Since all the AFC games are first, followed by all the NFC games, I decided to break the post accordingly. I’ll give you my take on what will happen this weekend. I’m not always right but I am seldom always wrong. Let’s get started.

The battle of cursed franchises: Elves @ Texans Saturday on NBC at 2:30 Mountain time (your job to figure out where you live)

The post season kicks off with two teams everyone thought would make it to the post season, the elves (Browns) and the Texans. The Texans have really been a disaster since they last were in the playoffs when they gave up a 24-0 lead and lost 51-31 to some team…who was it? I can’t remember. Anyway, after a losing season the following year, Watson’s massage extravaganza, and multiple bad coaching hires they seemed to have found their way. Demeco Ryans seems to be the guy but they really should be thinking Lovie Smith who led their team to one too many victories landing them in the 2 spot instead of the first pick of the draft. I know some of it is circumstantial but CJ Stroud was drastically better than Bryce Young and it’s not close. The Texans have a lot of young talent, unfortunately a good portion of it is injured. They do play at home which is nice. 

This should be the return of massage boy but he is injured and kind of sucked when he was healthy. So they dragged Joe Flacco off his crappy house boat and all he has done is completely balled out. It is literally one of the more bizarre things I have seen. I mean if they had brought him in sooner they might be the one seed. The Elves nickname is literally the only good thing Jamaar Chase has ever brought to the table. But Chase is sitting at home and the Browns are playing so who is laughing now? They have a solid roster but think how much better it could be if they weren’t spending 50 million on Watson to sit in the stands or where ever he is. It’s Flacco’s team now. I can just hear him in the huddle late in the game; pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory is forever. 

Reason for the Texans to have hope: The Texans have a lot of bad luck, but who has more bad luck in the AFC than the browns? They have nothing to lose and know one expects them to make a run. They are young and fun and their coach will have them ready to play.

Reason for the Elves to have hope: Besides Joe Flacco? I mean what else do you need? Well, how about a great and opportunistic defense, a good run game, solid skill players and a lot of good mojo right now. 

Prediction: I mean the Texans are fun but the Browns should win this game. They have the more experienced and better overall roster. They are healthier and their one injury actually benefited them because they would not be where they are with Watson at QB. Normally both of these teams find a way to lose in the postseason but in good news, at least one of them has to win. My money is on the Elves and I don’t think it will be all that close.

Elves 31 Texans 20

The Frozen Tuna Game: Dolphins @ Chiefs Saturday on stupid Peacock at 6 PM mountain time

Apparently it is going to be really cold at Arrowhead on Saturday night. Like below zero cold. It is supposed to be -5 at kickoff and feel like -12. I went to Arrowhead for the first time since high school this year. Being at the game live exceeded all my expectations. That being said…I am glad I’ll be watching this one from my couch. The cold does not bode well for the Dolphins. They haven’t won a game where the temperature was 36 degrees or lower since 2017. And this isn’t just cold, it is real cold. The Dolphins also only have one win against a team with a winning record. Miami is also only 4-4 on the road. They do have Tyreek Hill who is incredible but deep down you can tell he is not over the Chiefs. Taylor will be there to sing we are never ever getting back together. The Dolphins also have injury issues on both sides of the ball.

The Chiefs on the other hand have handled bad weather before. Mahomes is a “snow guy” despite being from Texas. However, the Chiefs are only 4-4 at Arrowhead this year. The chiefs also have 3 major problems, drops, penalties and turnovers. On the flip side, the defense has been outstanding. They are number 2 in points allowed. They get pressure on the QB they have shut down pretty much every top receiver they have faced. For all the bad the offense has done, the defense has done equal good. They keep this team in every game.

Reason for the Dolphins to have hope: They have Tyreek and a lot of other weapons. The defense is beat up but the Chiefs offense has been far from dangerous. Sure they haven’t won in cold temps for close to a decade and only have one win over a team with a winning record. But streaks are meant to be broken. Plus the Chiefs have a lot of drops, turnovers and penalties.

Reason for the Chiefs to have hope: They have Pat Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Andy Reid. They have a top notch defense that still gets little credit. Everyone has pretty much written them off. They can’t possibly continue to have this many drops, penalties and turnovers. Also, it is going to be -5 which favors the Chiefs.

Prediction: I actually like the Dolphins. I like Tyreek. I think their coach is funny. But I trust Mahomes and company more. I don’t if they can flip the script but I think the Bengals game help them realize that if they just don’t make mistakes and get any points even if it is 3 points they got a shot. Plus it is going to be -5. I just can’t imagine losing this game at home on Saturday night in the cold. I think the Chiefs offense plays better than usual and Pat gets to go play his first ever road playoff game so everyone can shut up about that.

Chiefs 27 Dolphins 19

Winner vs Loser: Steelers @ Bills on CBS at 11 AM Mountain Time

Kicking off the Sunday games is the last AFC game of the weekend. The Bills are the media’s favorite team. They were 7-6 and finished 11-6. But it hasn’t exactly been pretty. Besides kicking the crap out of the Cowboys, they could have just as easily lost most of those games. Josh Allen is still careless at times with the ball. Overall they are playing well but mistakes could be their undoing. The Bills in general, are not losers but they are post season losers. 

The Steelers find a way to finish with a winning record every year. It really is remarkable with the lack of Quarterback play they have had the last few years. This year, they got there with Mason Rudolph. That’s right, Mason Rudolph. He’s the same guy that got hit in the head with a helmet by Myles Garrett a few years back. He didn’t do much between those two events. The Steelers are also post season winners hoisting 6 lombardi’s over the years. Unfortunately, history is about all the Steelers have going for them. They are not very good over all and their best player, TJ Watt is out. Not the best sign for their success. 

Reason for the Steelers to have hope: The Bills tend to come up short and find a way to lose in the playoffs. Maybe that will be this Sunday.

Reason for the Bills to have hope: They have the better QB, the better skill guys and a good enough defense to stop the Pittsburgh offense. 

Prediction: Barring a Josh Allen and Bills meltdown, they should win this game. The Steelers are scrappy and will be well prepared and will likely keep it close for a while. But in the end the Bills will be too much for them.

Bills 24 Steelers 13

Tune in tomorrow for the NFC games.