Well thanks to my girl, Tay Tay, I went 5-0 last week and am now 15-5 on the year. Lets see if I can keep it rolling on 5 for Friday on week 5. That’s a lot of fives.

London Bills are falling down: Jaguars @ Bills in London

You may have not been up early enough to watch the Jags beat the Falcons last week. And unless you have ESPN Plus you couldn’t watch it all. Or so I thought. Then I stumbled upon the reality that I could watch it on Disney Plus only instead of a normal looking game, it was toy story style in Andy’s room. It was actually quite fun and is now my daughter’s and my sister’s preferred way to watch football. The Jaguars basically want to be in London and if you have ever been to Jacksonville, you know why. Their fan base is not overly supportive but to be fair to the people in Jacksonville, their team has sucked the majority of their existence. The Jags have underachieved so far and Trevor Lawrence has not performed well. It seems like he doesn’t even care about my fantasy team. Meanwhile, since the week 1 debacle, the Bills have looked like the best team in the AFC especially after dominating the Dolphins last week. Now Von Miller is coming back so they should be even better defensively. Everything is headed in the right direction. But as I always say, the Bills can’t have nice things. The Jags have spent the last two weeks in London hanging out with my nephew so they will be more rested and come out and play their best game. The Bills do what they always do when the have success. Quickly throw it away.

Jags 30 Bills 24

Home Alone vs No one’s home: Bengals @ Cardinals

There will be a quarterback who is playing really well in the Cardinals stadium this week. His name of course is Joshua Dobbs just like we all suspected. The Cardinals might not have many fans in the stands or good players or an owner that cares about winning or a coach with any experience. But they are scrappy. I remember one time I did something to piss off my brother when he was in college and I was like a freshman in high school. He was at his physical peak. 6’4, 220 working out every day for football. He was a kicker in college and in fact I think what I did to piss him off was make fun of him for being a kicker but I am not quite sure. Anyway, we were at my grandma’s house and then we got home and right as I walk in he turns around throws me up against the wall and says what’s your problem. I was the same height I am now, but weighed 120 pounds if my clothes were soaking wet. How much I weigh now is not important and we don’t need to talk about it. Anyway, I should have shuddered at this giant. But instead I looked at him and said, I don’t have a problem, what’s your problem. He then asked if I wanted to take it outside to solve things. I again should have said, “nah, I’m good.” But instead I said something dumb like “Let’s do it.” We went into the front yard and he begin to toss me around like a rag doll. I didn’t cry and I also didn’t stay down. I just kept getting back up for no apparent reason even though I knew I was just going to get my ass kicked some more. By the time we finally stopped, my brother was cheering me on. That is how I feel about the Cardinals. I think they know they suck and they don’t care. They just go out there and play scrappy football and keep getting back up each week. And honestly, you sort of start cheering for them. I mean, not the crowd because no one is actually at the game but at home on my couch, I’m like you go cards.

The Bengals on the other hand have a ton of talent. They have arguably the best trio of wide receivers in the league. A good defense and other good players all around. I get that Macualay Culkin is hurt. He is playing through injury but he is not playing well. This week he said this is a must win game. You think. The Bengals need this win. Losing to the Cardinals is bad, going to 1-4 is worse. My gut is saying the Cards get the win but I can’t imagine a world where a Josh Dobbs led Cardinals team has a better record than a Joe Burrow led Bengals team. I’m going Bengals here but it will bring me much joy if the Cardinals win.

Bengals 20- Cardinals 17

Can they Hackett: Jets @ Broncos

The Broncos were a disaster last year with the Russ and Hackett show. It was a bumpy “ride” that ended with the firing of Hackett. Sean Payton said some mean things about everyone when he talked about the team before the season started. Rodgers and others came to Hackett’s defense. Payton then tried to pull back from his comments but it was too late. Payton then proceeded to go 1-3 in the first 4 games and give up 70 points in a game. While the offense does look better than last year, the defense looks significantly worse. Like bottom of the league worse. And even the offense has some of the same issues. Holding penalties, delay of games, etc. Here is the reality of the Broncos that I have been saying since everyone in the Denver media blamed everything on Drew Lock. Drew wasn’t that good but neither is the rest of the roster. Since Peyton Manning retired all I heard was they just need a QB. They were a QB away. Then they got their QB and then they said, we are just a Coach away. The reality is they are really a receiver, 2 or 3 offensive linemen, 2 linebackers, a corner, a defensive end, a safety and a kicker away from success.

The Jets on the other hand I think are actually a quarterback away. Well maybe a quarterback and a couple of offensive linemen away. They had the quarterback but because they are the Jets, he got hurt on the 4th play of the year. Zach Wilson finally played well but can he do it two games in a row? No better place to do it than against the Denver D. I am sure both teams will be motivated to win on top of not wanting to drop to 1-4. I don’t really have confidence in either offense but I know the Jets can stop people and I know the Broncos can’t.

Jets 27 Broncos 17

Cross it off the list!: Chiefs @ Vikings

I actually am concerned about this game. The Vikings are very close to being 3-1 instead of 1-3. They have the best receiver in the game and solid other offensive players. Our defense has looked good but just got carved up by Zach Wilson. Our offense on the other hand has not looked great except against the Bears but everyone’s offense looks great against the Bears. Mahomes said this week if he plays better than everyone will play better. It seems Mahomes is a little mad at himself. The only thing better than Mahomes is pissed off Mahomes. The Vikings must win this game so I think they will throw everything at the Chiefs to try and win. This will be the biggest test our D has faced. But if we win, Andy moves into sole possession of number 4 on the list of career wins. And if we win Mahomes will have beaten all other 31 teams. I am sure he will be the fastest or youngest player to do that or whatever, just like everything else he does. So this is the Cross it off the list game. Also, I have not heard any news of Taylor Swift attending which will make some people very happy and some people very sad. Just like Taylor Swift in general. This will be a close one and we all know how those games go for the Vikings.

Chiefs 34 Vikings 31

The we were great when you were a kid game: Cowboys @ 49ers

Growing up in the 80s and 90s there were a lot of good football teams but there were two dominant teams, the 49ers in the 80s and the Cowboys in the 90s. Although the 49ers were also good in the 90s and won a super bowl. But these two teams were the standard. Then came Brady and Peyton and the AFC became the show for the most part. But in a lot of ways the Cowboys and 49ers have become more unlikable without the success because their fans like to live in the past and act like these franchises are still the cream of the crop despite the fact that I was in high school the last time either of these teams won a championship.

To be fair to the 49ers they have at least been to a couple of super bowls and won some playoff games. The Cowboys since their last super bowl win have gone 5-12 in playoff games. Not good. Both of these teams have very good defenses. The difference is the 49ers also have a really good offense. The Cowboys get talked about because they are the Cowboys. The 49ers get talked about because they are good. The 49ers might be the best team in the league right now. Meanwhile, the Cowboys lost to the Cardinals. To the disappointment of Skip Bayless the 49ers will win easily and he will spend his Monday talking about 4 bad throws Patrick Mahomes has made over his career.

49ers 31 Cowboys 20