Even with the Madness over and NFL Free Agency dying down, there are still some things going on in the sports world. Here are 5 of them.

Cam is being Selective even though no one is selecting him:

Cam Newton has always been a polarizing figure from stealing computers or whatever at Florida to wearing flamboyant clothing and hats in present day. He had a great year in college at Auburn and had a few good years in the NFL including leading the Panthers to the Super Bowl. My wife is a big Broncos fan and a big hater of Cam. “He’s cocky, annoying, etc.” She claims that the Broncos broke Cam in the Super Bowl. And honestly I can’t disagree. He really has never been the same since that game. His play has deteriorated but he is still loud and cocky. He recently claimed that there wasn’t 32 other quarterbacks better than him. He said it less nicely. But it appears that the league disagrees. Now he is willing to be a back up but only in certain places. He has a list of places that he is willing to go. His list is odd and inconsistent but so is Cam. The problem for Cam is not that he is being selective it is that no one is selecting him. I had the same problem once. I was out on the play ground and they were picking teams for kickball and I was like I will either be shortstop behind Jason Jenks or JD Smither. And the team captains were like…I pick Shawn Benson. I then went and sat on the swings. So I feel you Cam, I really do. I am in a sports group on Facebook and they were saying Cam is way better than Brian Hoyer. But what you want in your back up quarterback is someone who is out of sight out of mind. He is the guy on your team you hope never plays and you sort of forget about. Chad Henne was great when he came in a couple of times but most of the time I forgot he was even on the team. That’s Brian Hoyer. That is not Cam. But don’t worry buddy, I got a seat on the swing set open for you.

10 year old Daughter wins Bracket Challenge:

We did a family bracket challenge this year. My 10 year old daughter won. She knows the following things about college basketball.

1. Dad loves Mizzou.
2. Mizzou is terrible in the tournament.
3. Uncle Asa loves Duke.

That’s it. And that worked to her advantage. While the rest of us thought it through and picked wisely, she just picked randomly with her heart. Danielle even went with the Luke Neal (Luke is a friend of ours) philosophy of picking all the higher seeds. Usually a strong strategy, it failed miserably this year. I finished second in our bracket with a whopping 53 points. To put this in perspective there was a total of 192 points possible. Savannah didn’t crush it by any means. She was towards the bottom for most of the tournament. But she did pick the champion. I was watching her make her picks and she said I like UConn. They are the Huskies. I like puppies. And off she went scoring 90 points with the only team out of all of us in the final four. So next year’s strategy…pick your favorite mascot and roll with it.

Royals start the season in the most Royal way ever:

After 7 games, all at home the Royals are a whopping 1-6. After a promising spring, we are right where I thought we would be. Terrible. All the young exciting bats have led us to lead the league in fewest runs scored with 17. It took 3 games to even score a run. We are basically already mathematically eliminated. The Royals either go one of two ways. Start out hot and then quickly crash in a few weeks giving us a slimmer of hope for a very short time. Or start out bad and then keep being bad until September and then tear it up for a month to give us false hope going into next year. So be ready for some exciting baseball once football season starts and you no longer care. Go Royals.

Tyreek is saying dumb things again and is plotting to take over the world:

I love Tyreek, I really do. But he is one crazy dude. I don’t know why you would talk smack on the Super Bowl Champions in the month of April, but that is how he rolls. Apparently we better watch out because he knows all our signs. I am sure it will be tough to change those if we haven’t already but thanks for the tip. He also said he hates to have to put up the peace sign on us but you know what for some reason I don’t believe him. I think he is real excited about putting up the peace sign. I am excited too because now that is a penalty. Chris Jones had the best response stating that the only time he is going to put up the peace sign is on his way to the bus. Classic. Speaking of Jones can we sign him to an extension already? Dude is amazing and loyal. He has said he will never play for another team. So let’s get this deal done. Did you know he is the only Chief in history to have multiple seasons with 15 or more sacks? Not even DT ever did that. So let’s make him a lifer already. Kelce, Mahomes, Bolton and Jones. Those 4 need to stay no matter the price.

Anyway, apparently Tyreek is also already planning his retirement and then is going to take over the world one video game company at a time or something. Tyreek was talking to Gehrig Dieter who is a long time practice squad guy who finally retired to become Tyreek’s wing man. This whole conversation between the two of them reminded me of Pinky and the Brain from Animaniacs. For those of you who don’t know, they are Pinky and the brain, one is a genius, the other is insane, they are labratory mice, who’s genes have been spliced, their dinky, their pinky and the brain, brain, brain, brain, brain. Now that I have got that song stuck in your head, I’ll let you decide which of Tyreek and Dieter are the genius and which one is insane. (Spoiler alert, I don’t think either one of them is a genius). Anyway, congrats to Tyreek on his near retirement.

Sports Depression Season:

Every year around this time, I get sort of grumpy and annoyed and moody. And every year, I think what is wrong with me. Danielle has to remind me it is your Sports Depression Season. Apparently I have 4 seasons of my life as well. While the world has Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter, I have the following seasons: Football Season, Playoff Football Season, NFL Free Agency/March Madness Season, and now Sports Depression season. The depression really starts the day after the Super Bowl. Now if the Chiefs win it starts like 2 weeks after the super bowl because I spend about 2 weeks rewatching at least parts of the Super Bowl each night. It starts sooner if we don’t win the Super Bowl. But either way it actually starts sooner but it is sort of hidden by NFL Free Agency and then March Madness. But after the Madness it really sinks in. The Royals are terrible and baseball isn’t real exciting to watch on tv. My family bans me from watching the XFL or whatever other crap leagues are playing football which is fair because I am pretty obsessed during the NFL season. You remember that streak of terrible Thursday night football games that were so bad that Al Michaels was making fun of them? I watched all of those from beginning to end. The NBA is eh, I mean I don’t think they care too much so why should I? I think hockey might still be going on…I’m not sure. Really I am just moping around until football starts again. I am finding out that I am not the only one who suffers from Sports Depression Season. So here are a ten tips to help you through this difficult time.

1. Throw yourself into your work: If you work really hard now and hit a bunch of your goals then you won’t have as much to do during football season.
2. Fantasy Football Mock drafts: the system isn’t up yet but sometime after the draft, you’ll be able to waste hours upon hours mocking drafting with playa69 and other random people on the web who will talk smack about who you picked in round 8. If you really want to piss off complete strangers pick players from all one team or all one position.
3. Watch the second half of the super bowl over and over and over again: This is the cure for all depression really.
4. Google your favorite football team and read articles about them: It is so much fun to read the exact same article on 6 different outlets. Or even better read some commentary about who the Chiefs should draft writtin by some guy who is a whopping 5% more qualified to write that article then you are.
5. Read a book: Just kidding…no one wants to do that.
6. Go outside: Apparently there is a whole world out there with mountains and water and trees. At least that is what I see on commercials.
7. Spend lots of time with your kids: Fill up those relationship buckets now so that you can drain them dry from September through February when you are glued to the TV seeing which crap NFC south is going to win the divison.
8. Do that thing your spouse has been asking you to do with them for the last 6 months: That way when it is the middle of October and you are watching the Colts play the Texans on Thursday night and your spouse says “you care more about football than you do me!” You can fire back, “That’s not true! You remember that time we went downtown and had fondue back in May? That’s true love, baby!”
9. Write a Sports blog for your friends and family to read: But make sure we have different friends and family, I don’t need the competition.
10. Watch Friday Night Lights and Ted Lasso over and over again: It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

There you go, now you are all healed. Happy Good Friday and Happy Easter everyone!