Another week is in the books of the NFL as we head into week 5. Apparently, MLB is in the playoffs right now. I wouldn’t know because my team was mathematically eliminated in early June. Luckily my football team is real good. Let’s get into this week’s rankings.

Terrible, just Terrible: Bears, Panthers, Broncos, Giants, Patriots

Broncos won but barely and they are still just 1 week away from giving up 70 points so they stay in the worst category for now. Panthers can’t beat anyone. Bears are worse than the Panthers. Patriots have no offense and the Giants just gave up 11 sacks and are just awful.

Raiders gonna Raider: Raiders

Despite giving up 6 sacks to one guy, they still had a shot to win at the end. They did not. Josh McDaniels continues on his path to becoming the worst head coach in NFL history.

Not good, but scrappy: Cardinals and Jets

Jets defense is real good. If Zach Wilson plays like he did on Sunday night, they could move up the rankings. I am confident he will not, though. Cardinals are not good at all but somehow play everyone tough. Good for them.

First to 9, wins: Titans, Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Falcons, Saints and Bucs

These teams are competing to win 9 games so they can win their divisions. Congrats to the Bucs for being a third of the way there.

I think these teams might actually really suck: Vikings and Bengals

I’ve been making a lot of excuses for both these teams because on paper they are talented but after the Vikings barely beat the Panthers and the Bengals got crushed by the Titans, I think they just aren’t that good. They have this week to prove me wrong otherwise they will be headed towards the Terrible category.

Lucky to be .500: Rams, Elves, Steelers, Chargers and the Washington whatever their names are

Chargers are the best of the bunch and they should have lost the last two games because their coach is an idiot. Everyone else looks competitive one week and hot garbage the next. Apparently according the Elves head coach, Massage Boy was cleared to play on Sunday but choose not to. So things are going well in Cleveland as always.

3-1 but no one cares: Ravens and Seahawks

Both these teams are quietly 3-1. They have never looked great or terrible. No one is really talking about them because they know the Seahawks can’t hang with the top NFC teams and the Ravens will eventually run out of players.

Real Good when the other team gives them the ball a lot: Cowboys

Cowboys D is real good and very opportunistic. Their offense is, eh.

Scored 70 and then turned around and gave up 50: Dolphins

Okay, it was 48, but still. Dolphins are good but they are going to have to figure out how to beat the Bills at some point. They are like 1-9 in their last 10 against them.

Refs helped us win and I don’t care: Chiefs

I disagree that it was a bad call. I do agree that they had not been calling it all night. This is the problem in the NFL right now. They get feedback that all the penalties are making viewership disgruntled so they are calling things less but then it gets crunch time and they feel like they have to call it. It’s the inconsistency that is the problem. Also, there were bad calls on both sides. The safety shouldn’t have been a safety, the horse collar penalty shouldn’t have been a horse collar penalty. I am sure they missed holding penalties on both sides. Such is life. My team won so I don’t care.

Real good when their QB throws to the right team: Bills

Bills are a very good football team. Josh Allen is a good quarterback. Sometimes he gets a little too aggressive and makes dumb decisions. When he doesn’t do that, they win 48-20.

Crash course towards the NFC Championship: 49ers and Eagles

49ers look great and are 4-0. The Eagles don’t look like they have figured it out yet. They are also 4-0. Barring injury, these two teams will play to see who loses in the Super Bowl.

Tune in Friday for 5 for Friday. T-Swift and I were 5-0 last week.