I am dedicating today’s rankings to the great Mike Leach who suddenly passed away due to a heart attack. Leach was a national treasure. Often controversial but always entertaining. He made hilarious comments and would do crazy stuff. In the honor of Coach Leach and ranking stuff check out the link below where he ranks the Pac 12 teams based upon mascots.

https://www.foxsports.com/watch/1604857923802

You will be missed, Mike, and the college football world won’t be the same without you.

Teams Playing in the Super Bowl: Eagles and Bills

Nothing happened on Sunday that would change my prediction at this point. The Bills won a gritty game in bad weather against a good Jets team that desperately needed to win. The Eagles absolutely destroyed an okay Giants team that desperately needed to win. Both these teams can beat you running, throwing and with defense. Both are beatable on the right day, but they are getting better when other teams look like they are getting worse.

Team I still hate: Bengals

Right behind the top two teams is the stupid Bengals and stupid Joe Burrow. I was hoping he would lose again to the Browns but they are such a mess that it didn’t happen. There was nothing wrong with their win but also nothing that made me think they are better than the Bills. The Bengals and Bills are still ahead of the Chiefs because they are willing to change who they are to win and the Chiefs are going to throw the ball 50 times a game regardless.

Team I said that not even they could play down to the level of their competition this week and they said, “hold my beer.”: Chiefs

I mean…can I just have one damn game where I can just relax? It’s like they have to make every game interesting until the very end. There is a simple solution. It’s called running the ball and dumping it off quickly to your backs. McKinnon and Pacheco had an absolute hey day all game but they don’t get enough touches. Instead, Mahomes is throwing picks trying to force it into Kelce. I swear, we should just spot the the team 14 points and then just get on with it. And how bad is our defense that we let a team that was averaging 11 points a game score 28? I love this team and they have overachieved in a lot of ways. I didn’t expect us to go to the super bowl when the season started so I guess I can lower my expectations again and be happy we are about to win our 7th AFC West title in a row. Honestly, I think we are a year away but it is fun we are in it. But if next week is close against the Texans then I will just assume I am going to have to prepare my heart every single week for the rest of my life.

Team that could win a regular season game with me playing QB: 49ers

I know Kyle Shanahan has had some failures in the post season but my goodness can he win some games in the regular season with random people. Lance goes down and they win with a guy who didn’t have a playbook. Now they go out and just crush Brady and the Bucs with the very last pick in the draft at QB. I am half serious that I could walk out there, get a couple of practices in and go win a game, Baker Mayfield style. It is so impressive. Almost as impressive as the amounts of injuries they have. Deebo is hurt…again and Purdy got injured too. Things keep going this way and they might actually need me to play QB soon.

Not as good as their record: Cowboys and Vikings

Both of these teams have 10 wins and are locks for the playoffs. But both have issues. The Cowboys pulled away from the Colts late and had to score a td with a minute left to beat the Texans. They occasionally blow people out but do you really trust Dak and Mike McCarthy in the playoffs? The Vikings are the kings of choking. They just lost to the Lions and again, do you trust Kirk Cousins. They are both winning one playoff game at best.

Might win a playoff game: Chargers and Dolphins

The Chargers are getting healthy and should make the playoffs. They play the Titans this week and then the Colts, Rams and Broncos. While all the AFC East teams are beating up each other, so in theory, they should coast in as the second wild card behind the Bengals or Ravens. But then again, it is the Chargers so if there is a way to not make it, they will find a way. The Dolphins will likely lose their 3rd in a row to the Bills. Then they face the Packers, Patriots and Jets to end the season. That last game could be a play in game. But if either get in, they are dangerous. Both have a lot of playmakers and score some points. If either of them get the Ravens or Titans, they will win. And if they get one of the top 3, I wouldn’t be shocked if they pulled the upset. But winning 3 in a row isn’t happening so they will be one and done regardless.

Teams that will lose in the first round of the playoffs: Titans, Ravens, Giants, Commanders

The Titans are going to win the South not because they are good but because the Jags have just lost too many games already. The Ravens schedule is so easy that they should win out until week 18 when they play the Bengals. If the Bengals lose before then, the Ravens could lose to the Bengals and still win the division. That is best case scenario because otherwise, the Ravens and Titans will play and that will be a very boring game. This is also the only way either of them wins a playoff game. Either way, neither of these teams will win a game past that. I am reluctantly accepting that the Commanders and Giants are going to make the playoffs. I think the difference will actually be their tie. I think the Giants will have the same amount of wins as the Seahawks and Lions but one less loss because of the tie. But the Cowboys will be the top wild card and play the NFC south champ with the best chance at winning. The Commanders could maybe beat the Vikings if the 49ers end up as the 2 seed. But I think all 4 of these teams are likely one and done.

Going to miss the playoffs but it sure has been fun: Jets, Jaguars, Lions, Seahawks

All 4 of these teams are technically still in it. But they likely need to win out to have a shot. The Jaguars need to win out and get help with the Titans losing a couple. The Seahawks, Jaguars and Lions both still play the Jets along with several other difficult opponents. The Seahawks play the 49ers on Thursday and the Chiefs next week (ouch). The Jets play all 3 other teams and end with the Dolphins. Pretty much every game is a playoff game the rest of the way for the Jets. I don’t see them going 4-0. The Lions have the easiest schedule but unfortunately for them 3 of the 4 games are outdoors. Jared Goff indoors is Tom Brady last year. Jared Goff outdoors is Josh Rosen. He has been terrible outside of domes. It’s been a fun ride but these teams are cooked.

2020 NFC East: 2022 NFC South

One of these pathetic teams is going to make the playoffs and host the Cowboys. Not only that, because the Cowboys are the kings of choking, they might even win a game. The Bucs are leading the way but are about to host the Bengals. After losing that, they should win out and finish 9-8. They play the Cardinals, Panthers and Falcons. But they have already lost to the Panthers and should have lost to the Falcons so who knows. The other 3 teams are even worse…although, I guess the Panthers have gotten better. But really we all should be cheering for the Bucs to drop two more and everyone else to lose at least one. There’s nothing funnier than a team with a losing record making the playoffs.

Team who’s Quarterback wants to be traded but this time it isn’t Rodgers: Packers

Apparently, Jordan Love would like to play some football. He sees that Rodgers isn’t going anywhere. Rodgers also hasn’t looked great so the Packers have a choice. Keep rolling with the old guy or bet on the young guy who has potential but is an unknown at this point. Geez, this Packers story seems familiar. The Packers are actually not eliminated yet but would need to win out and get some help. They have the Rams this week and then the Dolphins, Vikings and Lions. All of those besides the Dolphins are at home. I kind of think they might win out and sneak in. Regardless, I hope Christian Watson keeps catching touchdowns at least through week 17. (Fantasy football playoffs, here I come.)

Teams too boring to write about: Patriots, Steelers, Cardinals, Colts

Patriots still have a shot at the playoffs but no one really cares including them. Steelers are on their way to their first losing season. The Cardinals are a disaster but not in a funny way and the Colts were on a bye.

Team that’s Quarterback likes massages more than touchdowns: Browns

I was at Sports Clips last night to get my hair cut. I got the MVP because I like my hair washed after I get it cut. If you have have never been to a Sports Clips, you don’t know what an MVP is, so let me describe it to you. After they cut your hair they take you back to where they was your hair. They put you in a seat that vibrates (it is supposed to be like a massage chair but it basically just moves around a little bit). They put a warm towel on your face and then they wash your hair and massage your head. After this, they take you back to where they cut your hair and they use this massage club thing to massage your shoulders a little bit. I have been going somewhere else and hadn’t been to a Sports Clips in a while and I forgot how awkward this is. Besides actually washing my hair, none of the rest of it is needed or even wanted. If I could go back in time, I would have asked them to just wash my hair but by the time I realized/remembered how awkward it makes me feel I was already in too deep. I walked out of there feeling a little yucky and then I thought about Massage boy. Again, even if he did absolutely nothing wrong, it’s still gross. Sooo many massages! You know what he hasn’t had many of yet…touchdowns. It will be more of the same on Saturday.

Team with a guy at Quarterback that I need to score a lot of fantasy points the next 3 weeks: Bears

The Bears are not good. I am not even sure if Justin Fields is good or not. But he is good at scoring lots of Fantasy points. With Lamar hurt, he is my guy in my family league. He has Philly and Buffalo coming up. At least they are both at home and they will probably be losing so that means lots of passing which will lead to lots of running because his o-line sucks. All of that should lead to lots of fantasy points. At least that is what I am banking on. Wish me luck!

Baker’s Dozen: Rams

Dude, how awesome was Baker coming in with two days of practice and beating the Raiders with a 98 yard drive to win the game. More on the Raiders losing that game in a minute, but what a fun game for him. He has had a rough year from being traded from the team that picked you #1 so they could go with a guy who might go to jail and at best wasn’t going to play until week 12. To being cut from the team you got traded to after falling to 3rd string behind Sam Darnold and PJ Walker. To showing up Tuesday and then playing on Thursday. There is a lot of hate towards Baker. I don’t mind Baker. As I told one friend, he is like the loud obnoxious kid on your team. When you are winning it is alright and you sort of just put up with it, but when you are losing it gets old real fast. Unfortunately for the Rams I think this was a one hit wonder and they will go back to losing on Monday.

Raider’s gonna raider again: Raiders

After a short hiatus from this category because of Derek Carr’s tears, they are back! And I am so happy. This is where they belong. And they got their in the best sort of way. First of all, they couldn’t get 1 yard to close out the game even though they have the running back with the most yards in the league. Then they punt and pin them all the way on the 2. Enter Baker for a 98 yard drive assisted by an unnecessary holding penalty and then my personal favorite an unsportsmanlike penalty. They actually sacked Baker but then one of their idiotic players knocked the ball out of his hands when he was trying to give it to the ref. This stopped the clock, gave them 15 yards and a first down. Then for some reason, they decide to go with press coverage with 12 seconds left and give up a touchdown in man to man coverage. Richard Sherman hasn’t been this upset after a game since he was yelling “run the ball!”. Even Baker was like, yeah I couldn’t believe they were in that coverage. So bad and so awesome all at once. It’s great to have you back Raiders.

The Ride is almost over: Broncos

The Broncos had their best offensive day of the year and still lost. Wilson is concussed and will probably miss this weeks game. I am going to have to sit through Brett Rypien versus Colt McCoy…yuck. But the good news is, it is almost over. After the summer Broncos hype train, they are eliminated from the playoffs with 4 weeks to go. But only 4 more games of “Let’s ride.” I can’t wait to see what Russ’s tagline is next year. The suspense is killing me.

Team we should blow out but instead will beat by 10: Texans

The Texans just played the game of their lives and lost a close one to the Cowboys. I doubt they have a second performance in them. Their one good offensive player, Dameon Pierce is hurt. This has blow out written all over it. But I am sure we will start out slow…take a decent lead into half time, turn the ball over a couple of times and end up winning by 10. Go Chiefs and stuff.