Fifth Down

Ravens got their mojo back. The Dolphins finally won a game. They face off in a somewhat exciting, what else are you gonna watch, match tonight. Here are 10 reasons to tune in.

10. Tua in row?

Tua wasn’t terrible last week. In fact, he was quite good. He went 20 for 26 for 205 yards and 4 touchdowns. Apparently he could only see through one eye, so maybe that’s the trick he needed. Can he make it two good games in a row?

9. Is the Ravens D back?

The Ravens defense was horrendous early this year. But that was the case last year and they turned it around. They have been much better the last two games. Can they keep it rolling?

8. Watch Waddle…waddle

One of my favorite td celebrations is when Jaylen Waddle scores a td and then waddles around like a duck. There is a good chance it happens this game.

7. Return of Lamar

Lamar is back and is finally healthy enough to play. When he was playing they were averaging like 30 points a game. So there should be some scoring in this one.

6. Watch Mike McDaniel lose his job.

The Dolphins are 2-6. A loss in this one all but seals their playoff fate. There isn’t much hope as is, but dropping to 2-7 would make it all but impossible. I don’t see how this guy keeps his job even he makes it through the season.

5. See how many times the broadcast mentions the fact that the Ravens removed the toys from the locker room.

Apparently Lamar decided the team was having too much fun while losing so they took out the video games, ping pong tables and tv’s. Ironically Lamar did this while he wasn’t even playing and it didn’t seem to help that much, but it will be brought up, I’m sure.

4. Costume contest

It’s the day before Halloween so we are bound to get some good costumes in the stadium. You’ll probably see skeletons and ghosts and monsters and dolphin fans dressed up as empty seats. Plus Mike McDaniel dressed up like an NFL coach.

3. It won’t be as long as game 3 of the World Series

Everyone loves a close game with extra periods. But don’t fret, the longest this game will go is one overtime, so you don’t have to worry about being up until 1 in the morning watching this one.

2. See John Harbaugh with a dumb, confused look on his face.

This happens every game at some point.

1. Watch the AFC North Champs get closer to their division title

I’m holding strong to both my preseason prediction as well as what I said after the Steelers lost to the Bengals. The Ravens are winning the North. Tonight’s victory will get them that much closer to that.

8 weeks have come and gone and we are starting to see the have’s separate themselves from the have nots as most of the games were blow outs this week. I’m still not 100% sure who is good yet but I definitely know who is bad. Let’s dive in.

Won a game but still trash: Jets

Putting up 39 points on the Bengals defense is sort of like winning a game in Madden on the rookie level. Sure you won but it’s nothing to celebrate about.

Fired their coach but still suck: Titans

Usually a team gets a little boost for a week or two when they fire their coach. The Titans were like, nah.

Were on a bye and still almost lost: Raiders

It was a close one, but the Raiders survived the weekend without a loss.

Bad and getting less frisky: Saints, Cardinals, and Browns

All these teams are bad and seem to be getting worse each week.

Bad but finally frisky: Dolphins

Hey, I see you Dolphins! I’m sure you will go back to your loser ways on Thursday but nice road win on Sunday.

Lost to the Jets: Bengals

The fact that the Bengals are just now showing up on the list after losing to the Jets tells you how bad the teams listed already truly are.

Getting less fun due to gruesome injuries: Giants

The fun and cocky young Giants have been humbled the last two weeks with a 4th quarter collapse two weeks ago and an all around beat down this week. To add to the painful experience they lost Cam Skattebo for the year to an injury that you don’t want to see if you haven’t already and if you did see it, you are going to spend the rest of the week trying to erase it from your memory. I’m in the second category unfortunately.

Kirk Cousins isn’t the answer and neither is who else they have at quarterback: Falcons and Vikings

These teams have solid rosters with good coaches but they have a quarterback problem that I don’t think is getting solved this week.

Tamed Cats: Jaguars and Panthers

The Panthers were looking pretty good until they had to start Andy Dalton this week and got totally demolished by the Bills. The Jags haven’t won a game since pulling out a miracle against the Chiefs a while back on Monday night football.

Depressing D in Dallas: Cowboys

It turns out, you need good players on both sides of the ball after all.

Bearly good: Bears

Even without Lamar playing the Ravens did exactly what I thought they would against the Bears. Ironically the Bears last year were also 4-2. They finished 5-12. Here’s hoping a better outcome this year for Bears fans.

Saved their seasons: Ravens and Texans

Both these teams badly needed wins and got them. I’m not sure that it matters that much for the Texans but I stand by the fact that I think the Ravens can win their division. If they win on Thursday night and the Steelers lose to the Colts which both are likely, they will just be 1 game back in the division lead.

Steel Curtain is actually made of plastic: Steelers

The problem is actually not Aaron Rodgers and the offense. The problem is they are giving up 300 yards passing and 30 points a game. The Colts are next. Ouch.

Injuries adding up: Commanders and 49ers

I actually think both these teams are good. They are just out of healthy dudes.

Looked Tough: Bills, Eagles, Broncos, Chargers

This starts a run of 12 teams that I think have a real shot at winning this thing. They all have some issues but any of them could win multiple playoff games. I’m guessing the order of these 12 will move around some over the coming weeks but I am pretty confident these are all good teams. The Bills and Chargers both won easily against subpar opponents. The Broncos and Eagles showed what they can do when they play all 4 quarters. I’m not sure what either of them were doing still throwing the ball up by 20 late in the 4th quarter but hey, too each their own.

Scrappy but need to get healthy: Bucs

The Bucs are still winning but they need to get some offensive guys back. Baker hasn’t looked the same the last couple of weeks. This bye comes at a good time.

Legit looking Lions:

The Lions looked great the last time we saw them against the Bucs. They have tougher games ahead that will tell the story of whether they are truly legit or not.

Dynastic Duo: Patriots and Chiefs

These two teams also beat bad teams. After slow first half starts the Patriots put up a ton of points on a tough Browns Defense and the Chiefs continue to be dominant on both sides of the ball for the 4th straight week.

Play to the level of their competition: Packers

It seems like the Packers can’t quite play the same way all the time. But I like their chances in the playoffs because they seem to rise to the occasion when playing better teams. They looked great the second half last night and have the best record in the NFC.

Bye, Bye 49ers: Rams and Seahawks

Both teams had a bye and benefited from a 49ers loss. This is helpful because it puts them a half game a head which is especially helpful since the 49ers beat both of them. I trust the Rams more when it counts because Matt Stafford has been great in the playoffs and Sam Darnold has well…not done so well.

Still Rolling: Colts

The Colts continue to roll and look like a dominant team led by Daniel Jones. I know, I’m as shocked as you are.

Tonight is a real doozey. The Vikings will head on the road to visit the Chargers. I’m sure plenty of Vikings fans will make the trip. And there will be plenty of seats available for them since the Chargers don’t have any fans. But why should you spend your Thursday night watching these two teams battle it out? Here are 10 reasons why.

10. See which team Carson Wentz throws touchdowns to.

Wentz is a sporadic player but he’s got a good arm and is going to throw some touchdowns. To which team? Only time will tell, but I’m betting both teams.

9. See who gets hurt for the Chargers.

Every week someone goes down. They’ve lost at least 3 linemen and 3 running backs and I believe some defensive guys too. I don’t know who will be next, but it will be someone.

8. See how many people are dressed up like Vikings.

Halloween is right around the corner. And Vikings fans love to dress up as Vikings all the time anyway. So see how many people dressed up like Vikings in the crowd you can see. Since it is a road game, I’m setting the over/under at 3.5 in case you want to play along.

7. Watch them show clips of Jim Harbaugh during warm ups as they talk about what a great coach he is.

Look at him. He’s catching a football. Now he’s throwing a football. Now he is pretending to block someone. He’s amazing.

6. See if 6-7 is referenced.

This is all the rage with the kids, according to my 16 year old son and especially my 13 year old daughter. They explained what it means. I still don’t understand it and I’m not sure they do either. But of course us adults can’t let them have their thing so I’m sure eventually enough adults will say it on tv that it will no longer be cool with middle schoolers.

5. See Kevin O’Connell stare up at the replay board dreaming of Sam Darnold.

Kevin can win with anyone, but it seems to be easier to win with someone not named Carson Wentz or JJ McCarthy.

4. Watch everyone gush over Justin Herbert.

The Sports media loves them some Herbert. You know what doesn’t love Herbert? The post season.

3. Watch Justin Jefferson do Justin Jefferson things.

Jefferson is real good. Pretty much every game he does something special.

2. Watch Kimani Vidal and Oronde Gadsen get shut down by the Vikings D.

I got both these guys starting on one of my fantasy teams so I only assume they will do poorly.

1. Watching two slightly above average football teams is more entertaining than anything else right now.

My wife often asks, what do you want to watch tonight. We literally just watch reruns of the office and football. So take a break from your office marathon and watch these two pretty injured teams battle it out.

We are 7 weeks done after another Monday night double header. I’m not a fan of multiple Monday night games. Not because I don’t want more football but because I don’t want to hear Dan Orlovsky talk anymore. He is the PFF of announcers. He used to be original and insightful. But now he is working so hard to sound smart that he actually sounds dumb. Anyway, you know what isn’t dumb? My always perfect and accurate rankings. Let’s dive in.

Hot Garbage in a new bag: Jets

They are just so bad. But they benched their quarterback. So basically they are switching from hefty to glad but it’s still trash on the inside.

Slightly less stinky but still trash: Raiders, Titans and Dolphins

Raiders had 3 first downs while running 30 plays on Sunday. The only reason they didn’t lose by 50 was because Andy Reid is a nice guy. The Dolphins got rolled by the Browns. Yes you read that correctly. Tua has lost all respect and apparently the ability to play football as well. Titans got a new coach and it helped…for a whole quarter. Then they were back to their old selves.

Not offensive: Browns and Texans

A little double meaning here. These teams have great defenses but their offenses suck. But they aren’t completely offensive to watch.

Scrappy but not good: Saints, Cardinals and Giants

All 3 of these teams will put up some points and stick around in games. And sometimes they completely implode to lose games they obviously should have won.

Kind of a mess: Commanders, Vikings, and Panthers

All these teams are kind of good but sort of fall apart at times. Some of it is injuries. Some of it is inconsistency. Some of it is having Carson Wentz as your quarterback.

Depends on the week: Falcons

One week I’m like look at the Falcons, I think they could make the playoffs. Then the next week I’m like look at the Falcons, they suck again.

The Replacements: Joe Flacco and the Bengals

I cannot wait until Joe Burrow gets healthy and comes back to the team and arrogantly starts to tell everyone what to do and yells at the Bengals deaf tight end and leads the Bengals to a disastrous first half only to have Flacco hop off his house boat show up in the locker room at half time and for Zac Taylor to be rocking a tom laundry hat and say “What took you so long?” To which he will respond, “traffic.” Flacco will lead them to glory after the inspiring words, “pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory is forever.” They win the game and then celebrate with strippers dressed up as cheerleaders. It’s gonna be awesome.

About to go on a run or be eliminated: Ravens

If you look at their schedule, the Ravens could win the next 8 games and be sitting 8-5. They could also lose to the Bears this week and be done.

Don’t get defensive: Cowboys

Dallas is the anti Texans and Browns. They can score on anyone. But everyone also typically scores more than them.

Grin and Bear it: Bears

Hey they Bears aren’t terrible. That should be enough to have Bears fans smiling.

Goodish: Steelers, Chargers, Jaguars

All these teams could make the playoffs. But they all sort of have issues that I think will keep them out. The Steelers are old, the Chargers are injured and the Jags are…well…the Jags.

At least they have Josh Allen: Bills

The Bills are going to be in it. They have Josh Allen. But their weapons aren’t very good. Their defense isn’t very good and I’m not sure their coach is very good. But they will still probably win 13 games.

Really, really good…sometimes: Eagles and Broncos

The Eagles are the best team in football for parts of lots of games. But they can’t seem to put 4 quarters together which makes me less high on them as others. The Broncos are dysfunctional on offense for like 3 and a half quarters and then they look like the early 2000’s Rams playing a middle school defense the last half a quarter. It’s bizarre. I’m not sure if it is sustainable so either they will start playing better throughout the whole game or just not be good on offense. Time will tell.

I think they are good but they better start playing like it: Packers

The Packers are 4-1-1 but really haven’t looked great since week 2. They got to get their stuff together starting this week or I’m moving them back.

The Dynasty Duo: Chiefs and Patriots

Both teams played really well and dominated their games. Those games were against the Raiders and Titans so I can’t move them up too much.

Bake show got baked: Bucs

Woof, that was a rough game. I think they will bounce back but they got a lot of injuries and didn’t have a lot of answers last night.

Dominant in Detroit: Lions

They are a good team. They are a really good team at home during the regular season. Not sure it will translate when it matters but you never know.

NFC West minus the Cardinals: 49ers, Rams, Seahawks

They aren’t perfect and they all have their strengths and weaknesses but they can all win in weird scenarios and without some of their guys. I’m still not sure the 49ers can sustain this success with the injuries. I’m not sure that Sam Darnold won’t become the Sam Darnold of old at any moment. But both teams are getting it done right now. The Rams are the team I have the most confidence in of the 3.

Just like we all expected: Colts

7 weeks in, as we all expected, the team with the best record in the NFL is the Colts. They have been the most consistent team through 7 weeks. As Daniel Jones said after the game to the media, “I guess you guys didn’t know very much.” He’s not wrong. If he keeps playing the way he has they have enough around him to be dangerous come January.

Better late than never, here are some storylines and predictions for today.

The Rivalry that used to be: Raiders @ Chiefs

Growing up in the 90s, these games were back and forth nasty, battles with real fights during the games. But since the Raiders made the Super Bowl in 2002, they have basically done nothing. Nothing has been even less since Mahomes became the Chiefs QB. He is 12-2 against the Raiders. The only good news for the Raiders is those 2 wins were at Arrowhead. The Raiders are already bad but they will also be without their best receiver and tight end today. Meanwhile, the Chiefs will finally have all their weapons back with the return of Rashee Rice. The offense is clicking like is hasn’t since 2022. The defense has been a little up and down but definitely has the opportunity to be up against what’s left of the raiders offense. Pete Carrol said before the season that he has been winning 10 games forever. Well this year isn’t forever. Barring a complete meltdown, the Chiefs should win this one and for my blood pressure, hopefully they win easily.

Chiefs 34 Raiders 17

Revenge of the Wentz: Eagles @ Vikings

The Eagles head to Minnesota after losing 2 straight. The Vikings were on a bye last week after playing two games overseas. The Vikings were really excited about JJ McCarthy until they saw him play. He also got hurt too I guess. Since then they have gone to Carson Wentz who the Eagles dumped a few years back. It’s gone pretty well overall with Wentz and if they win this they will have a real decision to make between him and McCarthy. Meanwhile, the Eagles limp into this one after blowing a lead to the Broncos 2 weeks ago and getting blown out by the Giants last week. I’m not sure what happened to the Eagles. All of the sudden they can’t run the ball, Hurts is turning it over and the defense isn’t stopping anyone. It doesn’t get any easier as the Vikings defense is good. In good news, the Vikings defensive weakness is the run game. So perhaps this will be a get right game for Barkley and the Eagles. If they don’t get the run game going today, they might be in trouble. While, I’d like to pick Wentz to win one and get back at his old team, I think the Eagles run over the Vikings and get Wentz to make a couple of mistakes.

Eagles 24 Vikings 20

Broncos D turns Skattebo into Skateboo-hoo: Giants @ Broncos

I like what the Giants have going on. Jaxson Dart and Cam Skattebo are both a lot of fun and brought new energy to a team that was pretty sad. The are basically college kids having fun running around like idiots and I’m glad I am here for it. On the other side of the ball, the Broncos are tied for first place in the AFC West and also beat the Eagles recently. Their defense is insanely good and have an amazing league leading 30 sacks. They are on pace for 85 sacks. To put that into perspective, the record for any team is 72. The offense has been sporadic to say the least. At times they look unstoppable and other times they can’t get a first down. Since starting Dart, the Giants are 2-1 with two wins at home against two good teams. Their loss however is on the road in a sloppy 5 turnover game against the lowly Saints. This is on the road against a very good defense so as much as I would love to predict the youngsters winning this one, I just don’t see it. Dart will make too many mistakes today.

Broncos 27 Giants 13

Indiana Jones vs the Savannah Bananas: Colts @ Chargers

Daniel Jones and the Colts have been on a tear with only one loss against the Rams which they should have won. Jonathan Taylor is running over everyone and Danny Dimes is playing mistake free football. The defense has been solid and their rookie tight end is a machine. I don’t think any of us saw this coming but good for the Colts. Meanwhile, the Chargers will be wearing their Savannah banana outfits. You’ll get it when you see it. They are still down a couple of offensive linemen still and their rookie running back. Herbert is playing well but may have a hard time staying upright in this one. In a close game like this I tend to go with the home team. But the Chargers never really play at home. The Colts keep it rolling in this one.

Colts 30 Chargers 20

Birds fly west for the fall: Falcons @ what’s left of the 49ers

Oh, the poor 49ers. They have more injuries than any team I have ever seen before. They are banged up once again and Mac Jones will start another one. In good news, they should get George Kittle back. That should help some but it is still rough times for the 49ers. Meanwhile, the Falcons will try to do something they haven’t done all year, put 2 good games in a row together. They upset the Bills on Monday night and now head west to try to keep the momentum going. Bijan Robinson has been amazing and Drake London has been tearing up secondaries. It really all comes down to Michael Pennix playing mistake free football. This should be easier with all the injuries the 49ers have on defense including being down their top two defenders in Fred Warner and Nick Bosa. The 49ers are scrappy and Shanahan will have them ready but I think the pressure from the Falcons D and the injuries on the 49ers D will be too much for them to overcome.

Falcons 24 49ers 20

The Bake Show takes the cooking to dirty D: Bucs @ Lions

The Lions and their fans are still upset about their player being penalized for punching a guy after the game. Because the Chiefs were mean to him during the game. The offense should get back on track as they are at home and Goff is always better in doors. I think they score a lot in this one with all the weapons at his disposal. The problem is they are missing all their secondary guys. We thought that the Bucs were going to be short handed on offense as it was predicted that they would be without their top 3 receivers. Godwin is out but it looks like Mike Evans will play. Egbuka now has a shot to play too. Regardless, I trust Baker throwing to anyone against what is left of the Detroit secondary. I’ll take the Bake show in a shootout.

Bucs 38 Lions 31

Tonight is the Steelers and Bengals in what Cam Heyward deemed the Icy Hot Bowl because two old quarterbacks, Joe Flacco and Aaron Rodgers are going to battle it out. Now you may be thinking, old quarterbacks and Bengals and Steelers, why would I want to watch this? Well let me tell you why.

10. Watch Joe Flacco become Shane Falco.

If you have not watched the Replacements, shame on you. But in that movie, Keanu Reeves stops cleaning barnacles off his little house boat to win football games. Which is what Flacco is going to do tonight. Minus the cleaning of the barnacles.

9. Lots of sacks.

Neither of these guys can move. So there should be a plethora of sacks.

8. The Bengals become the zebras.

I’m not talking about refs. The Bengals are breaking out the all white uniforms tonight. I don’t like the Bengals but I do like those uniforms.

7. See how long it takes for DK Metcalf to start some stuff.

DK is a real solid receiver and even more solid fighter over nothing guy. I’m thinking by late first quarter he has already gotten into a scuffle.

6. Ja’Maar Chase go off…again.

I don’t like Chase. But he is really good at football. I’m sure he will have a big game.

5. Josh Allen is your fantasy QB, but he is on a bye so you have to start Aaron Rodgers tonight.

This is how I am going to convince my wife to watch this crap show tonight because she is in this situation.

4. See how many times the announcers mention how old the Quarterbacks are.

You know this is going to come up…a lot. Which is sort of ironic since Al Michaels is like 90.

3. Speaking of Al Michaels, tune in to see what color his hair is.

Al is old but obviously dyes his hair. I’m just not sure what color he is going for. Brown, Black, Orange? We’ve got to figure this out.

2. See what gets stuck in Mike Tomlin’s beard.

That thing gets out of control and grabs some spit, food and other things. Let’s see what gets in their tonight.

1. As bad as this game is, it’s still better than baseball.

Sure there are some playoff games on today, but let’s be honest. Bad football is better than great baseball. And pretty much all of the baseball games this round have been blow outs anyway. And I am betting this football game will be close.

The NFL regular season is a 3rd of the way through, and we still have no idea who is really good or not. But of all the rankings, here are the most accurate ones out there. Let’s dive in.

Hot Garbage but this time in London: Jets

Just when you thought the Jets couldn’t get any worse, Justin Fields got sacked 9 times and had only 9 completions and a net of -10 passing yards.

Lost to the Raiders: Titans

Enough said.

Beat the Titans: Raiders

I mean they won…but it’s not a huge accomplishment.

1-5 but they at least they aren’t the Titans or Jets: Browns, Dolphins, Saints

The Dolphins are a disaster and Tua is terrible and is calling out other players even though he threw 3 interceptions. The Browns are the Browns, nothing new there. The Saints play hard and seem well coached but are just out matched talent wise.

Bye, bye, bye: Ravens

This one has a double meaning. The Ravens are on a bye this week but they could really use 3 byes in a row to get everyone healthy. But also because they are bye, bye, bye because they are pretty much done.

Slightly less terrible: Bengals

Joe Flacco is better than Jake Browning. Not by a lot but enough to make them a little less awful.

Had a better week than last week: Cardinals

The Cardinals lost in a heartbreaker to the Colts. But they can’t feel any worse than they did last week.

Didn’t play last week and no one noticed: Vikings and Texans

Did you know these teams were on bye this past week? I bet you didn’t notice. Just like you won’t notice when they aren’t in the playoffs.

New York who? Dart and Skattebo: Giants

I know it isn’t sustainable and I’m sure they will get humbled this week against a very good Broncos D. But they sure are fun right now.

Sort of good sometimes: Cowboys, Falcons, Commanders, Panthers and Bears

All these teams have had flashes of good and bad. But every time I think one of these teams is good they lose the next week.

Good…I guess: Broncos and Chargers

I mean they are 4-2 and lead their division but the Chargers are running out of guys and barely beat the Dolphins. The Broncos offense is wildly inconsistent and probably would have lost to the Jets if the Jets could complete a pass.

Good…for now: Steelers and Jaguars

The Steelers seem to be playing well and so is Rodgers but at least the latter seems like it will be short lived. The Jaguars are scrappy but I think they will get exposed a little each week.

They’re going to be okay…I think…right?: Bills and Eagles

My two super bowl picks still have a ton of time to get right. But they sure haven’t looked right the last few weeks.

Really good against bad teams: Lions

The Lions looked bad in week 1 against the Packers. Then they won 4 straight against bad teams. This past weekend they looked bad against the Chiefs. They have the Bucs next.

Uh Oh: Chiefs and Patriots

Everyone hates a dynasty. Neither of these two teams have fully arrived yet but both are trending in the right direction and no one is going to like it.

NFC West minus the Cardinals: 49ers, Rams and Seahawks

The 49ers lost to the Bucs but they are so beat up and are still competitive. The Rams and Seahawks are competitive every week as well. This division is going to be interesting and at least 2 of them are going to make the playoffs and be a tough out.

Only 1 loss and seem good…but are they?: Packers and Colts

The Packers looked great the first two weeks but have looked so so the rest of the way. But they still have only 1 loss and potential. The Colts don’t have any great wins but they just keep winning. Jonathan Taylor has been amazing, Daniel Jones has been very good and the defense is solid. I don’t think they are as good as their record but they aren’t going anywhere.

Bake show: Bucs

The Bucs keep losing receivers and running backs and it just doesn’t matter because they have the Bake show! Baker has been awesome and the Bucs just keep winning. He’s the MVP through 6 weeks.

The last two weeks I predicted correct upsets. I also almost picked the Patriots over the Bills and obviously wished I would have. Let’s dive into this week’s games and see if I can keep my streak rolling.

Revolutionary Football: Broncos @ New York Jets but not in New York…just like when the Jets play in the United States

The NFL sends American football to London. If it wasn’t enough for us to win the war, now we are forcing our football on them. Which I got to say, I’m all for. That’s what you get for taxing our tea. Anyway, my wife’s favorite team plays the extra early game. It comes on at 7:30 AM where we live. My wife is a super dedicated fan. She watches every game win or lose. And there has been a lot of losing these last few years. But besides her family and Jesus, my wife loves one more thing more than her Broncos…sleep. If she sees any of this game, I’ll be impressed. She is dedicated. She is just more dedicated to sleep. It’s her favorite hobby. However, my super smart nephew, Nate will be at the game. He goes to school in England because you know…he is super smart. I once learned about England in college. He goes to college there. Anyway, he will be there to cheer on his Broncos and celebrate a little America in the country who’s butt we kicked to get our freedom from taxes. And now we live in that freedom paying a lot of taxes. Anyhoo, on to the football game. The Broncos are riding high after their victory over the Eagles last week. Get it riding high because people ride horses and Broncos are horses. Anyhoo, I’m still not sure how good the Broncos are and Bo Nix is a little reckless with the football at times. In good news, the Jets haven’t gotten a turnover yet and are terrible in general. I’m not sure if the Broncos are great yet, but they are definitely better than the Jets. My nephew gets to see his team win in another country. Take that England!

Broncos 30 Jets 16

Birds flying South: Seahawks @ Jaguars

The Seahawks are coming off a tough loss when Sam Darnold threw a ball off a guys helmet that lead to an interception and eventually a loss. Meanwhile, Trevor Lawrence fell down like 4 times but was still able to run in the game winning td on Monday night against the Chiefs. I think these are both solid teams but also not sure either has a real long shelf life in the post season. But they are going to compete week in and week out. I’m not sure which team is actually better. And neither does Vegas. The line has bounced around and finally landed on Seattle being a slight favorite. This is really a battle of quarterbacks I don’t really trust. But Seattle is down some secondary guys and has to travel through a few time zones to get there and play a game at 10 AM their time. I don’t feel great about picking either but the Jags have an opportunistic defense against a QB that can sometimes give those opportunities. Give me the home team in a close one.

Jaguars 24 Seahawks 20

Toilet bowl: Titans @ Raiders

Arguably the two worst teams are playing in Vegas this Sunday. The Titans one win came last week after the Cardinals completely imploded. Meanwhile, the Raiders haven’t won since week 1 and Geno seems to throw more interceptions each week. There is not much of a home advantage in Vegas for the Raiders. But also how many Titans fans are making the trip to watch this crap team. One of my favorite Friday Night Light episodes is called toilet bowl where the two worst teams, one of which is East Dillon, play in a game. It’s a great episode. This will not be a great game. And luckily I don’t have to watch it. But I do have to predict a winner. I think the Raiders are a slightly less crappy team but the Titans have at least a small bit of positivity around them right now. They ride the positivity to a victory in sin city.

Titans 23 Raiders 19

Return of the Mac vs Bake Show: 49ers @ Bucs

The often injured 49ers head to Tampa for an afternoon battle. The 49ers won an amazing upset victory at the Rams last Thursday. You would think the extra time off would have given them more time to get healthy but not so much. They are still down their QB and their best WR among other players. Meanwhile the Bucs are also down some players so in some ways this is a battle of banged up teams. Mac Jones has played well making me believe that you might be able to throw me in at QB in the Kyle Shanahan offense and do alright. Meanwhile, Baker has lead the Bucs to game winning drives every game but one. This has the makings of a close game since both teams are little short handed and play close games anyway. In a close game, you know who I am taking. Give me the Bake show for another crazy victory.

Bucs 30 49ers 24

Shake it off vs Shake it Goff: Lions @ Chiefs

The Lions come to KC on Sunday night with a depleted secondary but with the only active QB that Mahomes has faced and never beat. Goff tends to play well against the Chiefs but then again he has an insane amount of weapons to work with. Meanwhile, the Chiefs seem to be good at all the things they weren’t good at last year, mainly offense and bad at everything they were good at last year, everything else. The Lions have won 4 in a row against sub par opponents. The Chiefs have only wins are against sub par opponents. This has the makings of a shoot out because the Lions are really good offensively and their secondary is really banged up and the Chiefs seem to be back offensively. Because I am predicting a shoot out, the score will probably be 10-7. As a Chiefs fan, I don’t feel great about this game and have to remind myself that they have been in every game and a few plays going the other way they could have won any of them. At the same time it is unsettling that we haven’t won any of those close games after winning them all last year. Before the season started, I predicted the Chiefs would start 3-3. So I’m sticking with that and the Chiefs winning even though I don’t feel great about it. Pat makes a play at the end and we finally win a close one…I hope.

Chiefs 31 Lions 28

Hail Mary nightmares: Bears @ Commanders

The Bears had the Commanders beat last year in a battle of the two first picks from last year’s draft. And then Jayden Daniels threw a Hail Mary while a Bears DB celebrated and taunted the crowd. Whoops. It did not work out well for him. The Bears basically fell apart from there and the Commanders went on to make the NFC Championship. It was a tale of two teams headed in different directions. Now they are back but the Bears have a different coach. The Bears are definitely a more functional team this year. Meanwhile the Commanders have been banged up all year and are still missing their best receiver. This in theory has the makings for a big Caleb Williams break out game. Meanwhile, Jayden always seems to shine in these moments. I was tempted to pick the Bears in the upset but I just don’t trust Caleb at all. And I don’t have any reason not to trust Jayden. So give me the Commanders in this one.

Commanders 27 Bears 20

It’s Thursday, which means we got Thursday night football. I know most of us probably aren’t very excited for tonight’s game. So let me give you 10 reasons to watch tonight.

10. Watch Dart…Dart around.

Jaxson Dart has arguably the best football name in the league. He didn’t play all that well last week and probably won’t play very well tonight but he will run around and do some fun stuff so that’ll be fun.

9. See who AJ Brown keeps from scoring this week.

The last play of Sunday’s game, AJ knocked the ball out of Smith’s hands on the hail mary. Let’s see what he does tonight. I’m hoping he tackles Hurts on a tush push.

8. If you are in the area, you might get to play WR for the Giants

Dart isn’t real good at throwing the ball anyway, and is already down Malik Nabers and now down Darius Slayton. So if you are in the New Jersey area, stop by. You never know what might happen.

7. Barkley busts out

Saquon has not been himself this year. No one is sure why. But this seems like a logical time for Barkley to get his mojo back visiting the team that let him go. This is assuming the Eagles give him more than 6 carries.

6. Jamies Winston pep talk?

Winston is the 3rd string for the Giants and won’t play tonight unless a whole lot goes wrong. But just maybe we will get some video of Winston talking up the team. It’s worth tuning in to find out.

5. How much does Jalen Hurts throw the ball?

When Hurts throws a lot, the Eagles lose. When he doesn’t throw much they win. I’m not saying that he is the reason or it is his fault but the facts are what they are. Let’s see what they do tonight.

4. Watch Skattebo go skatteboom!

Speaking of fun Giants…Skattebo does not avoid contact and yeah he may fumble occasionally and he isn’t too fast. But hey he is going to run somebody over at some point.

3. See the results of the Eagles team meeting that last over an hour.

The Eagles apparently had a players meeting that lasted a long time. My guess is Jalen Hurts talked eloquently for 58 minutes of that hour. Let’s see if it pays off for them. Although I am not sure that you need a players only meeting to beat the Giants.

2. See which coach gets the most fired up on the sidelines.

Sirianni’s outbursts are more publicized but Brian Daboll has had his fair share as well. It’s just that no one notices because no one watches the Giants. Maybe they will throw something, yell at fans, throw a cooler on the ground…who knows.

1. Take a break from watching politicians play the blame game and watch a football game instead.

I’m not picking sides, but I will say the easiest way to keep the government from shutting down is the first people that lose their pay is the senators and house of represenatives. I’m willing to bet that we would never be in this situation again. I will pick a side tonight but I am definitely not willing to bet on it. Go New Jersey Giants!

Well that was certainly an interesting week in the NFL. The league took the saying “Any Given Sunday” very literal this week. Let’s jump into the always accurate and correct rankings.

Hot Garbage: Jets

The Jets are the first team in NFL history to be 0-5 and create zero turnovers. They are occasionally competitive but mostly just trash.

Hold my beer: Cardinals

To all the teams that lost in weird ways this week (eagles, chiefs, seahawks, rams, etc.) they all have nothing on the Cardinals who were about to go up 28-6 when yet another player dropped the ball right before the goal line. Then they somehow intercepted a pass only to fumble it and allow the other team to recover it for a touchdown. Then they couldn’t get a first down and couldn’t get a stop. It was the biggest meltdown I have seen in a long time, maybe ever. They are better than a lot of the teams I’m listing after them, but as punishment for their sorry of an excuse of football play down the stretch on Sunday, they are second to last for a week.

Still ass: Titans

Their QB said it not me. But winning a miracle game because the Cardinals self destructed on a level never seen before doesn’t make them good.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

They are going to be better this year they said. They have Pete Carroll, they said. They have Geno Smith, a huge upgrade at quarterback, they said. They are still the Raiders.

Terrible but more entertaining than I thought they would be: Giants, Saints, Dolphins, Browns

These teams are all awful but occasionally fun to watch.

Traded for Joe Flacco: Bengals

When you are trading away draft picks to your division rival for Joe Flacco you haven’t hit rock bottom yet…but you’re close. Also, I’m real mad at the Bengals and/or Giants for not giving us a trade for Jameis Winston so we could watch him throw 50 touchdowns and 50 interceptions over the next 13 weeks.

Barely a football team: Ravens

They are missing like half their team. And it shows.

Maybe good but probably not: Falcons, Panthers, Texans, Bears, and Cowboys

These teams all had good wins or were on a bye this week. But the teams that won all beat terrible teams so I’m not sure if that means anything. The verdict is still out on all of them but I’m skeptical.

Bizarro World: Chiefs

The Chiefs right now are the opposite of what they have been the past couple of years. They score points, move the ball but make key mistakes, have a ton of penalties and lose close games in odd ways. I still think they will be fine but they are starting to run out of time to right the ship with their brutal schedule.

Might be in trouble: Chargers and Vikings

After a great start, the Chargers are already chargering things up with a ton of injuries and so so play by both their QB and their defense. I thought the Charger hype would end at some point but didn’t think it would be by week 6. And as long as the Vikings keep rolling Carson Wentz out there, it’s gonna be hard for me to believe in them.

Divisional winner by default: Steelers

Do I think the Steelers are good? I do not. But the Browns are not good offensively, the Bengals just traded for Flacco to upgrade at Quarterback and the Ravens are missing Lamar and 15 starters on defense.

Could be trouble: Commanders and Patriots

Both these teams could be trouble for the rest of the league. They got good coaches, talented young quarterbacks and momentum on their side. If they get rolling look out.

Not sure what to think: Broncos and Packers

The Broncos won against the champs on Sunday after AJ Brown was their best defender on a hail Mary play to end the game. Their two losses are by a combined 4 points and there is a real argument that they should be 5-0. At the same time, if the Titans weren’t “ass” (again Cam Ward’s words, not mine) and AJ Brown hadn’t gotten in the way they could be 1-4. So I am just not sure what to do with them but I can’t rank them below any of the other teams. Same with the Packers who beat two good teams handedly and then lost to the lowly Browns, tied the Cowboys and had a bye. They are both playoff teams but not sure beyond that.

South Surprise: Colts and Jaguars

Just as we all suspected, the Colts and Jags are both 4-1 after 5 weeks and both should really be 5-0. Can either of them sustain it? I doubt it. But they are fun for now.

NFC West minus the ridiculous Cardinals: Rams, 49ers and Seahawks

These are all really good football teams. The 49ers ability to beat the Rams with what they had out there on Thursday is impressive but not sustainable. The Rams and Seahawks have both looked great at times and then made some bone head mistakes at times. It’s going to be interesting to see how this division shakes out.

They’re Fine: Bills and Eagles

Both teams lost on Sunday to the delight to the 72 Dolphins. Those guys are the worst but to be fair to them and Dolphin fans…what else do they have. Anyway, both these teams will be fine. They have some issues but so does everyone else.

Cardiac kids: Baker and the Bucs!

The Bucs only play close games where they either win it or lose it at the very end. They mostly win it.

Somebody has to be the top team: Lions

After their embarrassing loss to the Packers in week 1, the Lions have been the most dominant team. They have also played the Bears, what’s left of the Ravens, the Browns and the Bengals who just traded for Joe Flacco. Not exactly a murderer’s row of opponents. I’m not sure how good they are but honestly, I’m not sure how good anyone is and someone has to be ranked #1 and they seem as good of a choice as anyone.

Last week I went bold picking the Giants over the Chargers correctly. Well I’m going bold in back to back weeks. Let’s do this! It’s time for Six for Sunday…on a Saturday!

Bo knows upsets: Broncos @ Eagles

It’s a mixed bag with Bo. Some people love him. Some people are very critical of him. I land somewhere in between. I think he is pretty good but still has a lot to prove. He really has never really beaten a good team with a good quarterback besides a random win in week 3 of last year against the Bucs. He is a little risky out there and turns the ball over more than Bronco fans would want. But I think he is due a big victory. The Broncos are 2-2 but both their losses are on last minute field goals. Bronco fans really like talking about that, especially the Colts games. However, their 2 wins aren’t impressive either, squeaking by the lowly Titans and a terrible Bengals team led by Jake Browning. The Eagles on the other hand are 4-0 narrowly beating 3 good teams and the Cowboys. But their defense seems to have some holes and they don’t seem to be able to throw the ball down the field besides one half of football against the Rams. I think they will figure out their passing game but not this week against this stingy Broncos D. I’d make this pick with more conviction if the Broncos were home, but give me the Broncos anyway. The Eagles finally get a false start called on a tush push turning a 4th and 1 into a 4th and 6 at the end of the game and they can’t convert.

Broncos 23 Eagles 20

Must win but not must see: Texans @ what’s left of the Ravens

I predicted both these teams would win their divisions. A big reason was because I thought they both had the best QB and the best coach in their divisions. While that may be true, it hasn’t seem that true outside of Lamar…and he is hurt and not playing this week. The Texans offense has been atrocious all season. Their one win is against the terrible Titans. With both the Colts and Jaguars sitting at 3-1 falling to 1-5 would all but seal their fate. Meanwhile the Ravens are playing with about half their team. They have basically become the 49ers of the AFC but with worse results. Even when Lamar is healthy, this team can’t seem to win big games. Now they are rolling Cooper Rush out there. Their defense is terrible and keeps getting worse with all the injuries. The Ravens need a win as well. Right now they are tied with the Browns in last place. You sort of feel like if they can get healthy then maybe they’ll have a shot. But it might be too late by then. One of my fantasy teams is in the same boat. My top 3 picks, Ceedee Lamb, Lamar and Mike Evans are all hurt. But there is light at the end of the tunnel as by week 8 all should be back, and Rashee Rice will be off suspension. But I feel the Ravens pain. The difference is my fake football team is 3-1 not 1-3. I think the Ravens lean into the run more and Derek Henry has a good game. But the one good thing the Texans have is their defense. Give me the Texans in an ugly game that no one wants to watch.

Texans 19 Ravens 15

Panther Reunion Party: Bucs @ Seahawks

This is a funny quarterback match up between two of the top 3 picks from the 2018 draft. Both of them were drafted by just awful franchises that are still awful to this day and are yet to solve their quarterback problems. I mean those teams ran Joe Flacco and Justin Fields out there last week. These same two quarterbacks once spent a few weeks on the roster together of another terrible franchise, the Carolina Panthers. They too were trying and are still trying to solve their quarterback issues. Both guys left and have found success elsewhere. Baker with the Bucs and then Darnold with the Vikings last year and Seattle this year. It’s almost like they weren’t bad quarterbacks they were just on really crappy teams. This should be a great game. Seattle has exceeded my expectations early this year. Baker has done Baker things but they really have only beaten 3 bad teams. However, they have also done so with some key injuries. I think this will go back and forth as both defenses are playing well but both offenses can score as well. In a close game, Baker does tend to make some risky throws but I still trust Baker more in this spot. Give me the Bucs in the slight upset on the road.

Bucs 27 Seahawks 24

Battle of the Banged up offenses: Commanders @ Chargers (but not really because the Chargers don’t really play home games and I am sure the Commanders will have more fans there).

In good news for the Commanders, Jayden Daniels is back and boy do they need him. Unfortunately, they will still be playing short handed as Scary Terry is hurt and not playing and Austin Ekeler is out for the season and maybe his career. On the other side, the issue isn’t the skill guys but instead their offensive line…or lack there of. The Chargers lost their starting left tackle before the season started. They moved their right tackle to the left and then he got hurt and is out a few weeks. So now they have two back up offensive tackles playing. That was their built in excuse for losing to the Giants last week. Well there is no time for excuses with the Chiefs and Broncos only a game behind them. The Chargers are at home, but that really isn’t an advantage because they don’t have any fans. This should be another good game with two good quarterbacks on a neutral field. I think Jayden gives the Commanders a lift and the win outright to drop the Chargers to 3-2.

Commanders 31 Chargers 27

Look what you Maye me do: Patriots at Bills

The Sunday night could be a fun one. Or it could just be another blow out as the Bills are favored by 8.5 points. The Bills are breaking out their “cold front” uniforms where they dress in all white. Seems like they should have saved these for when it is actually cold, but whatever. The Bills have been rolling since their come from behind victory against the Ravens. But in those wins they have beaten the Jets, Dolphins and Saints. Not exactly the best of the best in the league. The Bills have one of the easiest schedules in the league. The Patriots are getting better and if they didn’t fumble 47 times against the Steelers they would be 3-1 instead of 2-2. Drake Maye is playing great. Their defense is legit. And they have a good coach that knows how to win these sort of games. All of this leads me to pick the Patriots to pull the upset especially since I don’t think the Bills defense is that good. Then I remembered the Bills have Josh Allen. He’s pretty good at football. Vrabel and the Patriots play well and keep it close but in the end Allen is just too much and the Bills escape with the victory. But the Patriots do cover and hey, anything is better than a tie.

Bills 30 Patriots 24

Are we back? I think we are back. Yeah, we are definitely back. Man, I hope we are back: Chiefs @ Jaguars

The Chiefs had an offensive explosion that I haven’t seen since 2022. It was fun and the most relaxing game I have watched the Chiefs play in recent memory. With Worthy back, the offense seems to be clicking. However, they were playing the Ravens defense who by the end of the game were down 6 or 7 starters. The Jaguars will be able to put up more of a fight. They are 3-1 and tied with the Colts for the division lead. They are playing at home and will be highly motivated to finally beat Pat and the Chiefs on this Monday night match up. The Chiefs on the other side will be motivated to win their 3rd in a row and hopefully keep the offense moving. The Jaguars D is opportunistic leading the league in turnovers. But they do give up a lot of yards. Trevor Lawrence is not playing great and tends to make some bad decisions and turn the ball over a little himself. The Chiefs don’t turn the ball over a lot and if they can win the turnover battle in this one they should win. The defense is playing on a high level and could create a couple of turnovers themselves. Or Trevor might hand them a couple. They are busting out their white on white jerseys and they usually win in those. It’s close for a while but the Chiefs pull away in the second half. The Chiefs keep things rolling and force a 3 way tie in the AFC West.

Chiefs 27 Jaguars 17

It’s Thursday, which means it is time for Thursday night football. This game looked like it would be a good one. But now the 49ers are without their QB, TE, top 3 WRs and best defensive player. But don’t fret, I still have 10 awesome reasons to watch tonight’s game.

10. Puka!

Puka is having an incredible year so far and is arguably the best receiver in the league. Plus his name is Puka!

9. Mac Jones basically being Brock Purdy.

Jones looked like he was going to be a failure in this league but it turns out he is just basically Brock Purdy 2.0. You can watch him be average most of the game with a few good plays.

8. See who gets hurt for the 49ers this week.

If you are a fan of the blue tent on the sideline, this game is for you!

7. You can trick your wife into watching football.

“Hey babe, let’s look at amazon tonight.” She will be all about it…for like 30 seconds.

6. Watch former terrible receivers that Mahomes won Super Bowls with.

MVS, Skyy Moore and Demarcus Robinson all play for the 49ers now. And due to injuries…they are all going to be on the field.

5. Watch Blake Corum have a massive game.

Kyren Williams is on my fantasy team. I actually have Corum on my bench. So I fully expect Corum to have 80 yards and 2 tds while the 49ers shut down Williams. It should be a good time.

4. Watch a Shanahan lose.

As a Chiefs fan, I was never a big Mike Shanahan fan. I don’t really have anything against Kyle but I don’t like him that much either. So it is always a pretty good day when a Shanahan loses.

3. Watch Matthew Stafford ball out.

The old man still has it. And I use the term old man loosely since he is still 9 years younger than me. But he is off to a great start. I assume he will keep it rolling against what is left of the 49ers.

2. You get to watch CMC catch 100 passes.

CMC is already 3rd in receptions this year. Not on the team, but in the league. Now the 49ers are missing all their receivers and their back up QB is playing. Look for Mr. Check down to get a lot of action. Assuming he doesn’t get hurt.

1. This game does matter.

As much as I am making fun of this game, these two teams along with the Seahawks are tied for first place in the West. And the Seahawks have a tough game coming up with the Bucs. So there is a good chance that the winner of this game is in first place in the division. In other words, the Rams are going to be in first place in the division.