I know most of the news is about Taylor Swift yelling “let’s f’ing go” at the Chiefs game and walking down a hallway next to Travis after the game but there were also a bunch of football games this weekend. Week 3 is in the books and we continue to learn a little more about where teams stand. Looking forward to seeing how Thursday night and the games over the weekend shake out but for now, here are the rankings for this week. Rankings are from Worst to First.

Gave up 70 Freaking Points!!!: Denver Broncos

Perhaps Sean Payton should have kept his mouth shut and not did so much smack talking on Nathaniel Hackett and the previous regime. They were terrible, no doubt but you know what they never did…give up 70 freaking points! In fact no one had given up 70 points since 1966. And it could have been worse. This team is a disaster but still has a great chance to be 2-3 heading into a Thursday night game against the Chiefs in week 6. If they can’t beat the Bears and the Jets then they got even more problems than we think.

Ended hype train by losing to a team that isn’t trying: Cowboys

The Cowboys are better than many of the teams listed ahead of them but they pay the price for losing to a team that from a front office perspective at least, isn’t trying and also for getting me knocked out of a Survival league. This is their one week punishment. The good news is we don’t have to listen to all the commentators talk about how they are the best football team in the league this week.

Teams that are still terrible: Bears, Cardinals, Panthers, Jets, Raiders, Giants

The Cardinals one win doesn’t get them out of this category. Panthers still suck with Andy Dalton playing. Jets o-line and quarterback are both garbage. I don’t know how much longer they can waste this talented football team by running Zach Wilson out there. Justin Fields is terrible at playing quarterback. He’s not even a good fantasy quarterback anymore. Giants had a good year last year but look just awful so far. Raiders have one win over a team that just gave up 70. They can’t run the ball at all and Jimmy G is not good and McDaniels is worse. But they don’t have any money so they are stuck with him. It’s glorious.

Somebody is going to mess around and win 9 games and a division title: Saints, Bucs, Falcons, Titans, Texans, Jaguars, Colts

Two of these teams are going to win their division. I don’t know which ones and I don’t think it matters.

Boring but better than these other teams I guess: Patriots

I get bored even thinking about writing something about them.

Showed their true colors: Commanders

Washington had barely beat a team that isn’t trying and team that just gave up 70 points. Once faced with a good opponent they lost by 34. The EB offense was not clicking this week.

Best 0-3 Team Ever?: Vikings

The Vikings were 11-0 last year in 1 score games. This year they are 0-3. They also have lost 7 fumbles. Cousins is a really nice guy but made a lot of bad decisions this week. I guess nice guys really do finish last.

Need a new coach: Chargers

The Chargers won despite questionable play calling. If the Chargers had been playing anybody but the other team who always finds a way to lose, they would be 0-3. Why their coach chose to go for it on 4th and 1 from their own 24 while up 4 points is beyond me. Kick that sucker away and make them drive the length of the field. Also, if you are going to go for it, why are you handing off to the guy who hadn’t gained a yard all game. Trust me…I know, Josh Kelly is on my fantasy team (but not for long).

Battling for second place in the NFC West: Rams and Seahawks

These teams are both…okay. They will be competitive most weeks and might even make the playoffs. Neither are anywhere close to being as good as the 49ers.

Don’t Burrow them yet: Bengals

The stupid Bengals showed some life last night and beat the Rams. They now head to the Titans and then to the Cardinals and host Seattle before their bye. If they aren’t at least .500 at the bye then people should panic.

Might win the division…I guess: Lions, Packers, Ravens, Steelers and Elves

These 5 teams are all 2-1. They all have looked decent at times and bad at other times. Not sure what will happen but I am sure it will start to sort itself out starting on Thursday night with the Lions @ Packers.

These teams have defenses now??? Chiefs and Bills

You knew these two were going to figure out their offenses but so far their defenses have looked great. Bills are going to get Von back and that will make them that much better and the Chiefs D is still young and learning but we look real good without Chris Jones playing a lot yet. Both these teams are going to be a tough out.

NFC Juggernauts: 49ers and Eagles

These two are the clear cream of the crop in the NFC and there isn’t a close 3rd.

Put up 70: Dolphins

Look, I don’t know if it is sustainable. I don’t know if they can beat the Bills or Chiefs when it matters most. I don’t know if Tua can survive the season. He’s only been sacked once so that helps. But they are two days from scoring 70 so if you score 70 you get to be at the top of the list…at least for a week.

Tune in Friday for a very special edition of the 5 for Friday. You Swifties are going to love it.