Only 2 weeks of the regular season left to go and so much is still up for grabs. While 11 of 14 playoff spots have been locked in, only one division winner have been set. Meaning we could not know where everyone is seeded until the end of week 18. For instance the Broncos can win out and be the 1 seed. But if the Chargers win this week and beat the Broncos, then the Broncos go from being the 1 seed to being a wild card. I’ll break down all the scenarios and what you should be cheering for to create maximum chaos tomorrow. But for now, let’s look at this week’s rankings. Today I rank the teams 32-1 with a gift that each team would want. Let’s dive in.

32: Chiefs: Matt Nagy to get a coaching job somewhere else.

I know non Chief fans think I am biased because over the years I have had the Chiefs ranked high most of the time, but to be fair they have been the best team most of the time since I started writing these blogs. But I am fair when it comes to my rankings. And all year I have said, if you lose to the Titans you get ranked as the worst team for that week. Also, without Patrick, I’m not sure that they aren’t the worst team. They weren’t good with Patrick but he was holding that thing together more than we even knew. A lot of the blame is on Andy and Veach for the team they put together around Patrick. But they are both staying and rightfully so. But Matt Nagy needs to go. Since he became OC in place of Eric Bienemy, the offense has been drastically worse. More on that when I breakdown my Chiefs wish list in the next couple of weeks. Also, to pour salt in the wounds of Chiefs fans in Missouri, the stadium is moving to hated Kansas. More on that in another post later today.

31. Titans: Not to hire Matt Nagy as their head coach

As much as I want Nagy gone, Titans fans should not want him hired. He failed at Chicago and hasn’t been good as OC for the Chiefs. But the Titans do dumb things so here is hoping they hire him anyway.

30. Jets: a playoff appearance in 2026

The lowly Jets haven’t been to the playoffs since 2010. The longest drought in the league. Sadly, they do not look particularly close to making the playoffs.

29. Browns: A quarterback to play a full season

Seriously, when was the last time this happened? Baker? I mean what are the doing next year? Are they going to roll Watson back out there? Shedur? What a mess.

28. Raiders: To stop getting worse

It seems every decision and every move they make back fires. I mean somehow they are worse than last year even though they have at least in theory a better QB and better coach. Not even Tom Brady being involved can save this dumpster fire.

27. Giants: Jaxson Dart to stay alive

Dart and Skattebo are fun but pretty reckless. They are the only hope they have though so someone should teach Dart how to slide.

26. Cardinals: Everyone to play as well as Jacoby Brissett

Brissett has been awesome this year. Unfortunately for whatever the reason as soon as he started playing well the defense became awful.

25. Commanders: This season to be over.

The Commanders have a ton of injuries and after making the NFC championship game last year, everything has been terrible this year. They are ready to move on to 2026.

24. Falcons: to keep winning.

The Falcons are on a bit of a win streak. Normally, when you are eliminated from the playoffs it is better to lose for draft position. But since the Rams have their first round pick, might as well keep on winning.

23. Vikings: To go back in time

The Vikings wish they could go back in time, not draft JJ McCarthy and sign Sam Darnold to a better deal. They actually have a good football team, but quarterback play has been awful.

22. Dolphins: Tua to retire

Tua is not good. But the Dolphins are screwed because they owe him so much money.

21. Saints: Win out

The Saints have won 3 in a row and have the titans next and then the Falcons. They could finish the year on a 5 game win streak and have all the good vibes going into next year.

20. Bengals: Joe Burrow to have fun

Shockingly, there seems to be a correlation of winning to the amount of fun Joe is having. When the Bengals lose, he is sad and not having fun. When they win, he has more fun and is happy. I feel ya, Joe.

19. Cowboys: a drama free offseason

Who’s excited for the Jerry Jones signing George Pickens saga? It’s going to be epic.

18. Bucs: September Baker

Remember when Baker lead a 4th quarter comeback every week instead of throwing a 4th quarter interception every week? That was fun.

17. Ravens: Lamar to stop getting hurt.

Lamar has a new ailment every week. He’s like me every morning when I wake up, and something new always hurts.

16. Colts: Their defense to show back up

Old Man Rivers balled out last night. But it didn’t matter because the Colts couldn’t stop anything.

15. Panthers: To win two games in a row

Since the end of October, the Panthers have won every other week. They won last week but play Seattle this week so it isn’t looking good.

14. Lions: The Packers to lose out.

The Lions are pretty much toast because if the Packers win one more game, they are done. The Packers play the Ravens and the Vikings.

13. Steelers: DK Metcalf to stop punching fans.

Steelers fans thought George Pickens was a headache. Dk was like, hold my beer…while I give a person a literal headache by punching them.

12. Bears: everything to continue to go their way

In order to beat the Packers, they needed the Packers QB to get hurt. The Packers running back to get hurt. The Packers to make a couple dumb mistakes in the red zone. Caleb to make a good throw when he hadn’t made one all day. Recover an onside kick. Have the Packers make another mistake by fumbling a snap and then have Caleb make another amazing throw. In short, do I believe in the Bears yet? I do not.

11. Texans: a more functional offense

That defense is stingy. That offense is stinky.

10. Packers: players to stop getting hurt

I think the Packers when healthy can make a run. But they are not healthy and starting to run out of players.

9. Chargers: win a playoff game

The Chargers just keep quietly winning football games. Their defense is great. Herbert has been playing well. But if they lose in the first round of the playoffs, the story will be the same. Herbert can’t win when it matters.

8. Eagles: no more drama

When they can just all keep their mouths shut and go play football they are pretty good.

7. Bills: James Cook to keep running all over the place

Josh Allen has been great. Cook has been better. People keep saying that Josh Allen has been better than Mahomes the last 2 or 3 years. I don’t disagree, but also he has James Cook and an offensive line that can block.

6. Broncos: Defense from first half of the year to return

You remember when their defense had like 10 sacks a game and didn’t let anyone score? We haven’t seen them in a while. But don’t worry the Chiefs will help them return on Christmas night.

5. Patriots: Drake Maye to keep balling out

Maye has been awesome pretty much all year. I don’t think they are a great team. But they will go as far as the second year QB can take them.

4. Jags: the hair to stay on a tear

Now that I believe in the Jags, they will probably lose this week. But that was a very impressive win on Sunday. Maybe the most impressive win of the season. They went on the road and beat who I thought was the best team in the AFC.

3. Seahawks: Sam Darnold to not do Sam Darnold things when it matters

I know some may say it is unfair to have the Rams ahead of the Seahawks since the Seahawks just beat them. But my concern about the Seahawks is the same as it has always been. Sam had 3 turnovers in that game, and if it wasn’t for a punt return for a td and the weirdest 2 point conversion ever, we aren’t even debating which team is better.

2. 49ers: keep not punting

The 49ers haven’t punted since sometime in November. The offense is humming. The defense is doing enough. If they win out, they are the 1 seed.

1. Rams: Win the Super Bowl

The Rams are likely going to be the 5 seed which is sort of funny because they are going to be 13-4. But due to tie breakers, it is what it is. Technically if the 49ers lose to the Bears and then beat Seattle, the Rams could be the 1 seed which is far from impossible. But regardless, they are still the team I trust the most.

Super Bowl Prediction: Rams over Bills

Who the heck knows. I think everyone who will get in the playoffs has a shot besides the Steelers and whoever wins the NFC South. But for now, I’ll go with the two Quarterbacks I trust the most in the playoffs.