they will get most of them back this week. Meanwhile, the Broncos are now dealing with some injuries of their own, mainly last year’s defensive player of the year, Patrick Surtain. He is out this game and perhaps a few others. If the Texans can exploit him being gone, they have a real shot. The problem is their offensive line is not good and they are facing the best pass rush in the league. I’ll be impressed if they can figure it out and get the win. On the flipside, I’ll also be impressed if the Broncos offense looks as good as it has the past 5 quarters against this great Texans D. I don’t think either of those things happen and I leave this game feeling the same as I already do about these teams, that the Texans are pretty good but have too many weaknesses that keep them from being a contender and the Broncos are a solid and scrappy playoff team that isn’t elite quite yet. Broncos win a close one.

Broncos 23 Texans 20

Indiana Jones vs Rodgers Last Crusade: Colts @ Steelers

The Colts have the best record in football, just like we all expected. Daniel Jones is playing at high level, Jonathan Taylor is unstoppable and they have plenty of other weapons running around. Their defense is playing great and they are 7-1 and their one loss is in a game they really should have won. They do have 2 good wins against the Broncos (a game they probably should have lost) and the Chargers. But their other wins are against the dolphins, raiders, cardinals and titans twice. Starting this week they head into the tougher part of their schedule. The Steelers on the other hand were once 4-1 but have dropped two in a row due to a defense that can’t seem to stop anyone. Now they are in danger of dropping to .500 and being just a game a head of the Ravens who looked flightless just a few weeks ago. Coming into the year, the question was if Rodgers could still play. Well, he has played and played well. Their problem somehow has become their defense. Can they turn it around against the high riding Colts? I think it is unlikely. Who would have thought that we would be excited to watch Daniel Jones and Aaron Rodgers dual it out in a shoot out back in August? But yet, here we are. The Colts have too much working for them right now. They will lose a few more games this year but this won’t be one of them.

Colts 30 Steelers 20

The “stop what you are doing and watch” game: Chiefs at Bills

The Bills beat the Chiefs in the regular season. The Chiefs beat the Bills in the post season. We have watched this show 10 times the last 6 years or so. And it’s been beautiful every time. Minus a few blow outs early on in the series, including one in an AFC championship game, the last few have all been close and just great television. The 13 second game. The game where Mahomes lost his mind after Kadarius Toney was offsides on one of the craziest touchdowns that didn’t count. Probably the low point for Mahomes publicly which he apologized for but hey, he’s human after all. Then the hurdling and jumping and diving of Allen to win in the regular season games. And then the last two playoff games, Mahomes outdueling Allen and Spags and the D coming up with the key stops. I don’t know what is going to happen in this one but you will be entertained. Both teams have 5 wins and the Chiefs have an extra loss. They both need to win this game to stay within reach of the top teams in their division. An unusual place for these teams to be. The Bills dropped two in a row before the bye but just blew out the Panthers. The Chiefs after starting 0-2, have won 5 of their last 6 including 3 in a row. Can they make it 4 in a row in an hostile environment? I say yes. The Chiefs are playing well on both sides of the ball currently ranking in the top 5 on both defense and offense. Meanwhile, the Bills are struggling a bit on both sides of the ball and are a little banged up as well. The Bills will put up a good fight, and I won’t even be shocked if they win. But I think Pat and the Chiefs break their regular season losing to the Bills and get the W.

Chiefs 30 Bills 22

Battle of last year’s darling quarterbacks: Seahawks @ Commanders

Last year was the resurgence of Sam Darnold. Actually it was the only time he has been good. But he was real good…except the last couple of games. He got signed by Seattle and it has worked out pretty good. Darnold hasn’t quite been as elite as he was last year but he is still playing very well. Jayden Daniels has played well too…he has just barely played due to injuries. He was amazing last year as a rookie leading his team to the NFC championship. Now they are in danger of missing the playoffs in a must win game. And he will be without his best receiver since scary Terry is hurt. The Seahawks have a stingy defense and their offense is solid as well. They are the better team in my opinion and the Commanders just got walloped by the Chiefs and have lost 3 in a row. This seems like a Jayden Daniels moment. Can’t lose game, check. Undermanned, check. Primetime game, check. My mind is telling me to go with Seattle but the heart wants what the heart wants. My gut says Jayden does something special and they pull out the victory.

Commanders 28 Seahawks 27

The Fantasy Football game: Cardinals @ Cowboys

I don’t typically write about two bad teams that have a combined 5 wins in week 9. But it is the stand alone game on Monday night. And even though it has little regular football appeal or meaning…fantasy football owners across the land will be tuning in to see if there guy can help them come back and win their fantasy match. Across my 3 teams I have Javonte Williams (on two teams), Ceedee Lamb, and Marvin Harrison assuming I decide to start him. Which I mean, I know he hasn’t been great, but that Dallas secondary…I got to start him, right? right? I’ll probably start him. I like having a player on Monday night because it feels like you still have a shot, even if that shot is just 1% according to Yahoo Sports. Other players that people will be counting on are George Pickens, Trey McBride, those folks who smartly picked up Bam Knight for the week, of course Dak Prescott and for some desperate fellows, Kyler Murray. So while this game has no real life meaning or purpose, I’ll be tuned in. Assuming Youtube tv has worked out things with ESPN by then. Can I get the Monday night game through the Disney app? I bet I can. Take that Youtube tv. Anyhoo, I’ve got to predict a winner I guess. The Cowboys are at home and they are way better there. And the Cardinals are just generally unlucky and kind of a mess. So I’ll go Cowboys. But the real winners will be fantasy owners across the land.

Cowboys 34 Cardinals 24

Ravens got their mojo back. The Dolphins finally won a game. They face off in a somewhat exciting, what else are you gonna watch, match tonight. Here are 10 reasons to tune in.

10. Tua in row?

Tua wasn’t terrible last week. In fact, he was quite good. He went 20 for 26 for 205 yards and 4 touchdowns. Apparently he could only see through one eye, so maybe that’s the trick he needed. Can he make it two good games in a row?

9. Is the Ravens D back?

The Ravens defense was horrendous early this year. But that was the case last year and they turned it around. They have been much better the last two games. Can they keep it rolling?

8. Watch Waddle…waddle

One of my favorite td celebrations is when Jaylen Waddle scores a td and then waddles around like a duck. There is a good chance it happens this game.

7. Return of Lamar

Lamar is back and is finally healthy enough to play. When he was playing they were averaging like 30 points a game. So there should be some scoring in this one.

6. Watch Mike McDaniel lose his job.

The Dolphins are 2-6. A loss in this one all but seals their playoff fate. There isn’t much hope as is, but dropping to 2-7 would make it all but impossible. I don’t see how this guy keeps his job even he makes it through the season.

5. See how many times the broadcast mentions the fact that the Ravens removed the toys from the locker room.

Apparently Lamar decided the team was having too much fun while losing so they took out the video games, ping pong tables and tv’s. Ironically Lamar did this while he wasn’t even playing and it didn’t seem to help that much, but it will be brought up, I’m sure.

4. Costume contest

It’s the day before Halloween so we are bound to get some good costumes in the stadium. You’ll probably see skeletons and ghosts and monsters and dolphin fans dressed up as empty seats. Plus Mike McDaniel dressed up like an NFL coach.

3. It won’t be as long as game 3 of the World Series

Everyone loves a close game with extra periods. But don’t fret, the longest this game will go is one overtime, so you don’t have to worry about being up until 1 in the morning watching this one.

2. See John Harbaugh with a dumb, confused look on his face.

This happens every game at some point.

1. Watch the AFC North Champs get closer to their division title

I’m holding strong to both my preseason prediction as well as what I said after the Steelers lost to the Bengals. The Ravens are winning the North. Tonight’s victory will get them that much closer to that.

8 weeks have come and gone and we are starting to see the have’s separate themselves from the have nots as most of the games were blow outs this week. I’m still not 100% sure who is good yet but I definitely know who is bad. Let’s dive in.

Won a game but still trash: Jets

Putting up 39 points on the Bengals defense is sort of like winning a game in Madden on the rookie level. Sure you won but it’s nothing to celebrate about.

Fired their coach but still suck: Titans

Usually a team gets a little boost for a week or two when they fire their coach. The Titans were like, nah.

Were on a bye and still almost lost: Raiders

It was a close one, but the Raiders survived the weekend without a loss.

Bad and getting less frisky: Saints, Cardinals, and Browns

All these teams are bad and seem to be getting worse each week.

Bad but finally frisky: Dolphins

Hey, I see you Dolphins! I’m sure you will go back to your loser ways on Thursday but nice road win on Sunday.

Lost to the Jets: Bengals

The fact that the Bengals are just now showing up on the list after losing to the Jets tells you how bad the teams listed already truly are.

Getting less fun due to gruesome injuries: Giants

The fun and cocky young Giants have been humbled the last two weeks with a 4th quarter collapse two weeks ago and an all around beat down this week. To add to the painful experience they lost Cam Skattebo for the year to an injury that you don’t want to see if you haven’t already and if you did see it, you are going to spend the rest of the week trying to erase it from your memory. I’m in the second category unfortunately.

Kirk Cousins isn’t the answer and neither is who else they have at quarterback: Falcons and Vikings

These teams have solid rosters with good coaches but they have a quarterback problem that I don’t think is getting solved this week.

Tamed Cats: Jaguars and Panthers

The Panthers were looking pretty good until they had to start Andy Dalton this week and got totally demolished by the Bills. The Jags haven’t won a game since pulling out a miracle against the Chiefs a while back on Monday night football.

Depressing D in Dallas: Cowboys

It turns out, you need good players on both sides of the ball after all.

Bearly good: Bears

Even without Lamar playing the Ravens did exactly what I thought they would against the Bears. Ironically the Bears last year were also 4-2. They finished 5-12. Here’s hoping a better outcome this year for Bears fans.

Saved their seasons: Ravens and Texans

Both these teams badly needed wins and got them. I’m not sure that it matters that much for the Texans but I stand by the fact that I think the Ravens can win their division. If they win on Thursday night and the Steelers lose to the Colts which both are likely, they will just be 1 game back in the division lead.

Steel Curtain is actually made of plastic: Steelers

The problem is actually not Aaron Rodgers and the offense. The problem is they are giving up 300 yards passing and 30 points a game. The Colts are next. Ouch.

Injuries adding up: Commanders and 49ers

I actually think both these teams are good. They are just out of healthy dudes.

Looked Tough: Bills, Eagles, Broncos, Chargers

This starts a run of 12 teams that I think have a real shot at winning this thing. They all have some issues but any of them could win multiple playoff games. I’m guessing the order of these 12 will move around some over the coming weeks but I am pretty confident these are all good teams. The Bills and Chargers both won easily against subpar opponents. The Broncos and Eagles showed what they can do when they play all 4 quarters. I’m not sure what either of them were doing still throwing the ball up by 20 late in the 4th quarter but hey, too each their own.

Scrappy but need to get healthy: Bucs

The Bucs are still winning but they need to get some offensive guys back. Baker hasn’t looked the same the last couple of weeks. This bye comes at a good time.

Legit looking Lions:

The Lions looked great the last time we saw them against the Bucs. They have tougher games ahead that will tell the story of whether they are truly legit or not.

Dynastic Duo: Patriots and Chiefs

These two teams also beat bad teams. After slow first half starts the Patriots put up a ton of points on a tough Browns Defense and the Chiefs continue to be dominant on both sides of the ball for the 4th straight week.

Play to the level of their competition: Packers

It seems like the Packers can’t quite play the same way all the time. But I like their chances in the playoffs because they seem to rise to the occasion when playing better teams. They looked great the second half last night and have the best record in the NFC.

Bye, Bye 49ers: Rams and Seahawks

Both teams had a bye and benefited from a 49ers loss. This is helpful because it puts them a half game a head which is especially helpful since the 49ers beat both of them. I trust the Rams more when it counts because Matt Stafford has been great in the playoffs and Sam Darnold has well…not done so well.

Still Rolling: Colts

The Colts continue to roll and look like a dominant team led by Daniel Jones. I know, I’m as shocked as you are.

Tonight is a real doozey. The Vikings will head on the road to visit the Chargers. I’m sure plenty of Vikings fans will make the trip. And there will be plenty of seats available for them since the Chargers don’t have any fans. But why should you spend your Thursday night watching these two teams battle it out? Here are 10 reasons why.

10. See which team Carson Wentz throws touchdowns to.

Wentz is a sporadic player but he’s got a good arm and is going to throw some touchdowns. To which team? Only time will tell, but I’m betting both teams.

9. See who gets hurt for the Chargers.

Every week someone goes down. They’ve lost at least 3 linemen and 3 running backs and I believe some defensive guys too. I don’t know who will be next, but it will be someone.

8. See how many people are dressed up like Vikings.

Halloween is right around the corner. And Vikings fans love to dress up as Vikings all the time anyway. So see how many people dressed up like Vikings in the crowd you can see. Since it is a road game, I’m setting the over/under at 3.5 in case you want to play along.

7. Watch them show clips of Jim Harbaugh during warm ups as they talk about what a great coach he is.

Look at him. He’s catching a football. Now he’s throwing a football. Now he is pretending to block someone. He’s amazing.

6. See if 6-7 is referenced.

This is all the rage with the kids, according to my 16 year old son and especially my 13 year old daughter. They explained what it means. I still don’t understand it and I’m not sure they do either. But of course us adults can’t let them have their thing so I’m sure eventually enough adults will say it on tv that it will no longer be cool with middle schoolers.

5. See Kevin O’Connell stare up at the replay board dreaming of Sam Darnold.

Kevin can win with anyone, but it seems to be easier to win with someone not named Carson Wentz or JJ McCarthy.

4. Watch everyone gush over Justin Herbert.

The Sports media loves them some Herbert. You know what doesn’t love Herbert? The post season.

3. Watch Justin Jefferson do Justin Jefferson things.

Jefferson is real good. Pretty much every game he does something special.

2. Watch Kimani Vidal and Oronde Gadsen get shut down by the Vikings D.

I got both these guys starting on one of my fantasy teams so I only assume they will do poorly.

1. Watching two slightly above average football teams is more entertaining than anything else right now.

My wife often asks, what do you want to watch tonight. We literally just watch reruns of the office and football. So take a break from your office marathon and watch these two pretty injured teams battle it out.

We are 7 weeks done after another Monday night double header. I’m not a fan of multiple Monday night games. Not because I don’t want more football but because I don’t want to hear Dan Orlovsky talk anymore. He is the PFF of announcers. He used to be original and insightful. But now he is working so hard to sound smart that he actually sounds dumb. Anyway, you know what isn’t dumb? My always perfect and accurate rankings. Let’s dive in.

Hot Garbage in a new bag: Jets

They are just so bad. But they benched their quarterback. So basically they are switching from hefty to glad but it’s still trash on the inside.

Slightly less stinky but still trash: Raiders, Titans and Dolphins

Raiders had 3 first downs while running 30 plays on Sunday. The only reason they didn’t lose by 50 was because Andy Reid is a nice guy. The Dolphins got rolled by the Browns. Yes you read that correctly. Tua has lost all respect and apparently the ability to play football as well. Titans got a new coach and it helped…for a whole quarter. Then they were back to their old selves.

Not offensive: Browns and Texans

A little double meaning here. These teams have great defenses but their offenses suck. But they aren’t completely offensive to watch.

Scrappy but not good: Saints, Cardinals and Giants

All 3 of these teams will put up some points and stick around in games. And sometimes they completely implode to lose games they obviously should have won.

Kind of a mess: Commanders, Vikings, and Panthers

All these teams are kind of good but sort of fall apart at times. Some of it is injuries. Some of it is inconsistency. Some of it is having Carson Wentz as your quarterback.

Depends on the week: Falcons

One week I’m like look at the Falcons, I think they could make the playoffs. Then the next week I’m like look at the Falcons, they suck again.

The Replacements: Joe Flacco and the Bengals

I cannot wait until Joe Burrow gets healthy and comes back to the team and arrogantly starts to tell everyone what to do and yells at the Bengals deaf tight end and leads the Bengals to a disastrous first half only to have Flacco hop off his house boat show up in the locker room at half time and for Zac Taylor to be rocking a tom laundry hat and say “What took you so long?” To which he will respond, “traffic.” Flacco will lead them to glory after the inspiring words, “pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory is forever.” They win the game and then celebrate with strippers dressed up as cheerleaders. It’s gonna be awesome.

About to go on a run or be eliminated: Ravens

If you look at their schedule, the Ravens could win the next 8 games and be sitting 8-5. They could also lose to the Bears this week and be done.

Don’t get defensive: Cowboys

Dallas is the anti Texans and Browns. They can score on anyone. But everyone also typically scores more than them.

Grin and Bear it: Bears

Hey they Bears aren’t terrible. That should be enough to have Bears fans smiling.

Goodish: Steelers, Chargers, Jaguars

All these teams could make the playoffs. But they all sort of have issues that I think will keep them out. The Steelers are old, the Chargers are injured and the Jags are…well…the Jags.

At least they have Josh Allen: Bills

The Bills are going to be in it. They have Josh Allen. But their weapons aren’t very good. Their defense isn’t very good and I’m not sure their coach is very good. But they will still probably win 13 games.

Really, really good…sometimes: Eagles and Broncos

The Eagles are the best team in football for parts of lots of games. But they can’t seem to put 4 quarters together which makes me less high on them as others. The Broncos are dysfunctional on offense for like 3 and a half quarters and then they look like the early 2000’s Rams playing a middle school defense the last half a quarter. It’s bizarre. I’m not sure if it is sustainable so either they will start playing better throughout the whole game or just not be good on offense. Time will tell.

I think they are good but they better start playing like it: Packers

The Packers are 4-1-1 but really haven’t looked great since week 2. They got to get their stuff together starting this week or I’m moving them back.

The Dynasty Duo: Chiefs and Patriots

Both teams played really well and dominated their games. Those games were against the Raiders and Titans so I can’t move them up too much.

Bake show got baked: Bucs

Woof, that was a rough game. I think they will bounce back but they got a lot of injuries and didn’t have a lot of answers last night.

Dominant in Detroit: Lions

They are a good team. They are a really good team at home during the regular season. Not sure it will translate when it matters but you never know.

NFC West minus the Cardinals: 49ers, Rams, Seahawks

They aren’t perfect and they all have their strengths and weaknesses but they can all win in weird scenarios and without some of their guys. I’m still not sure the 49ers can sustain this success with the injuries. I’m not sure that Sam Darnold won’t become the Sam Darnold of old at any moment. But both teams are getting it done right now. The Rams are the team I have the most confidence in of the 3.

Just like we all expected: Colts

7 weeks in, as we all expected, the team with the best record in the NFL is the Colts. They have been the most consistent team through 7 weeks. As Daniel Jones said after the game to the media, “I guess you guys didn’t know very much.” He’s not wrong. If he keeps playing the way he has they have enough around him to be dangerous come January.

Better late than never, here are some storylines and predictions for today.

The Rivalry that used to be: Raiders @ Chiefs

Growing up in the 90s, these games were back and forth nasty, battles with real fights during the games. But since the Raiders made the Super Bowl in 2002, they have basically done nothing. Nothing has been even less since Mahomes became the Chiefs QB. He is 12-2 against the Raiders. The only good news for the Raiders is those 2 wins were at Arrowhead. The Raiders are already bad but they will also be without their best receiver and tight end today. Meanwhile, the Chiefs will finally have all their weapons back with the return of Rashee Rice. The offense is clicking like is hasn’t since 2022. The defense has been a little up and down but definitely has the opportunity to be up against what’s left of the raiders offense. Pete Carrol said before the season that he has been winning 10 games forever. Well this year isn’t forever. Barring a complete meltdown, the Chiefs should win this one and for my blood pressure, hopefully they win easily.

Chiefs 34 Raiders 17

Revenge of the Wentz: Eagles @ Vikings

The Eagles head to Minnesota after losing 2 straight. The Vikings were on a bye last week after playing two games overseas. The Vikings were really excited about JJ McCarthy until they saw him play. He also got hurt too I guess. Since then they have gone to Carson Wentz who the Eagles dumped a few years back. It’s gone pretty well overall with Wentz and if they win this they will have a real decision to make between him and McCarthy. Meanwhile, the Eagles limp into this one after blowing a lead to the Broncos 2 weeks ago and getting blown out by the Giants last week. I’m not sure what happened to the Eagles. All of the sudden they can’t run the ball, Hurts is turning it over and the defense isn’t stopping anyone. It doesn’t get any easier as the Vikings defense is good. In good news, the Vikings defensive weakness is the run game. So perhaps this will be a get right game for Barkley and the Eagles. If they don’t get the run game going today, they might be in trouble. While, I’d like to pick Wentz to win one and get back at his old team, I think the Eagles run over the Vikings and get Wentz to make a couple of mistakes.

Eagles 24 Vikings 20

Broncos D turns Skattebo into Skateboo-hoo: Giants @ Broncos

I like what the Giants have going on. Jaxson Dart and Cam Skattebo are both a lot of fun and brought new energy to a team that was pretty sad. The are basically college kids having fun running around like idiots and I’m glad I am here for it. On the other side of the ball, the Broncos are tied for first place in the AFC West and also beat the Eagles recently. Their defense is insanely good and have an amazing league leading 30 sacks. They are on pace for 85 sacks. To put that into perspective, the record for any team is 72. The offense has been sporadic to say the least. At times they look unstoppable and other times they can’t get a first down. Since starting Dart, the Giants are 2-1 with two wins at home against two good teams. Their loss however is on the road in a sloppy 5 turnover game against the lowly Saints. This is on the road against a very good defense so as much as I would love to predict the youngsters winning this one, I just don’t see it. Dart will make too many mistakes today.

Broncos 27 Giants 13

Indiana Jones vs the Savannah Bananas: Colts @ Chargers

Daniel Jones and the Colts have been on a tear with only one loss against the Rams which they should have won. Jonathan Taylor is running over everyone and Danny Dimes is playing mistake free football. The defense has been solid and their rookie tight end is a machine. I don’t think any of us saw this coming but good for the Colts. Meanwhile, the Chargers will be wearing their Savannah banana outfits. You’ll get it when you see it. They are still down a couple of offensive linemen still and their rookie running back. Herbert is playing well but may have a hard time staying upright in this one. In a close game like this I tend to go with the home team. But the Chargers never really play at home. The Colts keep it rolling in this one.

Colts 30 Chargers 20

Birds fly west for the fall: Falcons @ what’s left of the 49ers

Oh, the poor 49ers. They have more injuries than any team I have ever seen before. They are banged up once again and Mac Jones will start another one. In good news, they should get George Kittle back. That should help some but it is still rough times for the 49ers. Meanwhile, the Falcons will try to do something they haven’t done all year, put 2 good games in a row together. They upset the Bills on Monday night and now head west to try to keep the momentum going. Bijan Robinson has been amazing and Drake London has been tearing up secondaries. It really all comes down to Michael Pennix playing mistake free football. This should be easier with all the injuries the 49ers have on defense including being down their top two defenders in Fred Warner and Nick Bosa. The 49ers are scrappy and Shanahan will have them ready but I think the pressure from the Falcons D and the injuries on the 49ers D will be too much for them to overcome.

Falcons 24 49ers 20

The Bake Show takes the cooking to dirty D: Bucs @ Lions

The Lions and their fans are still upset about their player being penalized for punching a guy after the game. Because the Chiefs were mean to him during the game. The offense should get back on track as they are at home and Goff is always better in doors. I think they score a lot in this one with all the weapons at his disposal. The problem is they are missing all their secondary guys. We thought that the Bucs were going to be short handed on offense as it was predicted that they would be without their top 3 receivers. Godwin is out but it looks like Mike Evans will play. Egbuka now has a shot to play too. Regardless, I trust Baker throwing to anyone against what is left of the Detroit secondary. I’ll take the Bake show in a shootout.

Bucs 38 Lions 31

Tonight is the Steelers and Bengals in what Cam Heyward deemed the Icy Hot Bowl because two old quarterbacks, Joe Flacco and Aaron Rodgers are going to battle it out. Now you may be thinking, old quarterbacks and Bengals and Steelers, why would I want to watch this? Well let me tell you why.

10. Watch Joe Flacco become Shane Falco.

If you have not watched the Replacements, shame on you. But in that movie, Keanu Reeves stops cleaning barnacles off his little house boat to win football games. Which is what Flacco is going to do tonight. Minus the cleaning of the barnacles.

9. Lots of sacks.

Neither of these guys can move. So there should be a plethora of sacks.

8. The Bengals become the zebras.

I’m not talking about refs. The Bengals are breaking out the all white uniforms tonight. I don’t like the Bengals but I do like those uniforms.

7. See how long it takes for DK Metcalf to start some stuff.

DK is a real solid receiver and even more solid fighter over nothing guy. I’m thinking by late first quarter he has already gotten into a scuffle.

6. Ja’Maar Chase go off…again.

I don’t like Chase. But he is really good at football. I’m sure he will have a big game.

5. Josh Allen is your fantasy QB, but he is on a bye so you have to start Aaron Rodgers tonight.

This is how I am going to convince my wife to watch this crap show tonight because she is in this situation.

4. See how many times the announcers mention how old the Quarterbacks are.

You know this is going to come up…a lot. Which is sort of ironic since Al Michaels is like 90.

3. Speaking of Al Michaels, tune in to see what color his hair is.

Al is old but obviously dyes his hair. I’m just not sure what color he is going for. Brown, Black, Orange? We’ve got to figure this out.

2. See what gets stuck in Mike Tomlin’s beard.

That thing gets out of control and grabs some spit, food and other things. Let’s see what gets in their tonight.

1. As bad as this game is, it’s still better than baseball.

Sure there are some playoff games on today, but let’s be honest. Bad football is better than great baseball. And pretty much all of the baseball games this round have been blow outs anyway. And I am betting this football game will be close.

The NFL regular season is a 3rd of the way through, and we still have no idea who is really good or not. But of all the rankings, here are the most accurate ones out there. Let’s dive in.

Hot Garbage but this time in London: Jets

Just when you thought the Jets couldn’t get any worse, Justin Fields got sacked 9 times and had only 9 completions and a net of -10 passing yards.

Lost to the Raiders: Titans

Enough said.

Beat the Titans: Raiders

I mean they won…but it’s not a huge accomplishment.

1-5 but they at least they aren’t the Titans or Jets: Browns, Dolphins, Saints

The Dolphins are a disaster and Tua is terrible and is calling out other players even though he threw 3 interceptions. The Browns are the Browns, nothing new there. The Saints play hard and seem well coached but are just out matched talent wise.

Bye, bye, bye: Ravens

This one has a double meaning. The Ravens are on a bye this week but they could really use 3 byes in a row to get everyone healthy. But also because they are bye, bye, bye because they are pretty much done.

Slightly less terrible: Bengals

Joe Flacco is better than Jake Browning. Not by a lot but enough to make them a little less awful.

Had a better week than last week: Cardinals

The Cardinals lost in a heartbreaker to the Colts. But they can’t feel any worse than they did last week.

Didn’t play last week and no one noticed: Vikings and Texans

Did you know these teams were on bye this past week? I bet you didn’t notice. Just like you won’t notice when they aren’t in the playoffs.

New York who? Dart and Skattebo: Giants

I know it isn’t sustainable and I’m sure they will get humbled this week against a very good Broncos D. But they sure are fun right now.

Sort of good sometimes: Cowboys, Falcons, Commanders, Panthers and Bears

All these teams have had flashes of good and bad. But every time I think one of these teams is good they lose the next week.

Good…I guess: Broncos and Chargers

I mean they are 4-2 and lead their division but the Chargers are running out of guys and barely beat the Dolphins. The Broncos offense is wildly inconsistent and probably would have lost to the Jets if the Jets could complete a pass.

Good…for now: Steelers and Jaguars

The Steelers seem to be playing well and so is Rodgers but at least the latter seems like it will be short lived. The Jaguars are scrappy but I think they will get exposed a little each week.

They’re going to be okay…I think…right?: Bills and Eagles

My two super bowl picks still have a ton of time to get right. But they sure haven’t looked right the last few weeks.

Really good against bad teams: Lions

The Lions looked bad in week 1 against the Packers. Then they won 4 straight against bad teams. This past weekend they looked bad against the Chiefs. They have the Bucs next.

Uh Oh: Chiefs and Patriots

Everyone hates a dynasty. Neither of these two teams have fully arrived yet but both are trending in the right direction and no one is going to like it.

NFC West minus the Cardinals: 49ers, Rams and Seahawks

The 49ers lost to the Bucs but they are so beat up and are still competitive. The Rams and Seahawks are competitive every week as well. This division is going to be interesting and at least 2 of them are going to make the playoffs and be a tough out.

Only 1 loss and seem good…but are they?: Packers and Colts

The Packers looked great the first two weeks but have looked so so the rest of the way. But they still have only 1 loss and potential. The Colts don’t have any great wins but they just keep winning. Jonathan Taylor has been amazing, Daniel Jones has been very good and the defense is solid. I don’t think they are as good as their record but they aren’t going anywhere.

Bake show: Bucs

The Bucs keep losing receivers and running backs and it just doesn’t matter because they have the Bake show! Baker has been awesome and the Bucs just keep winning. He’s the MVP through 6 weeks.

The last two weeks I predicted correct upsets. I also almost picked the Patriots over the Bills and obviously wished I would have. Let’s dive into this week’s games and see if I can keep my streak rolling.

Revolutionary Football: Broncos @ New York Jets but not in New York…just like when the Jets play in the United States

The NFL sends American football to London. If it wasn’t enough for us to win the war, now we are forcing our football on them. Which I got to say, I’m all for. That’s what you get for taxing our tea. Anyway, my wife’s favorite team plays the extra early game. It comes on at 7:30 AM where we live. My wife is a super dedicated fan. She watches every game win or lose. And there has been a lot of losing these last few years. But besides her family and Jesus, my wife loves one more thing more than her Broncos…sleep. If she sees any of this game, I’ll be impressed. She is dedicated. She is just more dedicated to sleep. It’s her favorite hobby. However, my super smart nephew, Nate will be at the game. He goes to school in England because you know…he is super smart. I once learned about England in college. He goes to college there. Anyway, he will be there to cheer on his Broncos and celebrate a little America in the country who’s butt we kicked to get our freedom from taxes. And now we live in that freedom paying a lot of taxes. Anyhoo, on to the football game. The Broncos are riding high after their victory over the Eagles last week. Get it riding high because people ride horses and Broncos are horses. Anyhoo, I’m still not sure how good the Broncos are and Bo Nix is a little reckless with the football at times. In good news, the Jets haven’t gotten a turnover yet and are terrible in general. I’m not sure if the Broncos are great yet, but they are definitely better than the Jets. My nephew gets to see his team win in another country. Take that England!

Broncos 30 Jets 16

Birds flying South: Seahawks @ Jaguars

The Seahawks are coming off a tough loss when Sam Darnold threw a ball off a guys helmet that lead to an interception and eventually a loss. Meanwhile, Trevor Lawrence fell down like 4 times but was still able to run in the game winning td on Monday night against the Chiefs. I think these are both solid teams but also not sure either has a real long shelf life in the post season. But they are going to compete week in and week out. I’m not sure which team is actually better. And neither does Vegas. The line has bounced around and finally landed on Seattle being a slight favorite. This is really a battle of quarterbacks I don’t really trust. But Seattle is down some secondary guys and has to travel through a few time zones to get there and play a game at 10 AM their time. I don’t feel great about picking either but the Jags have an opportunistic defense against a QB that can sometimes give those opportunities. Give me the home team in a close one.

Jaguars 24 Seahawks 20

Toilet bowl: Titans @ Raiders

Arguably the two worst teams are playing in Vegas this Sunday. The Titans one win came last week after the Cardinals completely imploded. Meanwhile, the Raiders haven’t won since week 1 and Geno seems to throw more interceptions each week. There is not much of a home advantage in Vegas for the Raiders. But also how many Titans fans are making the trip to watch this crap team. One of my favorite Friday Night Light episodes is called toilet bowl where the two worst teams, one of which is East Dillon, play in a game. It’s a great episode. This will not be a great game. And luckily I don’t have to watch it. But I do have to predict a winner. I think the Raiders are a slightly less crappy team but the Titans have at least a small bit of positivity around them right now. They ride the positivity to a victory in sin city.

Titans 23 Raiders 19

Return of the Mac vs Bake Show: 49ers @ Bucs

The often injured 49ers head to Tampa for an afternoon battle. The 49ers won an amazing upset victory at the Rams last Thursday. You would think the extra time off would have given them more time to get healthy but not so much. They are still down their QB and their best WR among other players. Meanwhile the Bucs are also down some players so in some ways this is a battle of banged up teams. Mac Jones has played well making me believe that you might be able to throw me in at QB in the Kyle Shanahan offense and do alright. Meanwhile, Baker has lead the Bucs to game winning drives every game but one. This has the makings of a close game since both teams are little short handed and play close games anyway. In a close game, you know who I am taking. Give me the Bake show for another crazy victory.

Bucs 30 49ers 24

Shake it off vs Shake it Goff: Lions @ Chiefs

The Lions come to KC on Sunday night with a depleted secondary but with the only active QB that Mahomes has faced and never beat. Goff tends to play well against the Chiefs but then again he has an insane amount of weapons to work with. Meanwhile, the Chiefs seem to be good at all the things they weren’t good at last year, mainly offense and bad at everything they were good at last year, everything else. The Lions have won 4 in a row against sub par opponents. The Chiefs have only wins are against sub par opponents. This has the makings of a shoot out because the Lions are really good offensively and their secondary is really banged up and the Chiefs seem to be back offensively. Because I am predicting a shoot out, the score will probably be 10-7. As a Chiefs fan, I don’t feel great about this game and have to remind myself that they have been in every game and a few plays going the other way they could have won any of them. At the same time it is unsettling that we haven’t won any of those close games after winning them all last year. Before the season started, I predicted the Chiefs would start 3-3. So I’m sticking with that and the Chiefs winning even though I don’t feel great about it. Pat makes a play at the end and we finally win a close one…I hope.

Chiefs 31 Lions 28

Hail Mary nightmares: Bears @ Commanders

The Bears had the Commanders beat last year in a battle of the two first picks from last year’s draft. And then Jayden Daniels threw a Hail Mary while a Bears DB celebrated and taunted the crowd. Whoops. It did not work out well for him. The Bears basically fell apart from there and the Commanders went on to make the NFC Championship. It was a tale of two teams headed in different directions. Now they are back but the Bears have a different coach. The Bears are definitely a more functional team this year. Meanwhile the Commanders have been banged up all year and are still missing their best receiver. This in theory has the makings for a big Caleb Williams break out game. Meanwhile, Jayden always seems to shine in these moments. I was tempted to pick the Bears in the upset but I just don’t trust Caleb at all. And I don’t have any reason not to trust Jayden. So give me the Commanders in this one.

Commanders 27 Bears 20

It’s Thursday, which means we got Thursday night football. I know most of us probably aren’t very excited for tonight’s game. So let me give you 10 reasons to watch tonight.

10. Watch Dart…Dart around.

Jaxson Dart has arguably the best football name in the league. He didn’t play all that well last week and probably won’t play very well tonight but he will run around and do some fun stuff so that’ll be fun.

9. See who AJ Brown keeps from scoring this week.

The last play of Sunday’s game, AJ knocked the ball out of Smith’s hands on the hail mary. Let’s see what he does tonight. I’m hoping he tackles Hurts on a tush push.

8. If you are in the area, you might get to play WR for the Giants

Dart isn’t real good at throwing the ball anyway, and is already down Malik Nabers and now down Darius Slayton. So if you are in the New Jersey area, stop by. You never know what might happen.

7. Barkley busts out

Saquon has not been himself this year. No one is sure why. But this seems like a logical time for Barkley to get his mojo back visiting the team that let him go. This is assuming the Eagles give him more than 6 carries.

6. Jamies Winston pep talk?

Winston is the 3rd string for the Giants and won’t play tonight unless a whole lot goes wrong. But just maybe we will get some video of Winston talking up the team. It’s worth tuning in to find out.

5. How much does Jalen Hurts throw the ball?

When Hurts throws a lot, the Eagles lose. When he doesn’t throw much they win. I’m not saying that he is the reason or it is his fault but the facts are what they are. Let’s see what they do tonight.

4. Watch Skattebo go skatteboom!

Speaking of fun Giants…Skattebo does not avoid contact and yeah he may fumble occasionally and he isn’t too fast. But hey he is going to run somebody over at some point.

3. See the results of the Eagles team meeting that last over an hour.

The Eagles apparently had a players meeting that lasted a long time. My guess is Jalen Hurts talked eloquently for 58 minutes of that hour. Let’s see if it pays off for them. Although I am not sure that you need a players only meeting to beat the Giants.

2. See which coach gets the most fired up on the sidelines.

Sirianni’s outbursts are more publicized but Brian Daboll has had his fair share as well. It’s just that no one notices because no one watches the Giants. Maybe they will throw something, yell at fans, throw a cooler on the ground…who knows.

1. Take a break from watching politicians play the blame game and watch a football game instead.

I’m not picking sides, but I will say the easiest way to keep the government from shutting down is the first people that lose their pay is the senators and house of represenatives. I’m willing to bet that we would never be in this situation again. I will pick a side tonight but I am definitely not willing to bet on it. Go New Jersey Giants!

Well that was certainly an interesting week in the NFL. The league took the saying “Any Given Sunday” very literal this week. Let’s jump into the always accurate and correct rankings.

Hot Garbage: Jets

The Jets are the first team in NFL history to be 0-5 and create zero turnovers. They are occasionally competitive but mostly just trash.

Hold my beer: Cardinals

To all the teams that lost in weird ways this week (eagles, chiefs, seahawks, rams, etc.) they all have nothing on the Cardinals who were about to go up 28-6 when yet another player dropped the ball right before the goal line. Then they somehow intercepted a pass only to fumble it and allow the other team to recover it for a touchdown. Then they couldn’t get a first down and couldn’t get a stop. It was the biggest meltdown I have seen in a long time, maybe ever. They are better than a lot of the teams I’m listing after them, but as punishment for their sorry of an excuse of football play down the stretch on Sunday, they are second to last for a week.

Still ass: Titans

Their QB said it not me. But winning a miracle game because the Cardinals self destructed on a level never seen before doesn’t make them good.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

They are going to be better this year they said. They have Pete Carroll, they said. They have Geno Smith, a huge upgrade at quarterback, they said. They are still the Raiders.

Terrible but more entertaining than I thought they would be: Giants, Saints, Dolphins, Browns

These teams are all awful but occasionally fun to watch.

Traded for Joe Flacco: Bengals

When you are trading away draft picks to your division rival for Joe Flacco you haven’t hit rock bottom yet…but you’re close. Also, I’m real mad at the Bengals and/or Giants for not giving us a trade for Jameis Winston so we could watch him throw 50 touchdowns and 50 interceptions over the next 13 weeks.

Barely a football team: Ravens

They are missing like half their team. And it shows.

Maybe good but probably not: Falcons, Panthers, Texans, Bears, and Cowboys

These teams all had good wins or were on a bye this week. But the teams that won all beat terrible teams so I’m not sure if that means anything. The verdict is still out on all of them but I’m skeptical.

Bizarro World: Chiefs

The Chiefs right now are the opposite of what they have been the past couple of years. They score points, move the ball but make key mistakes, have a ton of penalties and lose close games in odd ways. I still think they will be fine but they are starting to run out of time to right the ship with their brutal schedule.

Might be in trouble: Chargers and Vikings

After a great start, the Chargers are already chargering things up with a ton of injuries and so so play by both their QB and their defense. I thought the Charger hype would end at some point but didn’t think it would be by week 6. And as long as the Vikings keep rolling Carson Wentz out there, it’s gonna be hard for me to believe in them.

Divisional winner by default: Steelers

Do I think the Steelers are good? I do not. But the Browns are not good offensively, the Bengals just traded for Flacco to upgrade at Quarterback and the Ravens are missing Lamar and 15 starters on defense.

Could be trouble: Commanders and Patriots

Both these teams could be trouble for the rest of the league. They got good coaches, talented young quarterbacks and momentum on their side. If they get rolling look out.

Not sure what to think: Broncos and Packers

The Broncos won against the champs on Sunday after AJ Brown was their best defender on a hail Mary play to end the game. Their two losses are by a combined 4 points and there is a real argument that they should be 5-0. At the same time, if the Titans weren’t “ass” (again Cam Ward’s words, not mine) and AJ Brown hadn’t gotten in the way they could be 1-4. So I am just not sure what to do with them but I can’t rank them below any of the other teams. Same with the Packers who beat two good teams handedly and then lost to the lowly Browns, tied the Cowboys and had a bye. They are both playoff teams but not sure beyond that.

South Surprise: Colts and Jaguars

Just as we all suspected, the Colts and Jags are both 4-1 after 5 weeks and both should really be 5-0. Can either of them sustain it? I doubt it. But they are fun for now.

NFC West minus the ridiculous Cardinals: Rams, 49ers and Seahawks

These are all really good football teams. The 49ers ability to beat the Rams with what they had out there on Thursday is impressive but not sustainable. The Rams and Seahawks have both looked great at times and then made some bone head mistakes at times. It’s going to be interesting to see how this division shakes out.

They’re Fine: Bills and Eagles

Both teams lost on Sunday to the delight to the 72 Dolphins. Those guys are the worst but to be fair to them and Dolphin fans…what else do they have. Anyway, both these teams will be fine. They have some issues but so does everyone else.

Cardiac kids: Baker and the Bucs!

The Bucs only play close games where they either win it or lose it at the very end. They mostly win it.

Somebody has to be the top team: Lions

After their embarrassing loss to the Packers in week 1, the Lions have been the most dominant team. They have also played the Bears, what’s left of the Ravens, the Browns and the Bengals who just traded for Joe Flacco. Not exactly a murderer’s row of opponents. I’m not sure how good they are but honestly, I’m not sure how good anyone is and someone has to be ranked #1 and they seem as good of a choice as anyone.