Another NFL week is in the books. Lots of good games this week, I watched at least 30 seconds of each game which gives me the expertise to rank teams every week. Let’s jump in.

What’s worse than terrible?: Panthers, Patriots, Giants

The Panthers remain the league’s only winless team and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. They do have a bye in two weeks so they probably won’t lose that week. The Patriots have been outscored 72-3 the last two weeks. The Giants have yet to score an offensive touchdown in the first half of a game.

Terrible, just terrible: Bears, Broncos, the team in DC

The Bears lost 14 games in a row going back to last year until their win on Thursday night. Fields looks better against bad defenses but I am far from thinking he is good and their defense is awful. The Commanders almost beat the Eagles but then lost at home to the Bears. They have a defensive head coach but can’t stop anyone. The Broncos continue to ruin my wife’s Sunday every week. They give her just a slither of hope each game and then it quickly gets taken away. The good news is they won’t lose this Sunday because they are going to do that on Thursday instead.

Team I forgot about last week that sucks: Packers

I left the Packers off last week on accident. No one cared or noticed. I wish I didn’t have to talk about them this week. They are not good. I wanted to believe but if you can’t beat the Raiders, who can you beat. Hopefully the bye week helps them get on track.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

They won this week and are now 2-3 but really should have lost but Jordan Love gave them the ball a bunch. They could be 3-3 because they play the Patriots this week. Man, sometimes it is just about who you get to play.

The hustle award: Cardinals

These guys show up every week and put up a fight despite not really having anything going for them. If there was a participation trophy, I’d hand it to them first. I got the hustle award in high school for basketball. This is the award that goes to the player that isn’t a great scorer but runs around a lot and does their best. I see you Cards, and I appreciate you.

Best 1-4 team in the league: Vikings

The Vikings were 11-0 last year in one score games. This year they are 1-4 in those same games. But hey, their Quarterback is a really nice guy. Oh and also they just lost their best player for multiple weeks.

Did they figure it out? Verdict is still out: Jets and Bengals

The Jets have played well in back to back weeks. Is Zach Wilson getting better? Are they figuring it out? The Bengals beat up a scrappy but bad Cardinals team so I am not ready to throw the Bengals towards the top of the list. Their next 4 weeks are Seahawks, bye week, 49ers and Bills. Let’s see how they look after that.

America’s Paper Team: Cowboys

Everyone was singing their praises until they lost to the Cards. Then they beat up on a terrible Patriots team and we are ready to put them in the same category as the Eagles and 49ers??? They suck.

First to 9…wins: Texans, Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Saints, Falcons and Bucs

two of these teams are going to win 9 games and win the division. Congrats to the Bucs, Saints, Falcons, Colts and Jaguars for being a 3rd of the way there.

Best 2-3 team in the league: Rams

The Rams have some good players and a solid coach. They would probably win the NFC South. But unfortunately for them, they play in the NFC West.

Probably going to lose the division title to the Bengals: Steelers, Ravens and Elves

All 3 have had an early opportunity stake their claim with the Bengals struggling. They have all failed to do so. Two of the 3 have beat the Bengals but the Steelers have beat those two. Any of these teams could win the division. But I still think the only one that could win a playoff game is the Bengals.

Didn’t find a way to lose this week: Chargers

They were on a bye.

I forgot them last week and no one noticed: Lions

Look the Lions look good and I think they will be a tough out all year long. I was wrong about them. But they are still the Lions which is why no one is taking them too seriously and I forgot about them.

Seem really good right now because they had a bye and played the Giants the week before: Seahawks

I don’t remember them not being good so we will put them here in the rankings.

Scoring a hell of a lot of points against bad teams: Dolphins

They are really fun to watch play these bad teams. They do not mess around and they have a lot of fast dudes. We will see what happens when the competition gets tougher, but they play the Panthers this week, so look for another fun 50 plus from them.

Can’t have nice things: Bills

What’d I tell ya? One week after a dominating win against the “unstoppable” Dolphins they turn around and lose to the Jags in London. I feel sorry for Bills fans, I really do.

Can’t beat us, the swifties, and the refs!: Chiefs

Everyone hates us. I’d hate us too. You know what I hate more than the refs helping us win? Losing. Oh and on a side note, our defense hasn’t given up more than 20 points in a game this year and you know our offense is going to figure it out eventually. Good luck, everyone.

Beating everybody and haven’t figured it out yet: Eagles

They don’t look good but they still look better than everyone but the 49ers.

Enjoying being the best until everyone gets hurt: 49ers

It’s inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before the injuries pile up. But today the 49ers look like they are better than everyone else.

Tune in on Friday for 5 for Friday. I’ve gone 5-0 in back to back weeks! This past week I didn’t even need Taylor Swift’s help.